Financial Freedom: Change Your Attitude! Part 5 of 5 Series

Being Grateful is all about Perspective!

I have had some scepticism about the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes – primarily because sometimes we cannot simply wish things into our lives and then receive them IF we have core beliefs that are acting as obstacles  – we must work out those beliefs first.

However, I am fully supportive of her book, The Magic, which has nothing to do with magic.  It has everything to do with what we already know: Demonstrating gratitude for the things in our lives, is good for us and can only bring more things for which to be grateful.

This post is simply to recommend to you to go out and purchase or borrow her book, The Magic. Or you can experiment with the power of your own subconscious and how it is connected to the Universe as I did:

I magically came across her book by putting it out to the Universe before I entered a second-hand store to look around,  I wanted to find a book that would provide some answers for which I was searching about attracting wonderful things – especially financial freedom – to my life.  The Universe honoured my request and I found the book within the first few seconds of scanning the bookshelves and I just knew it was the one to read.  I’ve read it and I don’t think I have read another book, besides Louise L Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life that has resonated as much with my spirit and what I believe to be true as The Magic did.

In addition, I got the book for a third of the retail price!  I love when that happens because that is an example of financial blessings being provided; and while being grateful for these first manifestations is what ultimately leads to our full financial freedom.  I dare you to go out today with a wish or request – something small enough that you can actually believe you may receive it – and see what the Universe sends you!

Have you made a list of the things you are SO grateful for today that you already have in your life?  It is the most effective way to feel good now about your life and to attract that financial freedom you want!

Financial Freedom: Count Your Blessings First! Part 4 of 5 Series

   Giving Thanks Creates Magic!

There isn’t anything that will put us in a good mood faster and a hopeful state of mind more than sitting down and counting the blessings we already have!

This list can never be too minute, from being thankful for having eyelashes to protect our eyes from debris to having a car to drive or a warm house to live in.
Have you ever counted your every blessing?
We probably couldn’t if we tried because the list would keep growing if we were open to being thankful for each and everything thing – big or small in our life – right down to the microscopic bacteria in our digestive track that helps our food to digest throughout the day.
Since this is TAX season, it’s a great time to take account of all the things we already have, especially if we hope to receive more financial freedom. We can be thankful for that great tax return BEFORE we receive it – and focus on the abundance in our lives NOW.
There is nothing that will ensure more blessings in our lives than counting the ones we already have!
Rhonda Byrne from her book, The Magic outlines this effectively in the following passage:
“When you use gratitude ahead of time to Have A Magical Day it wipes out unexpected problems or difficulties before they happen. The more you use this magical practice, the better your days will become, and from the smallest things to the important things, everything starts going well in your life. The bumpy days smooth out, and instead of frustrating or troublesome things happening in your day, your days start to have a magical flow about them, and things seem to magically go your way, with less effort, no worry, no stress, and far more joy.”
Universal Law of Gratitude:
The more gratitude you feel = the more joy and happiness you feel = the more joy or happiness you feel = the higher your vibrational energy = the higher your vibrational energy = the more you attract wonderful things to your life that cause you to be more grateful and more joyful. It’s as simple as that.  Follow this formula and see what happens in your life!
This LAW has been studied and scientifically proven just like the law of gravity. We do not question the law of gravity. We simply live it, by trusting that when we get out of bed in the morning our feet will “magically” stay on the ground.
When we trust the Universal Law of Gratitude when we get out of bed in the morning, by putting into practice an attitude of gratitude, we will automatically experience more things in our lives for which to be grateful.

If you started counting your blessings right now, beginning with your internal organs working well, without you having to tell them to, ending with everything and everyone you’ve ever been blessed with, I guarantee you will be sitting down for a long time.

Today, write down 100 things for which you are thankful and see if the Universe doesn’t respond and send you much, much more, including that financial freedom you have been longing for!  Want to exponentially increase this magic?  Do it every day for 40 days (the amount it takes to make it a fully ingrained habit within our subconscious)!  I have found doing it for only a few days so far, has made a vast difference in how I go about my day!
You can create a chart like the one below or you can visit Sarah Ban Breathnach’s (author of Gratitude Journal) and see her online gratitude journal:  http://www.simpleabundance.com/gratitude.html

 100 hundred (or begin with 10) things I’m grateful for right now…

Financial Freedom: Breathe Your Way to Success! Part 3 of 5

What does breathing have to do with our financial freedom?

Everything!
If you can, for one moment, imagine that money has the same characteristics as oxygen, the analogy I am about to discuss, will be much easier to understand.
We need oxygen to live. We do not have to create it, find it, discover it, work for it or pay for it. It is essential to life functioning and functioning well. It was here before we arrived via our birth and it will be here after we leave our physical bodies. The way in which we receive oxygen is also not our responsibility in that our subconscious minds are already programmed to cause our bodies – from the time we take our first breath until the time we take our last – to regulate when and how much oxygen we inhale and exhale without even having to give it a second thought.

What if we could get our minds around the idea that money – in its essence – which is simply energy, just like oxygen – is exactly the same way. Our conscious minds might have a difficult time accepting that like oxygen, we do not have to create money, find it, discover it, work for it or pay for it. It is also essential to life functioning and functioning well. It was here before we arrived via our birth and it will be here after we leave our physical bodies. The way in which we receive money is also not our responsibility in that our subconscious minds are already programmed to cause our bodies to regulate when and how much money we take in and give out without even having to give it a second thought.
Is this difficult for you to get your mind around?

Probably.
Why? Because we have been told, taught, programmed, lectured to regarding the fact that “money doesn’t grow on trees, it is not free, it needs to be created, earned, found, and worked really hard for!”
Our parents did not tell us this about oxygen or breathing because our parents knew from their experience that it was simply provided for us, no questions asked. We have an abundance of oxygen each and every day – never do we have to worry or fret about it – never have we been taught to worry or fret about it.
Imagine if this were true of money.
What if we had never been taught to worry or fret about it and we had known from the time we were born that it would be provided to us?

The only difference between those of us in abundance and those in lack is this belief. Whenever a person begins to choose to believe that money, like oxygen is their birth-right simply because they were born and given the exact same opportunities as any other human, they begin to allow and receive money easily, no questions asked.

Unfortunately, most of us – especially those of us who had parents or grandparents who grew up during the depression – were taught that money was lacking and that if we wanted to have any, we better work hard, save it, sometimes hoard it, and certainly not waste it on frivolous or fun things. This very belief is the very thing that has caused most of us to be lacking money at some point in our lives.
If we had been taught from birth that oxygen was not free and we had to work for it, we would most certainly be focusing on our breath, making sure we were breathing all the time and working hard at keeping ourselves alive. However, the entire time, our Divine Intelligence is more than happy to provide it for us, but because we insist on doing it for ourselves, It lets us.

We wouldn’t be able to do much else of course, but that’s okay, because at least we’d be alive.
Fortunately for us, our parents were not born into a world where oxygen was scarce or hard to find – one day, if we keep up with the consumeristic rat-race of producing things and having pollution as the by-product, our children or grandchildren may very well end up in a society that teaches just that: “For heaven’s sake, don’t waste oxygen by running around or playing or having fun – there’s barely enough to go around!”
This is what we’ve been directly or indirectly taught about money.
Let me ask you something: Why on earth would our loving Universal Intelligence be utterly generous when it comes to oxygen and the life-creating substance and then turn around and be stingy in other areas of our lives? It doesn’t make sense.

The Universal Intelligence does not waver in its abundance of the things we need and desire on this earth – it simply responds to our belief systems as an individual and a society. If we believe that money is hard to find; it will be. If we believe that we have to work really, really hard to earn it; it will let us do just that.
So how do we return to what we knew as babies – that everything we needed would be provided for us?
When we took our first breath we knew instantly what it was to have the life-giving gift of breath and we often take it for granted. The first thing we need to do is become aware of our breathing and demonstrate our gratitude for it – for oxygen and the ability to receive it.
30 second Breathing Exercise that could change your life:
Step # 1:  Take a deep breath in and as you breath, say: “Thank you for oxygen!” and when you exhale say: “Thank you for my ability to breathe!”

Step # 2: On the next breath, say: “Thank you for money (you can insert the word of your choice – prosperity, financial freedom, success, love)!” and when you exhale say: “Thank you my ability to receive it!”

Do this as many times as you can or become aware of your breath during the day!
Even if you are sceptical; even if you do not believe a word you’ve read, practice this exercise for 30 seconds whenever you can today and in the next few days. What have you got to lose?
What you have to gain is a great exercise in breathing which always relaxes us, slows our heart rate and sends endorphins throughout our entire system and perhaps, just like oxygen is always provided and in abundance, your financial health may begin to increase as well!

Next Post:  Financial Freedom:  Counting Our Blessings from 1-100

Financial Freedom: The GOOD news about your BAD situation! Part 1 of 5 Series

The GOOD news about your BAD situation! 

Are you in a state of discomfort in your life?  Have you been there for an extended period of time?  This could include a state of illness, debt, poverty, frustration, lack of love, failure – whatever it is, what you know for sure from your experience is that you have had enough and you want something better for yourself and your life!

This is the SECRET as to WHY we need to suffer in our lives – not because God or the Universe wants us to suffer; but because the Divine Intelligence of the Universe knows that until we are really uncomfortable with our circumstances, we will rarely – or never – desire or take action to move out of our comfort zone to better ourselves and our lives.

Ester and Jerry Hicks describe this phenomenon in their book, The Astonishing Power of Emotions in these words: “…you often see things (in your life) that you do not want.  And each time that occurs, a clarification of what you do wants erupts within you.  Occasionally the experience is so dramatic that you could clearly state, “I don’t want that! And I now understand what I want instead is…”

The Hicks go on to explain this phenomenon and its brilliance, in this manner:

“And so, whether you are consciously aware of your new expanded desire or not, desire is born out of the contrast you are living…for during that process of knowing what you do not want, the clear, expanded idea of what you prefer instead is born and your Inner Being (or the Source within you) turns its undivided attention to that new expanded idea!…The contrast that you would be living stimulates new ideas of improvement and expansion within you…the broader non-physical part of you would embrace the new ideas fully and would literally become their vibrational equivalent.”

It is this vibrational equivalent that we – or our Inner Beings – are always seeking because it knows that like attracts like.  If we are functioning on a vibrational level of poverty; our beliefs, thinking and actions will continue to create and attract more poverty.  If we undergo an experience like the one described above, we will begin to shift our beliefs, our thoughts and our actions – because we are really uncomfortable in our situation; ultimately shifting our entire vibrational energy to match what it is we do want – wealth, prosperity and success – and then ultimately begin to attract it.

Essentially, while we are comfortable in our way of thinking and acting we are not very inspired to change or become the better, more expanded version of ourselves that our Divine Intelligence knows we can be.  We literally have to experience the discomfort – and usually for an extended period of time – in order to want something new and better – a better us – a better life – in order to actually attract it and achieve it.

Disclaimer: Not all people who experience suffering or discomfort expand and go onto a higher vibrational level of success.  Some of us have to experience the same discomfort or pain a few times in our lives in order to overcome it and move beyond it.  Some never do overcome it, as they become victims to their suffering and continue all their lives to tell themselves and others the same old story of their lives.  In order to benefit from this particular secret of life we must be willing to change and we must have enough desire for a transformed existence of ourselves.

The good news is that once we make up our mind to change,  a miraculous thing begins to happen – the Universe begins to put people, ideas, books and all kinds of resources in our path to facilitate this growth.  I have seen this time and again in my life. I will be guided to go into a particular bookstore  or I will already be somewhere and I will be prompted to begin looking for something – it is usually just a quiet impression on my spirit.  Or, as what happened recently, on the way home after my car had a gas leak, I ended up walking beside a gentleman who is a manager of a spiritual store in my neighbourhood and we had a wonderful discussion about life, spirituality and making the most of bad situations.  Interestingly enough, just recently I made up my mind to explore my spirituality more, step out and make new friends and to make the best of any adversity – big or small – in my life.  Lo and behold, my car breaking down allowed me to do all three of these things at once!

What obstacles do you find yourself perpetually going up against?  What situation have you been struggling with for so long that you are SO ready to be free of?  This is your area of growth.  You cannot become greater in any area in your life – until like the Universe – you are willing to allow yourself to expand.

The irony is that we can only allow the very things we want by giving up the struggle – stop focusing on the negative or the lack in our lives.  Once we focus on the things we already have – and feel gratitude for them – then we will be going with the flow of abundance and be able to attract and allow what it is we desire.

Next Post:  How Gratitude leads to a New Attitude about Everything!

 

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Speak Your Truth – Part 8 of 10 Series

Yoda would definitely encourage us to speak our truth….gently!

How many of us are afraid to speak our truth? Do we even know what our truth is?

Speaking our truth essentially means to express freely what we feel to be the best, healthiest and truest decision for ourselves regarding any and every situation with which we are faced.

For example, if someone asks us to do something and we really don’t want to do it, how often do we oblige this person, do what it is they are asking and then either mentally ruminate about how much we resent it or we express our displeasure verbally or through our body language to others and perhaps to the person who has asked us for help?

How many times, when someone is late or cancels on us or disappoints us in some way, we don’t bother to say anything, but all the while, hold onto anger or resentment towards this person?

How many times, when someone does something habitually to annoy us, pressures us to do something we don’t want to do, guilts us into doing something (the list goes on and on) do we keep quiet, but secretly become angry at this person or talk about them to others?

This is what happens when we are not speaking our truth; when we are not being true to our own needs, desires and preferences and care more about what people think of us than caring for ourselves.

Are there times when we need to sacrifice ourselves – our time, money, energy for the good of others?  Absolutely.  However, the problem is when we do it all of the time – we become chronic people pleasers and swallow our feelings of resentment and this almost always manifests itself in illness or gaining weight, eventually.

What are the signs we are not being true to ourselves and have failed to speak our truth?

1.  We feel angry, resentful or dread when we are about to do something.

2.  We are in a state of mental monkey mind – this is when we are going over and over what we would LIKE to say to this person, but we never actually verbalize it.

3.  When we find ourselves talking either about the person who has disappointed us in the form of gossip or complaining – or we are continually talking about how we have to do such and such for so and so and how unfair or what a pain it is.

4.  We develop colds, sore throats, toothaches – any illness to do with the throat or mouth is usually a red flag that we do not feel free to express ourselves and we are holding “infectious words” within us, instead of verbalizing them to others.

5.  We become gossips or are forever talking ABOUT someone rather than TO them.

6.  Our relationships begin to lack honesty or depth.

7.  We disempower ourselves and therefore feel weak or angry with ourselves.

8.  Eating disorders can develop – this is especially true of bulimia.  We literally “swallow” all of the unhealthy words or thoughts from others or ourselves and then regurgitate them back out in anger.

9.  Others sense our anger or resentment and avoid having social interactions with us.

10.  We actually create more separation from our Authentic Self and soon become almost deaf to our own needs and desires.

What does it mean to speak our truth?

It is when what we think, speak and act is in alignment with each other.  If we say yes to something, we make peace about it mentally and we do it.  If we say no to something, we mentally let ourselves off the hook – we do not allow guilt to develop and we stick to our “no” in our actions.  An example of this is when we begin dating and we tell our partner that we are not comfortable becoming intimate with them until three months have passed.  Then we speak and act according to what we have told the person.  If we sleep with them the next week (which of course all of us have gone back on what we’ve told someone at some point in our lives) we disempower ourselves and we never feel completely trustworthy in our own word – and neither will that other person.  My belief is, if you don’t think you can do it, then don’t say it!

Related Links:

Speak Your Truth http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Speak-Your-Truth_2

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: You Don’t Have to Like Your Family! Part 7 of 10

Does your family make you want to pull your hair out?

Well, you’re in good company.  I have rarely talked to anyone who hasn’t, at one time or another, been frustrated with their family members.

Wayne Dyer says this about family: 

“Friends are God‘s way of making up for our families.”

How many of us have spent a lifetime trying to understand, get along with, make peace with, be understood by or simply communicate with our families to no avail?  How many us have been disappointed, hurt, frustrated, or completely exasperated with one family member or another?

Take it from me – I do understand. I am the youngest of seven siblings – and almost ten years younger than the ones next to me in age.  Essentially, I had the experience of growing up in a large family; and also as an only child.  With numerous personalities within one family, there will always be issues, disputes, and fights; sometimes knock-down, drag-out fights!

However, we need to look at our families differently; this has helped me a great deal.  It wasn’t until I realized that my family was less about people with whom I had to get along, have understand me or be extremely close to and much more about the spiritual and emotional work I have to do on this earth – in this physical journey.

In essence, we need to stop looking at our family members as people who should (there’s that word again – see my post on “Forget your Shoulds!”) be a certain way or understand us or be there for us.  Our family members are this:  Spiritual Bumper Cars.

Essentially, we are stuck in a perpetual game with them for this lifetime. 

Have you ever noticed the big poles to which bumper cars are attached?  There is a steering wheel within these small, colourful cars, but who are we kidding – we aren’t in control of those damn cars – not even our own!   We go along steering, trying in vain to either hit into the others or avoid them, and all the while, we really have no control at all – nor can we remove our car from the game.

Hence, this is how we need to think of our family members – especially if there is dissonance between us and them.  When we arrive on this earth, we have no control in which family we are born or what personalities the rest of them will have.  We spend almost our entire lives in this Bumper Car game with them – sometimes managing to move around them; sometimes bumping into them and having a good laugh and sometimes, we get hurt when we bump into them too hard or vice versa.

What’s the good news about looking at our family members this way?

It takes the pressure off of us to have some deep, meaningful relationship (if you do, that’s wonderful – but many do not) and we can see them more objectively as the people with whom we are meant to do our spiritual and emotional work during our journey here on earth.

In fact, I believe that we are meant to bump up, crash into and even get hurt by these people we call parents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and yes, even our own children.  They are our reflections and our work.  So, now you have permission to stop longing for them to change or understand them at every moment or even having a relationship with them at all.  Of course, it is never good to hold on to grudges or resentment – this poison only hurts us – not them.  If we need to forgive them, then we must do this for us – not them.

However, the next time you visit or spend time with your family members and you can view them as if in a game with a bunch of bumper cars around you, it may take a little pressure off and even be a little more fun during the experience.

If only when they bump into us and shake us to our core, could we laugh like we do in a game of good old bumpers cars!

Next Post:  10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You – Speak Your Truth! Part 8 of 10

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Forget Your Shoulds! Part 6 of 10 Series

“You SHOULD!”

How many times have we shaken our fingers at ourselves about something we should have done, should be doing, or should do soon?  We are often “shoulding” ourselves about something; and this is not surprising as most of us could not count how many times we have been told in our past about something we should do.  We have heard it from our parents, adults, teachers, authority figures, siblings, peers in the past and perhaps even now; and more often, from ourselves.  We are carrying on a tradition that others began inside of our minds and we should stop!  Okay, this is the one should you can listen to!

For example, how many us are able to accomplish our New year’s resolutions?  Most of us are not successful because we often try to change things that are so well-established not only as a habit and part of our life-style,  but in the neuro-pathways of our mind.

One exercise that I completed in my four years of training to be a psycho-therapist was extremely helpful in  helping me begin to make changes – albeit small changes at first – in my life and getting rid of my shoulds and turning them into accomplishments.

Many of us have a long list of shoulds:

I should go to the gym

I should go on a diet

I should be more patient

I should travel more

I should save my money for travel

I should save more!  Work more!  Work less!

…and the list goes on.

For some reason, the word “should” continues to resonate in our minds as a non-committal, sit-on-the-fence mentality that rarely ever brings about action, let alone change.   Hence, we continue to tell ourselves that we should do this or we should do that; and we almost never get around to it.

The exercise to change this kind of mentality is very simple – and yet it works.  It entails making a list of our shoulds.  Then, after reading it through, we need to decide whether we WILL or we WON’T take the action.  After we decide, we need to literally cross out the word “should” and write above it (or below it) the words “I will” or “I won’t”.  For example, if you have on your list, “I should eat less” cross out the should and write what you’ve decided to do:  I will eat less or I won’t eat less.

After you’ve finished “correcting” your list, then tuck it away somewhere and leave it for a month or two months – however long you can wait.  I did this for one month and when I returned to my list – I could barely remember what I had written on it – I had accomplished all but one of the things that I had previously, so many times said I should do.

For some reason, our brain is able to make connections to our commitment to take action and either consciously or subconsciously, we begin to make small – and sometimes big – changes in our lives.  What can an exercise like this one hurt?  Perhaps, if you return to your list and you still have things to change, you can redo the list and re-commit.  I know for me, this was the beginning of changing my entire language around accomplishing anything.

For example, another non-committal word is trying.  “Trying is lying” to ourselves.  As long as we are in the should stage or the trying stage, we do not accomplish the things we want.  Instead of saying, “I should work out three times per week,” say, “I will or I am working out three times per week.”  Instead of saying, “I’m trying to change” simply say, “I am changing ________ about my life” or “I will change _________ in my life.”  Period.  We wouldn’t want a non-committal reply from people we are relying on, so why do we accept it from ourselves?

Next Post:  10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You:  You Don’t Have to Like Your Family!  Part 7 of 10

10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You: Go Have Fun! – Part 4 of 10

What do these children have to teach you?             Everything! 

One of my favourite exercises that allows us to not only get in touch with our inner child and understand who they are; but also allows us to reconnect with ourselves as adults and understand who we REALLy are, is taking the time to do two things:

1.  Find a picture of yourself (that you really like) when you were a child; enlarge it, frame it and put it somewhere you can see it every day!

2.  Communicate with this child on an on-going basis – everyday, if possible.

Finding the photo should be the easy part.

How do we go about communicating with our inner child and why should we even bother? 

The child that we once were, in its innocence and youth was the true core of who we were meant to be as adults.  Along the way, with school, peers, parents, teachers, authority figures telling us who we were and who we ought to be – we began to lose our connection with our inner child.  However, that child hasn’t gone anywhere!

He/She is within us, waiting for us to come out and play, if you will.    Similar to the Holiday Song, Frosty the Snowman, when he says, “Now don’t you cry, I’ll be back again some day!” we have said to our inner child.  However, how many of us have ever bothered to return to our inner child and went out and played with full abandonment?

We are like Frosty – no one believes that as adults we should dance and sing and play and be silly like children, but I’m here to tell you that we love this story because it is just that –  unbelievable and silly!

Have a look at the photos above of these young children.  What do you imagine would be their message to us as adults?  I encourage you to sit down as soon as possible and write a letter (or just a question or two) to your inner child and ask it what it would tell you about yourself:

1.  What qualities did you possess as a child?

2.  What did you love to do?

3.  What did you dream of becoming?

4.  What advice does he/she have for you about some situation in your life that you are at a loss about?

5.  What recommendation does he/she have for you in order to have more fun, joy and laughter in your life?

I have done this exercise and it works.  Just like John Lennon says, “There will be an Answer” if you take the time to talk and listen to your inner – Authentic Self, today! To get you into a more playful, open state, watch the video below!  It’s fun!

Frosty the Snowman (video and lyrics)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGDi8TqqeX8

Next Post:  The 5th Thing Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You!

L.O.V.E: Is All You Need – Part 1 of Top 10 Series

Was John Lennon right?  Is love all we need?  I was reading my New Year‘s Horoscope on the subway on January 1st while returning home from an awesome New Year’s Eve party at the Bata  Shoe Museum downtown Toronto.  My horoscope said that this year would be a year of great personal growth and it ended with this statement:  “you have an important message to share with the world and that is – love is, was and will always be the answer to every question.”

On reflection, I think this is the message, deep at my core that I know to be true.  I spent some time reflecting back on the choices that I made this year and it is evident that where I put love into the equation things generally worked out for the best for me.  Where I lacked love and instead added frustration and stubbornness to a problem; it became worse.

My example is this:  I own a house in which I was renting to a family that intended to purchase it at the end of the lease.  This family fell on hard times.  However, the woman was very stubborn, hard to deal with and often paid her rent late even when things were going well for them.  After the six bounced cheques (and after I returned from a vacation where a close friend had deceived me and took money from me for a place that I never actually stayed at) I returned home to Canada ready to fight.

While I had been “loving” and understanding for the previous year and half, I had as they say, “lost that loving feeling” and I was ready to evict these irresponsible, non-paying tenants.  Now in terms of justice, I was well within my rights and everyone I spoke to about the situation said, “Oh, evict them!  Get rid of them!”.  However, deep inside my core, I knew that fighting with this woman was not the answer.  I knew how stubborn and belligerent she was as I suspect that’s all she had known most of her life – and knew no other way of dealing with the world and those around her.  Hence, she was well-practiced at fighting back.  Though it had been difficult I had, for a year and half, approached her with understanding and love and while she never seemed to appreciate it very much, she did always eventually pay her rent and come around. However, after a year and half of dealing with her, I was tired of being so loving and understanding.

This time, when I chose to fight her – she dug in her heels and fought back and somehow, as the justice system always seems to – it failed me.  I was stuck with this family in my home for nine months (yes, NINE months) without paying me a dime.  It was a delayed eviction because she had lost her job and was a single mother (funny enough her husband was there to help her move!).  In any case, it did not turn out for the best for me, financially, emotionally or mentally.

I specifically remember the day of the court date.  I was staying in a local hotel as the tribunal was in another city and I felt compelled to read the bible – most hotels leave one in the bedside table.  I was not looking for any specific scripture but I will never forget to what page I just happened to open the bible.  It was the scripture, Timothy 2 Verse 2-3, “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.  And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel, instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.  Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth and they will come to their senses.”

I believe the overall message that God or the Universe was sending me that day was instead of fighting with my tenant, I should have treated her with love and in some way, instead of threatening her with eviction (even though I was legally entitled to do so) I should have found some other resolution.  Do I believe the Universe wanted me to get taken advantage of and “turn the other cheek?”  No.  I believe that our Divine Creator has great wisdom and he/she knew exactly what kind of person my tenant was and how she would react to me beginning a quarrel with her and that I would most likely lose, which I did.

How could I have responded in love instead?

I could have negotiated with her for payments or went to see her and asked her what was really going on and how I could help.  It would have required a lot of understanding and courage on my part but as it turned out, that would not have been any more difficult than watching a stranger live in my house for nine months while I paid all of her rent and utilities.  Needless to say, hindsight is twenty-twenty isn’t it?

So what do I do from here?

I learn the lesson that love probably was the answer to this problem and probably is the answer to many, if not all, questions.  Most people who are rude, disrespectful, cause us issues or we have conflicts with is because they have not had enough love in their lives.  It is very difficult to return evil with love but I am going to begin writing a few blogs on how to become more loving and approach each and every situation with love.  Here’s to 2013 being the “end of the world as we know it” regarding negativity, violence and problems and it being a “new year” of approaching every “question” with love.  Let’s face it, approaching every question with bitterness, frustration, or anger hasn’t solved anything.  Anyone ready to try a one year experiment with me and bring nothing but L.O.V.E. to this world?

Of course, first we need to understand what love is – it is not always an emotion – sometimes we may not feel any love for someone, but we can still “act” in love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gng7EBv3G2k (All you Need is Love by the Beatles)

Next Post:  Love – What is it?

F.E.A.R: False Expectations Appearing Real – How to Worry Less and Follow Your Dreams! Part 4 of Top 5 Series

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened!”  Mark Twain

Take if from a man who knows.  Mark Twain lived and wrote in a time and a place where his subject matter (racism & slavery) was not generally appreciated.  He also tried his hand at making a traditional living and then decided to quit and live his dream of being a writer, which wasn’t always easy or without its financial setbacks.  However, he persevered and is now one of the most well-loved and well-known American writers of all time.  To read more about his bio, visit: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1244.Mark_Twain

F.E.A.R:  False Expectations Appearing Real

How many of us, since our childhood have had dreams of being a writer, artist, photographer, dancer, musician or any number of creative pursuits, only to have those dreams squashed by the inevitable good intentions of a parent, teacher or authority figure with the words: “Well, you don’t want to become that!  You’ll never make a living at it!”

I wonder how many people have heard these words – or some variant of them – and how many have given up right then and there and buried those longings deep within; and how many, despite or in spite of those words, went headlong in the pursuit of their dreams just to prove that person wrong.  I don’t know about you – but I find the latter type of people – even if they weren’t all that successful – or at least not until after they were dead – much more inspiring than those who resigned themselves to a life and career that was more safe and secure.

These False Expectations – fears of what might happen – refer to the fears we have about stepping out into the canyon of our dreams.  Much like in the movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he is standing right at the edge of a huge canyon and he knows in order to get to the other side he must cross it.  However, there is no path or bridge – at least that he can see with his human eye.  He has to essentially step out first in complete faith, before the next step appears for him.

It is never easy to do this.  What if we step out and we plummet to our death?  What if we step out and fail?  This type of fear is based on false expectations – which seem very real – that we will fail.  Why do we expect to fail, however?  Where do these thoughts or beliefs come from?  We know of plenty – thousands – maybe millions – of people who have stepped out and they have succeeded – some from talent and some from sheer luck or being in the right place at the right time:   Oprah, Brittney Spears, Donald Trump – how many more?

Why do we perceive ourselves so different from these people?  They are, after all, simply human just like us.  They came into this world just like us and will leave it the same way.  Why is their journey destined to be so much more wrought with financial success or fame or living their dreams?

I am here to tell you that it is not.  One of my favourite quotations is: “Well, no one told me I couldn’t do it!  So I did it!”  The only difference between most of us longing for our lost dreams and those living them is one thing – FEAR – the false ideas and core beliefs we have about ourselves and our lives.  We tend to remain where it is comfortable and safe.

I can tell you that I have never had anything too exciting happen to me by staying comfortable or safe. Trekking off to Colombia, South America to teach when I knew no one, was not without its discomfort or danger – but I did it and it changed my entire perspective – and I wrote a book about it!  Applying and re-applying to Teacher’s College and getting rejected twice before getting my – albeit 11th hour admittance – was not comforting to my ego.  Sitting for hours and hours pouring my blood, sweat and tears into three, now almost four novels, knowing full well that I might never get published wasn’t very comfortable either.  Heading off to do missionary work for three months in a foreign country didn’t feel very safe – but the experience changed my life.  Flying to Honduras to write for a month when I barely had enough money to live – the money turned up, however – didn’t make me feel very comfortable either.  Resigning from my secure paying teaching job in a small town to brave the big city of Toronto  to teach and write where I was most happiest, wasn’t very comforting or safe – but here I am – two years later, in Toronto, writing, teaching and enjoying my life.

Is it without struggles?  No.  Have I had my faith stretched as far as it could possibly go the last few years?  Yes.  Has a job always came?  Yes.  Have I survived?  Yes.  Am I determined more than ever to be financially free to write and travel this vast world now that I have had so many caverns and canyons to cross?  Absolutely!  This is what stepping out does – either by miracle, luck or perseverance we do make it the other side – and each time, it makes us more and more fear – less!

I once read a quotation that said, “Never sit down to write, until you have the courage to stand up and live!” (Henry David Thoreau).  Hence, I am now sitting down to write – and to write with everything I have in me regarding my blog and my posts, because I have stood up and lived and I want to encourage you to do this as well.  Do I suggest quitting your job tomorrow and taking up painting?  No.  What I suggest are a few practical things:

1. Make a list of all of your False Expectations:  every fear, worry, excuse, reason as to why you shouldn’t be living your dream and why you will fail.  Then burn it, toss it, rip it up!

2.   Read Debbie Ford’s “Best Year of Your Life” and “What Colour is Your Parachute?” by Richard Nelson Bolles who states: ” Always define WHAT you want to do with your life and WHAT you have to offer to the world, in terms of your favorite talents/gifts/skills-not in terms of a job-title.”  Incidentally, he was fired from his job in 1968 and you should see what has come out of him crossing this cavern of failure to his success.  Check out his bio – well worth the read:  http://www.first30days.com/experts/richard-nelson-bolles

3.  Make a plan of what your dreams or goals are – go revisit your childhood – your inner child will tell you exactly what those dreams were.

4.  Simplify Your Life – get rid of all the things, ideas and even people (especially toxic and negative ones) that are cluttering your life and holding you back!

5.  Then put all of your energy into what you love – or all of your spare energy until things begin to start opening up for you.  Since I began this blog and really focusing on writing – and writing the things that I am most passionate about – which is everything I have learned through my education, experience, people, setbacks and successes – my writing, my creativity, my inspiration and opportunities have opened up exponentially for me.  Just today, without even asking for it, I was asked if I’d like to teach a Writer’s Craft Course, which I have been longing to do for over five years.

6.  Then figure out how your dreams will meet the needs of the world.  Service to others and making this world a better place for others while also nurturing your dreams is the best way to watch the Universe open its doors to you!

Leap of Faith (Indiana Jones)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_-BOvWVycM

Remember:  W.O.R.R.Y.    Wondering Obsessively Rarely Reaps Your…Dreams!

Next Post:  F.E.A.R:  Forgetting Everything is All Right – How to Have More Faith!