Chinese Orchid: Teaches Us How to Love & Romance Ourselves!
“Rather than depending on insects or even the wind for pollination, scientists have discovered that the orchid Holcoglossum amesianum actually fertilizes itself. The orchid defies gravity to twist the male part of its flower into the necessary shape to fertilize the female one. The orchid produces no scent or nectar. Instead, the pollen-bearing anther uncovers itself and rotates into a suitable position to insert into the stigma cavity, where fertilization takes place. This sexual relationship is so exclusive that flowers do not even transfer pollen to other flowers on the same plant.’ (wikipedia)
Why is it so important to love and romance ourselves?
We all know the cliché – it’s only a cliché because it’s true – that in order to love others, we must first love ourselves. This is based on the premise that one cannot give what one does not have first. How on earth can we share a loaf of bread with others if we first do not make sure we reach out and accept this loaf of bread for ourselves?
Buddha on loving yourself:
“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
How do we Romance Our Soul?
We often find it easier to do for others the things we rarely would do for ourselves. We buy cards on special days like Valentine’s Day for the people we love – but how often do we write or send a loving message to ourselves?
Here are some fun, practical methods to begin practicing loving yourself:
1. Make a list of 5 – 10 things that you would do to romance someone else. For example, you might buy them flowers, a card, make them a nice dinner, or buy them a gift certificate at their favourite store or spa. Then make a committment to yourself to do one of these things for yourself each week for the next few weeks until you make a habit of romancing yourself.
2. Write a love letter to yourself: What would you say to yourself – either your inner child or you as an adult? It may be wise to begin writing to your inner child because we often have more love and compassion for her or him than we do for our adult selves.
3. Choose kind and compassionate words to speak to yourself during the day. Become aware of the things that you say to yourself on a daily basis. How many kind statements, such as “Hey _______, I’m really proud of how you handled yourself at work today,” or “Way to go on getting to the gym today!” do you say to yourself versus how many negative things? Attempt to catch every negative thought or statement as you think it or say it; then state: “cancel, cancel, cancel” and then replace it with a more compassionate statement to yourself.
4. Surround yourself with beautiful things – nothing says you love and appreciate yourself like creating a living – or work – space with uplifting or colourful accents.
5. Post a positive quotation near your computer that you can look at every day.
6. Post a picture of yourself that you really like or of one where you are smiling and having fun with friends.
7. Add a plant or vase full of fresh-cut flowers in your home.
8. Buy a diffuser with lovely smelling scents – citrus or cinnamon lifts your spirit and causes the brain to release endorphins.
9. Make a call list of friends or family that you can call at a moments notice and keep it where you can see it daily – this will remind you of people you love and who love you!
10. Dress well – nothing says you love yourself more than caring to dress yourself in clothes that you feel really good – or sexy – or attractive – each morning (depending on your work of course!)
May this Valentine’s Day, you remember to love and romance the most important person in the world – YOU!
Next Blog Series: Forgiving Ourselves When We Make Mistakes