Financial Freedom: Count Your Blessings First! Part 4 of 5 Series

   Giving Thanks Creates Magic!

There isn’t anything that will put us in a good mood faster and a hopeful state of mind more than sitting down and counting the blessings we already have!

This list can never be too minute, from being thankful for having eyelashes to protect our eyes from debris to having a car to drive or a warm house to live in.
Have you ever counted your every blessing?
We probably couldn’t if we tried because the list would keep growing if we were open to being thankful for each and everything thing – big or small in our life – right down to the microscopic bacteria in our digestive track that helps our food to digest throughout the day.
Since this is TAX season, it’s a great time to take account of all the things we already have, especially if we hope to receive more financial freedom. We can be thankful for that great tax return BEFORE we receive it – and focus on the abundance in our lives NOW.
There is nothing that will ensure more blessings in our lives than counting the ones we already have!
Rhonda Byrne from her book, The Magic outlines this effectively in the following passage:
“When you use gratitude ahead of time to Have A Magical Day it wipes out unexpected problems or difficulties before they happen. The more you use this magical practice, the better your days will become, and from the smallest things to the important things, everything starts going well in your life. The bumpy days smooth out, and instead of frustrating or troublesome things happening in your day, your days start to have a magical flow about them, and things seem to magically go your way, with less effort, no worry, no stress, and far more joy.”
Universal Law of Gratitude:
The more gratitude you feel = the more joy and happiness you feel = the more joy or happiness you feel = the higher your vibrational energy = the higher your vibrational energy = the more you attract wonderful things to your life that cause you to be more grateful and more joyful. It’s as simple as that.  Follow this formula and see what happens in your life!
This LAW has been studied and scientifically proven just like the law of gravity. We do not question the law of gravity. We simply live it, by trusting that when we get out of bed in the morning our feet will “magically” stay on the ground.
When we trust the Universal Law of Gratitude when we get out of bed in the morning, by putting into practice an attitude of gratitude, we will automatically experience more things in our lives for which to be grateful.

If you started counting your blessings right now, beginning with your internal organs working well, without you having to tell them to, ending with everything and everyone you’ve ever been blessed with, I guarantee you will be sitting down for a long time.

Today, write down 100 things for which you are thankful and see if the Universe doesn’t respond and send you much, much more, including that financial freedom you have been longing for!  Want to exponentially increase this magic?  Do it every day for 40 days (the amount it takes to make it a fully ingrained habit within our subconscious)!  I have found doing it for only a few days so far, has made a vast difference in how I go about my day!
You can create a chart like the one below or you can visit Sarah Ban Breathnach’s (author of Gratitude Journal) and see her online gratitude journal:  http://www.simpleabundance.com/gratitude.html

 100 hundred (or begin with 10) things I’m grateful for right now…

Financial Freedom: Breathe Your Way to Success! Part 3 of 5

What does breathing have to do with our financial freedom?

Everything!
If you can, for one moment, imagine that money has the same characteristics as oxygen, the analogy I am about to discuss, will be much easier to understand.
We need oxygen to live. We do not have to create it, find it, discover it, work for it or pay for it. It is essential to life functioning and functioning well. It was here before we arrived via our birth and it will be here after we leave our physical bodies. The way in which we receive oxygen is also not our responsibility in that our subconscious minds are already programmed to cause our bodies – from the time we take our first breath until the time we take our last – to regulate when and how much oxygen we inhale and exhale without even having to give it a second thought.

What if we could get our minds around the idea that money – in its essence – which is simply energy, just like oxygen – is exactly the same way. Our conscious minds might have a difficult time accepting that like oxygen, we do not have to create money, find it, discover it, work for it or pay for it. It is also essential to life functioning and functioning well. It was here before we arrived via our birth and it will be here after we leave our physical bodies. The way in which we receive money is also not our responsibility in that our subconscious minds are already programmed to cause our bodies to regulate when and how much money we take in and give out without even having to give it a second thought.
Is this difficult for you to get your mind around?

Probably.
Why? Because we have been told, taught, programmed, lectured to regarding the fact that “money doesn’t grow on trees, it is not free, it needs to be created, earned, found, and worked really hard for!”
Our parents did not tell us this about oxygen or breathing because our parents knew from their experience that it was simply provided for us, no questions asked. We have an abundance of oxygen each and every day – never do we have to worry or fret about it – never have we been taught to worry or fret about it.
Imagine if this were true of money.
What if we had never been taught to worry or fret about it and we had known from the time we were born that it would be provided to us?

The only difference between those of us in abundance and those in lack is this belief. Whenever a person begins to choose to believe that money, like oxygen is their birth-right simply because they were born and given the exact same opportunities as any other human, they begin to allow and receive money easily, no questions asked.

Unfortunately, most of us – especially those of us who had parents or grandparents who grew up during the depression – were taught that money was lacking and that if we wanted to have any, we better work hard, save it, sometimes hoard it, and certainly not waste it on frivolous or fun things. This very belief is the very thing that has caused most of us to be lacking money at some point in our lives.
If we had been taught from birth that oxygen was not free and we had to work for it, we would most certainly be focusing on our breath, making sure we were breathing all the time and working hard at keeping ourselves alive. However, the entire time, our Divine Intelligence is more than happy to provide it for us, but because we insist on doing it for ourselves, It lets us.

We wouldn’t be able to do much else of course, but that’s okay, because at least we’d be alive.
Fortunately for us, our parents were not born into a world where oxygen was scarce or hard to find – one day, if we keep up with the consumeristic rat-race of producing things and having pollution as the by-product, our children or grandchildren may very well end up in a society that teaches just that: “For heaven’s sake, don’t waste oxygen by running around or playing or having fun – there’s barely enough to go around!”
This is what we’ve been directly or indirectly taught about money.
Let me ask you something: Why on earth would our loving Universal Intelligence be utterly generous when it comes to oxygen and the life-creating substance and then turn around and be stingy in other areas of our lives? It doesn’t make sense.

The Universal Intelligence does not waver in its abundance of the things we need and desire on this earth – it simply responds to our belief systems as an individual and a society. If we believe that money is hard to find; it will be. If we believe that we have to work really, really hard to earn it; it will let us do just that.
So how do we return to what we knew as babies – that everything we needed would be provided for us?
When we took our first breath we knew instantly what it was to have the life-giving gift of breath and we often take it for granted. The first thing we need to do is become aware of our breathing and demonstrate our gratitude for it – for oxygen and the ability to receive it.
30 second Breathing Exercise that could change your life:
Step # 1:  Take a deep breath in and as you breath, say: “Thank you for oxygen!” and when you exhale say: “Thank you for my ability to breathe!”

Step # 2: On the next breath, say: “Thank you for money (you can insert the word of your choice – prosperity, financial freedom, success, love)!” and when you exhale say: “Thank you my ability to receive it!”

Do this as many times as you can or become aware of your breath during the day!
Even if you are sceptical; even if you do not believe a word you’ve read, practice this exercise for 30 seconds whenever you can today and in the next few days. What have you got to lose?
What you have to gain is a great exercise in breathing which always relaxes us, slows our heart rate and sends endorphins throughout our entire system and perhaps, just like oxygen is always provided and in abundance, your financial health may begin to increase as well!

Next Post:  Financial Freedom:  Counting Our Blessings from 1-100

Financial Freedom: The GOOD news about your BAD situation! Part 1 of 5 Series

The GOOD news about your BAD situation! 

Are you in a state of discomfort in your life?  Have you been there for an extended period of time?  This could include a state of illness, debt, poverty, frustration, lack of love, failure – whatever it is, what you know for sure from your experience is that you have had enough and you want something better for yourself and your life!

This is the SECRET as to WHY we need to suffer in our lives – not because God or the Universe wants us to suffer; but because the Divine Intelligence of the Universe knows that until we are really uncomfortable with our circumstances, we will rarely – or never – desire or take action to move out of our comfort zone to better ourselves and our lives.

Ester and Jerry Hicks describe this phenomenon in their book, The Astonishing Power of Emotions in these words: “…you often see things (in your life) that you do not want.  And each time that occurs, a clarification of what you do wants erupts within you.  Occasionally the experience is so dramatic that you could clearly state, “I don’t want that! And I now understand what I want instead is…”

The Hicks go on to explain this phenomenon and its brilliance, in this manner:

“And so, whether you are consciously aware of your new expanded desire or not, desire is born out of the contrast you are living…for during that process of knowing what you do not want, the clear, expanded idea of what you prefer instead is born and your Inner Being (or the Source within you) turns its undivided attention to that new expanded idea!…The contrast that you would be living stimulates new ideas of improvement and expansion within you…the broader non-physical part of you would embrace the new ideas fully and would literally become their vibrational equivalent.”

It is this vibrational equivalent that we – or our Inner Beings – are always seeking because it knows that like attracts like.  If we are functioning on a vibrational level of poverty; our beliefs, thinking and actions will continue to create and attract more poverty.  If we undergo an experience like the one described above, we will begin to shift our beliefs, our thoughts and our actions – because we are really uncomfortable in our situation; ultimately shifting our entire vibrational energy to match what it is we do want – wealth, prosperity and success – and then ultimately begin to attract it.

Essentially, while we are comfortable in our way of thinking and acting we are not very inspired to change or become the better, more expanded version of ourselves that our Divine Intelligence knows we can be.  We literally have to experience the discomfort – and usually for an extended period of time – in order to want something new and better – a better us – a better life – in order to actually attract it and achieve it.

Disclaimer: Not all people who experience suffering or discomfort expand and go onto a higher vibrational level of success.  Some of us have to experience the same discomfort or pain a few times in our lives in order to overcome it and move beyond it.  Some never do overcome it, as they become victims to their suffering and continue all their lives to tell themselves and others the same old story of their lives.  In order to benefit from this particular secret of life we must be willing to change and we must have enough desire for a transformed existence of ourselves.

The good news is that once we make up our mind to change,  a miraculous thing begins to happen – the Universe begins to put people, ideas, books and all kinds of resources in our path to facilitate this growth.  I have seen this time and again in my life. I will be guided to go into a particular bookstore  or I will already be somewhere and I will be prompted to begin looking for something – it is usually just a quiet impression on my spirit.  Or, as what happened recently, on the way home after my car had a gas leak, I ended up walking beside a gentleman who is a manager of a spiritual store in my neighbourhood and we had a wonderful discussion about life, spirituality and making the most of bad situations.  Interestingly enough, just recently I made up my mind to explore my spirituality more, step out and make new friends and to make the best of any adversity – big or small – in my life.  Lo and behold, my car breaking down allowed me to do all three of these things at once!

What obstacles do you find yourself perpetually going up against?  What situation have you been struggling with for so long that you are SO ready to be free of?  This is your area of growth.  You cannot become greater in any area in your life – until like the Universe – you are willing to allow yourself to expand.

The irony is that we can only allow the very things we want by giving up the struggle – stop focusing on the negative or the lack in our lives.  Once we focus on the things we already have – and feel gratitude for them – then we will be going with the flow of abundance and be able to attract and allow what it is we desire.

Next Post:  How Gratitude leads to a New Attitude about Everything!

 

Money: How to Make it Serve You! Part 4 of 5 Series

We Receive What we Invest in, in our Lives!

We can only receive what we can allow ourselves to receive and this is completely proportionate to what we believe, think, feel and how we act towards what it is we want to attract.

If we want to attract more money to our lives; we must first learn how to water and nurture that area, which usually requires some form of transformation or resetting our minds regarding money!

How is our mental blueprint formed?

We need to think of our minds as computers – highly advanced computers – that are programmed from the time of our conception to think, believe and ultimately make choices and take actions, based on those thoughts and beliefs. 

Essentially, our money blueprint (Ecker) is based on the program we’ve received in the past from parents, authority figures, teachers, media, culture, religious leaders, etc regarding our thoughts and attitudes towards money.  Their ways of thinking about money, became ours.

The following outline is my summary of what Harvey T. Ecker lectures about in his 6 part series on our Money Blueprint; here are the ways in which we have been programmed to think about money:

Verbal:  Phrases and messages  we heard when we were young, such as:  “Money is the root of all evil!” “You can’t be rich and spiritual” “Money can’t buy happiness!”  “We can’t afford it!”

Modeling:  What we saw when we were young –  what model or example did our parents establish for us?  Was money a source of joy or bitter arguments?  What happens to us when we see our parents or people we respect act towards money?  “Monkey see, monkey do!”  Ecker says, “humans aren’t far behind.”  We either model what our parents taught us through their example or we do the exact opposite because we are angry or in opposition to being like our parents.

Specific Incidents:  What did we experience (emotional charges)  around money, success and rich people?  We validate what we are taught in our adult lives.  For example, if we witnessed examples of conflict over money, conflict regarding money will ultimately show up in our lives.  Perhaps, we watched our parents receive money only to have it taken or lost in the form of an emergency in the family or something in the house needed to be repaired.  We grow up believing that money will go out as quickly as it comes in and we will continue to create or attract scenarios where this exact phenomenon keeps happening to us. 

How do we reset our Money Thermostat?

Ecker uses the comparison between our mental blueprint about money and a thermostat.  If the thermostat is set to maintain the house at 72 degrees  and someone comes and opens a window and lets the cold air in – no matter what, the thermostat will kick-in and drive the temperature back up to 72 degrees.  If we set the thermostat in the summer to keep us cool and it becomes very hot outside, the thermostat or central air will again kick-in to bring the temperature down and maintain it at what we have programmed it.

Ecker says this is exactly the same with our mental thermostat regarding many issues – particularly our thoughts about what we “need” in order to be comfortable or happy.  If we grew up poor or middle class, we were most likely programmed that just getting by or being able to pay our bills with some left over for entertainment is “living comfortably” and guess what?  That’s all our thermostat will ever allow us to be – comfortable, but not wealthy and not abundant.  Hence, we need to reset our internal thermostat.

How do we do this?

First we must understand that we are made up of four elements:  Spiritual, Mental, Emotional,  and Physical and whatever is going on in the M. E. and S. will manifest itself in the Physical realm.

Beliefs (Spiritual) = Thoughts (Mental) = Feelings (Emotional) = Our Actions and Our Results

Before we can begin to change our Money Thermostat, we must first learn how rich people think.  Here are some basic rules, Ecker outlines that we must follow before we do anything else:

1.  Stop judging rich people – give up the beliefs that “rich people are greedy or selfish” and simply observe and begin to appreciate how they think.  Replace our old programming with new statements:

Rich people are Cheap                   = Rich people are generous

It takes money to make money    = It takes creativity to make money

I’m too old to make a change        = I am able to learn new skills

I can’t be rich and nice                   = I am rich and a nice person

2.  Give up the victim stance and take full responsibility for our own financial situation (stop blaming the economy, others, high interest rates, our parents, etc.)

3.  Take Ownership over our lives and financial situation:  “I create my life!” vs. “life happens to me!”

4.  Stop justifying that we don’t need money, can just get by, just want to be comfortable or that money isn’t that important.

5.  What we focus on, EXPANDS, therefore focus on what’s RIGHT in our lives – not’s what wrong!

6.  Immediately, stop complaining!   Complaining = garbage magnet!

All change begins with Awareness and with new thinking comes new results!

Changing your blue print about money:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeNAGoFSqno

Next Post:  Learn how to love and appreciate money!  Part 5 of 5 Series

Money: How to Make it Serve You! Part 2 of 5 Series

How do we begin to have money serve us, rather than be its servant? 

It’s actually very easy.  We must first recognize that money was created by human beings – not the other way around.  We created money as a form of currency to get what we need and desire.  However, it is interesting how many of us have become a slave to money.

How can we be a slave to something that we ourselves created in order to serve us?  Did money one day take up arms against us, revolt and take us over?  No.  However, our wants and desires did and therefore money has become our master instead of serving many of us.  As soon as we put ourselves in a position of lack or desire; we are then slaves to money, asking the Universe, God or anything else to send us some form of it in abundance. We simply need to take back our power from money – as it is only an illusion that it has any power over us anyway.

How do we take back our power and become the master of money and the master of our lives once again?

Like any loyal and faithful servant that is hired to serve us; we must recognize our position of authority and act from that position.  It wouldn’t do us much good if we hired a cook, gardener, cleaner or anyone else to provide a service to us, and then when they arrived at our house, we tell them, “you know what, do what you want; it would be nice if you would carry out your duties and I will pay you, but really, I have no authority over you, so you can just do whatever you want!”  Hence, we must not do this with money either. Otherwise, it will do just that for us – nothing!  Our belief that we are a slave to money will ultimately allow it to have mastership over us.

We must begin to establish a relationship with money that begins with honesty regarding our feelings and attitude towards it.  Then, we can begin to take ownership over it and become the authoritative master to our loyal and faithful servant that was in fact, created for us and to serve us.

Let’s begin by writing money a letter: 

 Dear Money

I love you and I respect you.  I have known you all of my life.  I have appreciated your worth since time began – the extrinsic power that you have to create excitement, fear, loathing, abhorrence and pleasure.  I have probably felt all of these things towards you at some point or another.  I have felt excitement when I have been given you;  when I have earned you; when you have been spent on me; and when I have spent you.  I have felt sadness and despair when I have lost you and when you have been stolen from me.  I have felt great and profound excitement when I’ve had you.  I have kept you, saved you, wasted you, spent you and given you to others.  I have felt for a long time that you have power over me and I have to beg to have you in my life.  I’ve prayed, pleaded, asked, and cried over you at times.  However, I now recognize my error.

I now recognize my authoritative power and I realize that I am not your servant – you are mine.  You were created by humans in order to aid us in having and obtaining and keeping what it is we desire.  I now recognize that you are a form of energy, manifested in paper and metals and have been created solely to serve us – to serve me.  I now treat you in this form – an energy – a source in order to help me create and have the life I desire.

You are not only my faithful and loyal servant – you are my friend, my aid, my supporter in all things.  You are in my life in abundance and more and more of you is coming to me and to my life.  You are paying off my loans.  You are paying all of my bills easily and effortlessly.  You are coming to me – in my mail, in my email, in my bank account, in my hands and in the form of gifts, prizes, treasures, offers and opportunities that are coming easily and effortlessly to me.  You are coming to me in abundance and I am attracting more and more of you each and every day.  You are my loyal and faithful servant!

You are my loyal and faithful servant and you are to serve me and support me today and the rest of my life – in abundance.  The only thing I owe you is my gratitude. I appreciate you and love you and allow you to NOW flow easily, effortlessly and abundantly into my subconscious, consciousness, life, bank account, wallet and my hands!  My cup and my life runneth over with you!  And I know this to be true.

Your faithful and loyal master, ________________.

I recommend that you write your own letter to money; preferably hand-written first.  There is something very powerful about using our hands and the power of putting ink to paper.  Then, if you wish, you can type it and post it somewhere you will read it every day for at least 30 days – although 40 days seems to be the magic number when it comes to creating a habit.

May you begin to see the physical manifestation in your life that money is not only your friend, but your loyal and faithful servant that wishes to be your companion and helper each and every day of your life!

Powerful Subliminal Training for Money:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlw97AQyswc

Next Post:  Money: Taking Note of Where it is and isn’t Serving You!

Prosperity: How to Recognize It! Part 5 of 5 Series

# 1:   We need to recognize that there is NO Universal Genie!

First of all, unlike what the book, The Secret teaches – there is NO Universal Genie!  There is however, a loving Divine, Universal Creator or Lifeforce that at ALL times, wants the very highest good for us.  Therefore, we must recognize that while asking for and desiring a million dollars to be dropped into our laps is not necessarily wrong – it may be wrong for our highest good, at least in the moment.

How do we put ourselves in a position to receive what the Universe does desire to bestow upon us? 

When we begin planting seeds for prosperity by writing and saying affirmations, we need to first look at our core beliefs about money and success.  The Universe (or God) gives us what we can manage – and manage well.  If we have not been that exceptional with money – either by not saving it or getting ourselves in debt – it is unlikely that the universe will send us a great deal of money all at once because in its infinite wisdom, knows that this is not the best thing for our spirit.  We also know this.

However, what it will do is respond to our desire for prosperity and abundance by immediately sending us small signs that it intends and desires to lavish us with abundance.

What we must do, however, is keep our eyes and ears open to these signs.

For example, abundance may begin to show up in our lives in many forms:

1.  A gift certificate from a friend

2.  A favourite item of ours that just happens to be on sale

3.  Several friends call us in one day and invite us somewhere

4.  Opportunities to make money suddenly begin to come our way

5.  Creative ideas begin to pour into our minds regarding how to make money

6.  A friend offers to buy us our lunch or dinner

7.  Someone comes into our lives just at the right time in order to carry out a favour or job that we don’t have the money for and they offer to do it for free or at cost

8.  We begin to find pennies or loose change every where we go

9.  We get a break on a bill payment or credit card payment out of the blue

10.  We are given a gift from someone

All of these are signs that we are in the flow of abundance and prosperity.  The problem with books like The Secret or any number of books that promise us that if we just do enough affirmations, the Universal Genie will show up and plop a million dollars in our laps is this:

# 1:  Our belief system – our core thoughts about money or whether we deserve or feel we are good stewards of money may be blocking us from this type of abundant gift at the moment.

#2: Secondly, it may be that we haven’t been that great at saving our money and so we truly do not believe we deserve or would be able to manage that amount of money just yet.

#3:  Thirdly, it may be our spiritual journey to earn that type of money through a creative idea of our own instead of simply being given it.

For example, if you have always wanted to step out and begin a business of your own and your fear has been holding you back – it is unlikely that a million dollars is going to be simply given to you.  What kind of spiritual growth comes from that?  It may be that the creative idea or business plan is given to you so that you can overcome your fear of stepping out into your dreams – and that is what earns you your first million.

The most important thing we must realize about our Divine, Universal Creator is that it knows what is best for us at all times and that it is NOT a genie – it is love and will bring to us what we desire in the form that is for our highest emotional, mental and spiritual good.

In the meantime, we must begin to recognize the first signs of abundance and to rejoice in them.  The more grateful we are in the small things, the more we will be bestowed with greater things.  We will also begin to trust ourselves more in regard to money, prosperity and abundance and this will begin to shift our core beliefs that perhaps we are not trustworthy or deserving of large amounts of money. 

If you want abundance in your life and you are given a five dollar gift certificate or find a penny on the street, rejoice.  If you want love and you are asked out on a date, rejoice.  If you want a job and someone offers you a chance to make money – even if its something you may not like, rejoice.  If you want new friendships and a stranger speaks to you on the street, rejoice.  All of these are the tiny buds that are coming to the surface.  We do not cut off the bud just because it isn’t yet the flower – nor do we curse at it and tell it, it’s not enough!  Rejoice in the small things and greater things will be given unto you!

I challenge you to begin not only repeating a mantra or mantras for what you desire as if you have already received it in the present, but also to create a vision board with pictures and words and cheques for exactly what you want and put it in a place that you look at or see every single day to remind you and your subconscious of the things you are already grateful for receiving from the universe!

Here are some examples of prosperity affirmations to get you started:

Mantra # 1:

I have more than enough money to pay all of my bills NOW and lots left over for fun and travel!

Mantra # 2:

I am in abundance NOW and am wealthy and prosperous and financially free to _____________________!

Mantra # 3:

Money is attracted to me and comes to me easily and effortlessly!

Next Post Series:  How to love ourselves THROUGH our mistakes!

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: You Don’t Have to Like Your Family! Part 7 of 10

Does your family make you want to pull your hair out?

Well, you’re in good company.  I have rarely talked to anyone who hasn’t, at one time or another, been frustrated with their family members.

Wayne Dyer says this about family: 

“Friends are God‘s way of making up for our families.”

How many of us have spent a lifetime trying to understand, get along with, make peace with, be understood by or simply communicate with our families to no avail?  How many us have been disappointed, hurt, frustrated, or completely exasperated with one family member or another?

Take it from me – I do understand. I am the youngest of seven siblings – and almost ten years younger than the ones next to me in age.  Essentially, I had the experience of growing up in a large family; and also as an only child.  With numerous personalities within one family, there will always be issues, disputes, and fights; sometimes knock-down, drag-out fights!

However, we need to look at our families differently; this has helped me a great deal.  It wasn’t until I realized that my family was less about people with whom I had to get along, have understand me or be extremely close to and much more about the spiritual and emotional work I have to do on this earth – in this physical journey.

In essence, we need to stop looking at our family members as people who should (there’s that word again – see my post on “Forget your Shoulds!”) be a certain way or understand us or be there for us.  Our family members are this:  Spiritual Bumper Cars.

Essentially, we are stuck in a perpetual game with them for this lifetime. 

Have you ever noticed the big poles to which bumper cars are attached?  There is a steering wheel within these small, colourful cars, but who are we kidding – we aren’t in control of those damn cars – not even our own!   We go along steering, trying in vain to either hit into the others or avoid them, and all the while, we really have no control at all – nor can we remove our car from the game.

Hence, this is how we need to think of our family members – especially if there is dissonance between us and them.  When we arrive on this earth, we have no control in which family we are born or what personalities the rest of them will have.  We spend almost our entire lives in this Bumper Car game with them – sometimes managing to move around them; sometimes bumping into them and having a good laugh and sometimes, we get hurt when we bump into them too hard or vice versa.

What’s the good news about looking at our family members this way?

It takes the pressure off of us to have some deep, meaningful relationship (if you do, that’s wonderful – but many do not) and we can see them more objectively as the people with whom we are meant to do our spiritual and emotional work during our journey here on earth.

In fact, I believe that we are meant to bump up, crash into and even get hurt by these people we call parents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and yes, even our own children.  They are our reflections and our work.  So, now you have permission to stop longing for them to change or understand them at every moment or even having a relationship with them at all.  Of course, it is never good to hold on to grudges or resentment – this poison only hurts us – not them.  If we need to forgive them, then we must do this for us – not them.

However, the next time you visit or spend time with your family members and you can view them as if in a game with a bunch of bumper cars around you, it may take a little pressure off and even be a little more fun during the experience.

If only when they bump into us and shake us to our core, could we laugh like we do in a game of good old bumpers cars!

Next Post:  10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You – Speak Your Truth! Part 8 of 10

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Forget Your Shoulds! Part 6 of 10 Series

“You SHOULD!”

How many times have we shaken our fingers at ourselves about something we should have done, should be doing, or should do soon?  We are often “shoulding” ourselves about something; and this is not surprising as most of us could not count how many times we have been told in our past about something we should do.  We have heard it from our parents, adults, teachers, authority figures, siblings, peers in the past and perhaps even now; and more often, from ourselves.  We are carrying on a tradition that others began inside of our minds and we should stop!  Okay, this is the one should you can listen to!

For example, how many us are able to accomplish our New year’s resolutions?  Most of us are not successful because we often try to change things that are so well-established not only as a habit and part of our life-style,  but in the neuro-pathways of our mind.

One exercise that I completed in my four years of training to be a psycho-therapist was extremely helpful in  helping me begin to make changes – albeit small changes at first – in my life and getting rid of my shoulds and turning them into accomplishments.

Many of us have a long list of shoulds:

I should go to the gym

I should go on a diet

I should be more patient

I should travel more

I should save my money for travel

I should save more!  Work more!  Work less!

…and the list goes on.

For some reason, the word “should” continues to resonate in our minds as a non-committal, sit-on-the-fence mentality that rarely ever brings about action, let alone change.   Hence, we continue to tell ourselves that we should do this or we should do that; and we almost never get around to it.

The exercise to change this kind of mentality is very simple – and yet it works.  It entails making a list of our shoulds.  Then, after reading it through, we need to decide whether we WILL or we WON’T take the action.  After we decide, we need to literally cross out the word “should” and write above it (or below it) the words “I will” or “I won’t”.  For example, if you have on your list, “I should eat less” cross out the should and write what you’ve decided to do:  I will eat less or I won’t eat less.

After you’ve finished “correcting” your list, then tuck it away somewhere and leave it for a month or two months – however long you can wait.  I did this for one month and when I returned to my list – I could barely remember what I had written on it – I had accomplished all but one of the things that I had previously, so many times said I should do.

For some reason, our brain is able to make connections to our commitment to take action and either consciously or subconsciously, we begin to make small – and sometimes big – changes in our lives.  What can an exercise like this one hurt?  Perhaps, if you return to your list and you still have things to change, you can redo the list and re-commit.  I know for me, this was the beginning of changing my entire language around accomplishing anything.

For example, another non-committal word is trying.  “Trying is lying” to ourselves.  As long as we are in the should stage or the trying stage, we do not accomplish the things we want.  Instead of saying, “I should work out three times per week,” say, “I will or I am working out three times per week.”  Instead of saying, “I’m trying to change” simply say, “I am changing ________ about my life” or “I will change _________ in my life.”  Period.  We wouldn’t want a non-committal reply from people we are relying on, so why do we accept it from ourselves?

Next Post:  10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You:  You Don’t Have to Like Your Family!  Part 7 of 10

Sensory Stimulation – Stops Aging & Makes Us Smarter! – Part 5 of Top 5 Series

Activation of the left cerebral hemisphere during sensory stimulation.

Sensory Stimulation Therapy

It turns out that stimulating our senses isn’t just beneficial for getting more in touch with our bodies and being in the present moment – it has been scientifically proven to slow the aging process, reprogram positive neuro-pathways in our brain (making us smarter by helping us think faster) and it can actually be very healing for children with autism and elderly people who have suffered from strokes or dementia.

What is sensory stimulation?

“The answer is that stimulating the senses can have a positive effect on learning as well as emotional and social growth in a child. Sensory stimulation in learning means having activities that challenge or make use of the five senses. These senses, touch, taste, smell, listening, and visual, must be included in one’s learning. Schools incorporate sensory stimulation in their curriculum from the basics of math and reading to special classes such as art or extracurricular activities such as sports. The same is true for children with special needs. For example, as more children become diagnosed with autism, more teachers are needed to educate them. Thus, it is good to see celebrities such as the telethon on comedy central held on October 15, 2006, that featured well-known comedians as well as other notable figures to help fund the building of a center to educate teachers who are specialized in teaching autistic children.

Sensory stimulation also affects the emotional and social growth of a child. Sensory affectional deprivation syndrome (link to this page) illustrates the importance of maternal affection. When moms (and dads) cuddle, sway, sing, or rock their babies and children, they are helping that child feel the emotional needs required for healthy growth.”

(http://www.autismindex.com/Therapies/Therapy_Key_Word_Site_Map/sensory/what_is_sensory_stimulation.html)

There are a lot of websites with a lot of information about the healing aspects of sensory stimulation as well as stores and places one can visit that are specifically geared to stimulating our senses.  How fun is that?

However, if you feel like making your own fun and stimulating your own senses, read the list below!  Enjoy!

Next Blog Series:   Fear – When it’s a gift – When it’s a curse! 

List of Sensory Stimulators:   (http://www.activitytherapy.com/sensorystimulation.htm)

Vision

Pretty Wrapping Paper & Florescent Papers

Animals such as Birds, Bird Feeders, Fish Tanks

Bubble Tubes

Colored Lights, Strings of Lights, Christmas Lights

Light Box

Rattles, Tambourines

Mirrors

Flashing lights & Strobe Lights

Wind Up Animals

Mobiles that are age appropriate

Wind Socks & Wind Chimes

Activity Boxes, Easy to Watch Videos

Relaxation Videos

Taste

Peanut Butter, Licorice

Jelly, Spices, Honey

Chocolate, Peppermint

Nutella (located with Peanut Butter)

Tea, Coffee, Milk Shakes, Sodas

Strong Smelling Soups

Yogurt, Ice cream, Ice Chips Flavored

Lifesavers, Pickles, Horseradish

Smell

Lavender and other oils. Use an Electric Aroma Fan

Pot Pouri, Sachets

Perfumes, Powders, Lotions

Sun Tan Lotions (Coconut)

Candles, Incense, Aromatherapy

Bath Oils, Bubble Baths, Bath Soaps

Spices

Powders, Talcum Powders, Pillows with Powders inside

Flowers, Shrubs with Scents, Flowering Trees

Bakery, Candle Shop, Candy Shop

Pet Shop, Fruit Stand

Licorice

Hearing / Sound

Water Sounds, Fountains, Bubbling Brooks, Sound of Waves

Faucet turned on, Waterfall

Washing Machine, Dishwasher

Music, Bag Pipers, Concerts

Wind Chimes

Ticking Clocks, Metronomes, Coco Clocks

Music Boxes, Whistles

Instruments- Maracas, Pianos, Tambourines, Rattles, Chimes, Electric Key Boards, Pianos, Drums

Touch

Fake Fur, Soft Ear Muffs

Pets, Horses, Cows

Outside-Leaves, Tree Bark, Roses

Snow, Sand, Shells, Sea Weed

Hard Items-Rocks, Tree Bark, Fences

Soft Items-Clay, Dirt, Play Dough

Cotton, Sheepskin, Feathers,

Pastas, Cereals, Spaghetti

Large Beads, Jewelry, Gaskets

Pat Mats, Activity Aprons & Activity Pillows

Body Pillows, Textured Fabrics

Massage, Silk Materials

Dryer vibration, blow dryers, washing machines

Movement

Swings, Slides

Hammocks

Trampoline

Sleigh Riding

Horseback Riding

Rolling Down Hill

Merry Go Rounds

Our Senses – Are We Mr. or Ms. Potato Head? Part 3 of Top 5 Series

Are you connected with your senses or are you a Mr. Potato Head?

Mr. Potato Head is one of those toys that most of us either had as a child or we are familiar with; his head has parts – eyes, ears, nose, mouth and hands that can be removed and replaced as a child sees fit.  Mr. Potato Head has these sensory parts; but cannot perceive anything through them.  In essence, he is disconnected from his senses.

How are we like Mr. Potato Head sometimes?  We know we have eyes, ears, a nose, a mouth and hands but we do not always use them to their full potential.  We are too often “in our heads” thinking, pondering or worrying and as a result, we remain disconnected from our senses and the rest of our body.

What are our senses?  “Our senses are the physical means by which all living things see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. Each sense collects information about the world and detects changes within the body. Both people and animals obtain their knowledge from their senses, and that is why our senses are so important.

All senses depend on the working nervous system. Our sense organs start to work when something stimulates special nerve cells called receptors in a sense organ. We have five main sense organs. They are the eyes, nose, ears, tongue, and skin. Once stimulated, the receptors send nerve impulses along sensory nerves to the brain. Your brain then tells you what the stimulus is. For example, your sound receptors would be bombarded by billions of sound waves. When these signals reach the part of the brain called the cerebral cortex, we become conscious of the sounds.”    Quoted from http://library.thinkquest.org/3750/  ***This website is generally for kids, but it is an informative website that simplifies what our senses are, how they work and the cool things about them.  You also get to click on Mr. Potato Head!

The interesting thing that I have found while researching the internet is that there are numerous sites with information and activities for children regarding their senses; but very few for adults.  I suppose this is symbolic of how as adults, we have become disconnected from our senses.

As children, we are encouraged to not only understand them, but to connect and have fun with them.  Then as adults, with responsibility and the stress of life, we forget this simple wisdom – to take time to look at something beautiful, stop and smell the flowers, listen to wonderful sounds, savour our food and drink, and to touch and be touched daily.

This is extremely important in getting re-connected with our bodies and as a result, to our authentic self and inner child.  According to scientist George Burns, when people are given an opportunity to list what things they enjoy the most, in regards to their senses, he “notes in his book that depressed people tend to have the shortest lists; the healthiest, happiest people tend to have long lists.  After therapy, or even as part of therapy, people tend to develop longer lists.”

( http://www.wilderdom.com/games/descriptions/SensualAwarenessInventory.html )

Practical Sensory Activity:

Do you have 20 minutes to get to know your senses?  Want to have some fun with a friend or partner?  Follow these steps:

What you will need:

1.  Blindfold

What to do:  One person chooses from the following list of these five items.  The other person is blindfolded (save the visual one for last) and relates what they hear, smell, taste, and feel AND how it makes them feel (or think) while experiencing each one.  Then exchange.

1.  Sight:  Go through a photo album (book or on your computer) and find a beautiful picture. Print it out.  (You could also use a painting in your home).

2.  Hearing:  Find a cd or radio station with music that you enjoy and put it on.

3.  Taste:  Fruit or any type of food that has a distinct or citrus flavour

4.  Smell: A flower, fragrant oil or anything with a strong smell

5.  Feel/Touch:  A feather or something with a very soft texture

Say goodbye to Mr. Potato Head and hello to Mr. or Ms.  I-stop-and-smell-the-roses!

Next Blog:  Practical Ideas to Connect with Our Senses and the Healing that Can Come from It.