Yoda would definitely encourage us to speak our truth….gently!
How many of us are afraid to speak our truth? Do we even know what our truth is?
Speaking our truth essentially means to express freely what we feel to be the best, healthiest and truest decision for ourselves regarding any and every situation with which we are faced.
For example, if someone asks us to do something and we really don’t want to do it, how often do we oblige this person, do what it is they are asking and then either mentally ruminate about how much we resent it or we express our displeasure verbally or through our body language to others and perhaps to the person who has asked us for help?
How many times, when someone does something habitually to annoy us, pressures us to do something we don’t want to do, guilts us into doing something (the list goes on and on) do we keep quiet, but secretly become angry at this person or talk about them to others?
This is what happens when we are not speaking our truth; when we are not being true to our own needs, desires and preferences and care more about what people think of us than caring for ourselves.
Are there times when we need to sacrifice ourselves – our time, money, energy for the good of others? Absolutely. However, the problem is when we do it all of the time – we become chronic people pleasers and swallow our feelings of resentment and this almost always manifests itself in illness or gaining weight, eventually.
What are the signs we are not being true to ourselves and have failed to speak our truth?
1. We feel angry, resentful or dread when we are about to do something.
2. We are in a state of mental monkey mind – this is when we are going over and over what we would LIKE to say to this person, but we never actually verbalize it.
3. When we find ourselves talking either about the person who has disappointed us in the form of gossip or complaining – or we are continually talking about how we have to do such and such for so and so and how unfair or what a pain it is.
4. We develop colds, sore throats, toothaches – any illness to do with the throat or mouth is usually a red flag that we do not feel free to express ourselves and we are holding “infectious words” within us, instead of verbalizing them to others.
5. We become gossips or are forever talking ABOUT someone rather than TO them.
6. Our relationships begin to lack honesty or depth.
7. We disempower ourselves and therefore feel weak or angry with ourselves.
8. Eating disorders can develop – this is especially true of bulimia. We literally “swallow” all of the unhealthy words or thoughts from others or ourselves and then regurgitate them back out in anger.
9. Others sense our anger or resentment and avoid having social interactions with us.
10. We actually create more separation from our Authentic Self and soon become almost deaf to our own needs and desires.
What does it mean to speak our truth?
It is when what we think, speak and act is in alignment with each other. If we say yes to something, we make peace about it mentally and we do it. If we say no to something, we mentally let ourselves off the hook – we do not allow guilt to develop and we stick to our “no” in our actions. An example of this is when we begin dating and we tell our partner that we are not comfortable becoming intimate with them until three months have passed. Then we speak and act according to what we have told the person. If we sleep with them the next week (which of course all of us have gone back on what we’ve told someone at some point in our lives) we disempower ourselves and we never feel completely trustworthy in our own word – and neither will that other person. My belief is, if you don’t think you can do it, then don’t say it!
Speak Your Truth http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Speak-Your-Truth_2