Financial Freedom: Count Your Blessings First! Part 4 of 5 Series

   Giving Thanks Creates Magic!

There isn’t anything that will put us in a good mood faster and a hopeful state of mind more than sitting down and counting the blessings we already have!

This list can never be too minute, from being thankful for having eyelashes to protect our eyes from debris to having a car to drive or a warm house to live in.
Have you ever counted your every blessing?
We probably couldn’t if we tried because the list would keep growing if we were open to being thankful for each and everything thing – big or small in our life – right down to the microscopic bacteria in our digestive track that helps our food to digest throughout the day.
Since this is TAX season, it’s a great time to take account of all the things we already have, especially if we hope to receive more financial freedom. We can be thankful for that great tax return BEFORE we receive it – and focus on the abundance in our lives NOW.
There is nothing that will ensure more blessings in our lives than counting the ones we already have!
Rhonda Byrne from her book, The Magic outlines this effectively in the following passage:
“When you use gratitude ahead of time to Have A Magical Day it wipes out unexpected problems or difficulties before they happen. The more you use this magical practice, the better your days will become, and from the smallest things to the important things, everything starts going well in your life. The bumpy days smooth out, and instead of frustrating or troublesome things happening in your day, your days start to have a magical flow about them, and things seem to magically go your way, with less effort, no worry, no stress, and far more joy.”
Universal Law of Gratitude:
The more gratitude you feel = the more joy and happiness you feel = the more joy or happiness you feel = the higher your vibrational energy = the higher your vibrational energy = the more you attract wonderful things to your life that cause you to be more grateful and more joyful. It’s as simple as that.  Follow this formula and see what happens in your life!
This LAW has been studied and scientifically proven just like the law of gravity. We do not question the law of gravity. We simply live it, by trusting that when we get out of bed in the morning our feet will “magically” stay on the ground.
When we trust the Universal Law of Gratitude when we get out of bed in the morning, by putting into practice an attitude of gratitude, we will automatically experience more things in our lives for which to be grateful.

If you started counting your blessings right now, beginning with your internal organs working well, without you having to tell them to, ending with everything and everyone you’ve ever been blessed with, I guarantee you will be sitting down for a long time.

Today, write down 100 things for which you are thankful and see if the Universe doesn’t respond and send you much, much more, including that financial freedom you have been longing for!  Want to exponentially increase this magic?  Do it every day for 40 days (the amount it takes to make it a fully ingrained habit within our subconscious)!  I have found doing it for only a few days so far, has made a vast difference in how I go about my day!
You can create a chart like the one below or you can visit Sarah Ban Breathnach’s (author of Gratitude Journal) and see her online gratitude journal:  http://www.simpleabundance.com/gratitude.html

 100 hundred (or begin with 10) things I’m grateful for right now…

Money: How to Make it Serve You! Part 1 of 5 Series

How do we make money serve us?

In order to transform our Money Consciousness we must first begin to transform our subconscious beliefs about money.

How do we do this?

We can begin by using our own thoughts, words and actions to re-program our neuro-pathways and ultimately, our beliefs about money.

#1:  Re-Programming Our Subconscious Thoughts Regarding Money:

 If we grew up with limiting beliefs about money such as;

Money doesn’t grow on trees!

People with money are stuck up!

We need only enough to get by!

We’re not meant to be wealthy!

we will continue to harbour these core beliefs and they will block or create obstacles in our lives to obtaining and keeping money.  Therefore, we need to first begin with re-programming our thoughts regarding money.  It is best to do this at the subconscious level.  There are several videos on the internet that allow us to do this easily and effortlessly – it only requires that we give 10-15 minutes per day to view and listen to high-frequency, subliminal messages regarding money.

Why subliminal messages?  Isn’t that scary?

 Yes, it can be scary to allow subliminal messages into our psyches.  However, there are many reputable sites out there that provide free, yet stimulating videos that do just that.  I always tell people to use their intuition when choosing any site, book, video or resource to transform their life.  If the video resonates with you and brings you a sense of peace or excitement, then it is probably safe to utilize.  If you are watching something that irritates you or does not resonate with you, stop watching it and search for something that does.  Below is a link to a video from www.igodmind.com that I have found to bring me peace and resonates with my subconscious.  I recommend watching it (or any video that feels right for you!) for 30 days at least; until you begin to notice that your own conscious thoughts regarding money and luck begin to change and ultimately, you will begin to see external circumstances begin to shift for you as well.

#2:  Re-programming our Words Regarding Money:

We need to be careful to not negate our work by verbalizing defeating and negative comments throughout our day, such as, “Oh, that’s just my luck!” or “I can’t afford that!” These negative statements will undo all of the work we have done in order to re-program and transform our money consciousness.  If we find ourselves thinking or saying something negative regarding money or abundance in our life, we can simply say, immediately, “I cancel, cancel, cancel this thought!” and then repeat a positive statement regarding money or abundance in our life, such as, “I am a magnet for money!”

#3: Re-Programming Our Actions Regarding Money: 

If we desire to transform our money consciousness, we must act as if we believe we are deserving of and already have abundance. How do we do this? We need to take action in order to send a very significant message to the Universe that we believe we are deserving and have a positive consciousness regarding money.  The most effective way to do this is to imagine what you would do or buy for yourself if money was no object; the other thing you can do is to imagine what symbolic item you associate with being wealthy.  For example, I associate fresh-cut flowers in a home as symbolic as a luxury and an extravagance and so I have made a habit of buying them for myself on a weekly basis in order to demonstrate to the Universe that I am deserving and can afford extravagance and luxury in my life.

Perhaps you can make a list of items that you have been holding off purchasing for yourself or you deem extravagant; choose one from your list that you will treat yourself to on a regular basis no matter what your financial circumstances.

Link:  Subliminal Messages for Money:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlw97AQyswc
Next Post:  Money: Turning the Tables and Making it Serve You!

Making Mistakes: How to Embrace Them! Part 1 of 5 Series

How many of us have made a mistake in our lives? 

Every one of us!  One of the most comforting things I have learned from studying literature that spans centuries is that I have come to understand one invaluable lesson:  whatever error or mistake we make; someone, somewhere in history has already made it already!

As part of the human race we share a number of important things:

1.  We are made of blood, muscle and bones.

2.  We feel sadness, anger, love, jealousy, joy and many other emotions.

3.  We are mortal.

4.  We are all connected.

5.  We ALL make mistakes.

Avril Lavigne sings in her song, Complicated, “Chill out, what you yellin’ for?
Lay back, it’s all been done before,” so we can comfort ourselves in the fact that whatever we do to err in this life; it’s already been done at least once – probably millions of times!

How do we deal with the fact that we are not perfect and that we do make mistakes?

1.  We need to embrace our darkness – that part of ourselves that is quite capable – if not expert – at making mistakes.

2.  We need to own up to our mistakes the best we can and be determined to learn from them; so that we do not repeat them and we are able to approach the same situation in a much better and clearer perspective next time.

3.  We need to remember that what our mistakes teach us most of all is this:  To not judge others when they make mistakes and to demonstrate compassion to others in their mistakes.

4.  We need to learn to demonstrate that same compassion for ourselves – that is the ONLY way to be more compassionate to our fellow human.

5.  We need to learn to forgive ourselves when we make a mistake and not ruminate about it – thinking about our error will indefinitely lead to more mistakes as we will not be focused on improving, but on our fear of faltering again, and therefore, we will re-create more mistakes.

Next Post:  Our Ugly Side – How to Embrace It!

 

Related Articles:

Making  Mistakes to Enhance Self-Esteem and Improve Performance http://www.excelatlife.com/articles/mistakes.htm

How to Bounce back from a Mistake: http://99u.com/tips/7089/How-To-Bounce-Back-From-A-Big-Mistake

Try Again by Aaliyah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjnbozivsEo

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Romance Your Soul! Part 10 of 10 Series

Chinese Orchid:  Teaches Us How to Love & Romance Ourselves!

“Rather than depending on insects or even the wind for pollination, scientists have discovered that the orchid Holcoglossum amesianum actually fertilizes itself. The orchid defies gravity to twist the male part of its flower into the necessary shape to fertilize the female one.  The orchid produces no scent or nectar. Instead, the pollen-bearing anther uncovers itself and rotates into a suitable position to insert into the stigma cavity, where fertilization takes place. This sexual relationship is so exclusive that flowers do not even transfer pollen to other flowers on the same plant.’ (wikipedia)

Why is it so important to love and romance ourselves?

We all know the cliché – it’s only a cliché because it’s true – that in order to love others, we must first love ourselves.  This is based on the premise that one cannot give what one does not have first.  How on earth can we share a loaf of bread with others if we first do not make sure we reach out and accept this loaf of bread for ourselves?

Buddha on loving yourself:

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.  You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

How do we Romance Our Soul?

We often find it easier to do for others the things we rarely would do for ourselves.   We buy cards on special days like Valentine’s Day for the people we love – but how often do we write or send a loving message to ourselves?

Here are some fun, practical methods to begin practicing loving yourself:

1.  Make a list of 5 – 10 things that you would do to romance someone else.  For example, you might buy them flowers, a card, make them a nice dinner, or buy them a gift certificate at their favourite store or spa.  Then make a committment to yourself to do one of these things for yourself each week for the next few weeks until you make a habit of romancing yourself.

2.  Write a love letter to yourself:  What would you say to yourself – either your inner child or you as an adult?  It may be wise to begin writing to your inner child because we often have more love and compassion for her or him than we do for our adult selves.

3.  Choose kind and compassionate words to speak to yourself during the day.  Become aware of the things that you say to yourself on a daily basis.  How many kind statements, such as “Hey _______, I’m really proud of how you handled yourself at work today,” or “Way to go on getting to the gym today!”  do you say to yourself versus how many negative things?  Attempt to catch every negative thought or statement as you think it or say it; then state: “cancel, cancel, cancel” and then replace it with a more compassionate statement to yourself.

4.  Surround yourself with beautiful things – nothing says you love and appreciate yourself like creating a living – or work – space with uplifting or colourful accents.

5. Post a positive quotation near your computer that you can look at every day.

6. Post a picture of yourself that you really like or of one where you are smiling and having fun with friends.

7. Add a plant or vase full of fresh-cut flowers in your home.

8. Buy a diffuser with lovely smelling scents – citrus or cinnamon lifts your spirit and causes the brain to release endorphins.

9. Make a call list of friends or family that you can call at a moments notice and keep it where you can see it daily – this will remind you of people you love and who love you!

10.  Dress well – nothing says you love yourself more than caring to dress yourself in clothes that you feel really good – or sexy – or attractive – each morning (depending on your work of course!)

May this Valentine’s Day, you remember to love and romance the most important person in the world – YOU!

Next Blog Series:  Forgiving Ourselves When We Make Mistakes

 

10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You: You’re Okay! Part 2 of Top 10 Series

One of the best statements I’ve ever heard – and from one of my closest friends – who is often thought of as eccentric and “different” and yet is one of the most intelligent, nicest people I know – is this:

“I’m Okay Because I Say, I‘m Okay!’

He states this because he believes – as do I – that one can get so wrapped up in all of the self-help, new-age philosophy and advice from people, resources, books, television programs,  columns etc. that we tend to live in a society where it is actually weird to say we feel “normal” or “okay” or “good” or that our life is balanced.  To feel normal and that we are actually doing “okay” just cannot be accurate.  There must be SOMETHING wrong with us, because doesn’t everyone have issues, baggage, need a therapist, need to read a self-help book?

At particular times in our lives, we may very well benefit from reading a good self-help book – I know I have – that helps us along our journey or gives us new perspective on our lives or revelation about ourselves.  However, what our Authentic Self knows and wants to tell us is this:  “______, you really are okay!  You have everything within you – the wisdom, guidance, strength, creative ideas to help yourself and lead and live a great life!”

Imagine that we were on a deserted island for a moment and there was no one to guide us or help us survive.  We have everything we need within us in order to figure it our for ourselves.  The problem isn’t that each one of us does not have this inner wisdom to tell us how we can begin to feel better, heal ourselves, think differently; it’s simply that we are too busy – or too uncomfortable to sit with ourselves long enough to listen – or talk – or journal with that inner voice and let it actually have its say.  We drown it out with our work, our errands, cleaning, running around, music, phone calls, texting, etc.

And all the while it sits within us; like the patient little buddha (or Yoda or spirit) and waits for us to enter into a conversation with it.  Sometimes we get fortunate enough to hear it anyway or the Universe sends someone to tell us the same piece of advice we should have taken from ourselves – but more often than not, we don’t listen and we end up going down a path or making a decision that is not the best choice for us; or we find ourselves in a health crisis, before we are forced to stop and listen.

Why wait?  Have you got 10 minutes?  5 minutes?  How about 30 seconds to close your eyes and begin to practice getting in touch with your inner self?  She or He would love to reconnect with you and tell you that yes, you are okay and you can be even better, healthier, happier if you will listen to  her/his advice, wisdom, guidance, creative ideas – because she/he can help you get on an even better, more efficient – and probably a lot easier – and healthier path.

I am including an exercise from one of my Post Series under,  Senses & Intuition:

Below is a 5-10 minute activity to help you connect with your Intuitive Inner Voice: (It’s fun and relaxing!)

Sit comfortably with a straight spine, yet relax the body.  Feel yourself connected to the ground as you breathe deeply through the nose. Close your eyes, inhale deeply and travel in your imagination through a little boat in your bloodstream to your 3rd eye (a point about 2.5 cm above the bridge of the nose).  Here you see a ‘House Of The Senses’.  Allow it to be as it is.  Open the door with a golden key and enter.  Have a look around.  What can you see, hear, smell?  What is beneath your feet?  Enter a room on the right and explore.  This is the Room of Sight.  If any improvements, cleaning etc. are needed here, ask your angels or guides to appear and do the work.  Make it sparkle, and set it up just the way you want it.  Then progress through each room in turn – they lead off each other, in a circle going around the house, as follows:  Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste, Touch.  Visit each room in turn, notice how it is, clean and clear it, improve as necessary,  let your guides help.

Now, you return to the centre of the house.  Ascend the stairs to the room above.  This is the room of the Sixth Sense.  Again, notice how it is, clean and clear it, ask your guides to make any needed improvements.  Now, breathe deeply in the clean fresh air, and then blow, blowing through all the doors and windows, the rooms of your senses, several times.  Then leave the house through a new door, knowing you can return any time.  Come back to the conscious world now, and notice how your senses may have changed.  Bite a crisp apple, notice the scents in the air,  hear the sounds… (This meditation is adapted from ‘The Possible Human’ by Jean Houston.)

Now watch Tom Hanks in a clip from the movie, Cast Away use his OWN wisdom and sheer determination to bust open a coconut for water!  You will also notice that it is NOT force, but ingenuity and skill that eventually helps him be successful! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEfp7um-ONk

Next Post:  The FOURTH thing your Authentic Self Has to Tell You!

F.E.A.R: Forgetting Everything is All Right – How to Have More Faith! Part 5 of Top 5 Series

“A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

F.A.I.T.H.:    Forgetting Advice and Initiating Trust & Hope

What allows us to take that first step of faith, even when fear stands there like a big bully, telling us we can’t do it?   Some people would say it’s having faith in something higher than ourselves – God or the Universe – that will make sure everything will be okay.  This may be true, but what if we don’t have this kind of faith or we have lost it because something or someone has disappointed us?

What do we fall back on to provide us with the faith we need?  It depends on how old we are of course as to how many times in our lives we can refer back to what did work out to give us the faith to persevere.  These are called Milestones of Faith.  I have had to refer back to them many times; especially when all odds are against me in terms of finding a job, getting approved for a loan or credit, selling a house, etc.

I want to share my “Debra” story with you.  This milestone story was the first that really began to change my perspective and help me to believe that though I might have been making decisions in my life, there was definitely some force – energy, love, wisdom – that was guiding my steps.

One day when I was bored –  and frustrated at not being able to land a full-time teaching job – I called the overseas placement office at my University and inquired about what I needed in order to teach overseas.  The gentleman – the placement officer – gave me a detailed lecture as to why I didn’t qualify, as one needed to have at least two years teaching experience within Canada first or one needed to apply through the job fair that happened in late winter and hope to be chosen as a successful candidate by one of the representatives from a foreign country.

I was literally hanging up the phone after thanking him for his information – albeit disheartening, when I heard him say, “Well, just a minute.  I might have something you’re interested in.  I’ve got a vacant teaching position as the girl who was supposed to go backed out at the last-minute, but it’s in Colombia, South America and they would need you to start in two weeks.  So, you’re probably not interested.”

I responded with one question: “Where is Colombia, South America?”   He proceeded to explain to me where it was located and what was expected in such a job and what was the hiring process.  I didn’t say no and I didn’t say yes.  I listened and pondered what my mother would say if I told her that her youngest daughter was going to fly to another country – another continent – and teach.  In essence, live the dream I had known I would live since I was a very little girl.

I knew that it was what I was meant to do.  Hence, I said I was willing to at least prepare to go and I did just that.  I travelled back and forth to Toronto at least twice to apply and pick up my work visa; I sold my things – at least the things I could, and I researched as much as I could about Colombia. I went to my National Geographic “Earth” book and looked up Colombia.  I had read and re-read that book so many times that I actually remembered the only visual I had of Colombia – it was of a group of tribal men carrying a huge anaconda – a dead one – through a field.  And still this did not scare me off.  I had decided too, to take my 10 week old puppy – ironically named, “Winter” with me to a tropical foreign country.

Two weeks later, I said goodbye to my boyfriend, my cat, my country and my life as I had known it and Winter and I embarked on the journey of a lifetime.  This is where my inner journey truly began – because what happened next changed my thinking and my beliefs forever.  After first being offered the position by the placement officer, he recommended that I get in touch with the Principal of the school in which I would be working in Colombia to learn more about the school, the country and make arrangements for picking me up at the airport.  I remember her words – I always will – when we were saying goodbye for the last time before my trip.  She said, “I will be at the airport with a sign with your name on it and I am bringing Debra with me.”  It seemed an odd thing to say because I had no idea who Debra was, nor would there be any reason for me to know a Debra in Colombia, South America and yet the Principal’s tone indicated that I should know.

Hence, when I stepped off of the plane, retrieved my baggage and walked out in to the arrival lobby of the airport, surrounded by men with automatic machine guns – a vision I had never before seen in Canada – I was astounded when beside the woman I assumed was my new Principal, was Debra.  A girl – the only girl I had become friends with in Canada during my year in Teacher’s college.  She was standing there smiling and I knew in an instant that I was in exactly the place I was meant to be.

This scary journey of travelling over 2000 miles to another continent where I knew no one, suddenly turned into a sacred journey of revelation for me.  I did know someone already and she – Debra – turned out to be both my colleague and my roommate for my first year in Colombia which eased all of my fear and trepidation in an instant.  I was home:  If one could call an entirely different country, culture and race, home.  I did, for three more years of my life even though the contract was originally only for 9 months.  The “Debra” story doesn’t end there, however.

Three years later – yes, I loved Colombia so much that I remained there teaching for three more years – I returned to Canada.  Debra had returned a year earlier and I had lost touch with her.  She was originally from a small town east of Toronto and so I naturally assumed she would have found a job somewhere near that area.

In any case, I spent the next eight months living on my savings and searching for a teaching job.  I waited eagerly from January until June and by the time the summer was ending, I was almost out of money with no job prospects.  However, about two days before the end of August, I applied for a job with a school west of Toronto.  My interview was at 3pm on the first day of school!  Who gets hired the first day of school? I thought to myself.

I was sitting in the interview room and the Principal said to me, “Choose a question from the board and answer it in any order that you choose.”  I chose number 7: It asked, “What is the most interesting experience you’ve had in your life?”  I began to talk about my teaching experience in Colombia and 2-3 minutes later when I brought up Debra as an aside; the Principal looked at me and said, “You don’t mean our Debra?”

I looked just as baffled as her I’m sure, and said, “well, if you mean Debra ________, yes, that’s who I am talking about.”  The Principal looked at me and she replied:  “You are never going to believe this, but we have a Debra ________ here at our school who lived and taught in Colombia for two years and she’s been working here for almost two years now.  She is transferring to another school and so her position is the one you will be taking over.”

I sat there in disbelief.  Not only did I finally have an interview, but of all the school boards and in all of the schools within that school board; and of all the positions I could be interviewing for, could it be possible that it was the Debra ________ who I had once again “followed” to the place in which I was meant to be?

In that moment, the Principal stopped the interview and called Debra down to the office from her classroom.  You can imagine her surprise when she came through the door to find me interviewing for the job she was leaving.   Needless to say, they hired me.  I think we were all in shock.  Since that day, I have never looked at my life the same way. It has given me the faith I have needed in many circumstances when it appears that there is no job, no opportunity, no door opening – I wait in expectation for that ‘new’ door to open and for a “Debra” to be standing there to greet me.

I want to encourage you today to remind yourself of your milestones.  What “Debra” story do you have in your life that you can remind yourself of when times seem hopeless?  If you don’t have a Debra story, perhaps you have something similar or a time when a job, opportunity, or door opened for you when it seemed to be shut tight.  These are the times in our lives that we must hang on to tightly.  They are as much for our future faith as they were to enhance our past experiences.

“One of the saddest lines in the world is, ‘Oh come now – be realistic.’ The best parts of this world were not fashioned by those who were realistic. They were fashioned by those who dared to look hard at their wishes and gave them horses to ride.”  Richard Nelson Bolles

If you truly want to be inspired and to remind yourself that even if you do not “see the whole staircase” watch Martin Luther King Jr.’s Famous Speech, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V57lotnKGF8  and then remember that the United States of America now has a Black President!

Next Post Series:  Ten Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You!

F.E.A.R: False Expectations Appearing Real – How to Worry Less and Follow Your Dreams! Part 4 of Top 5 Series

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened!”  Mark Twain

Take if from a man who knows.  Mark Twain lived and wrote in a time and a place where his subject matter (racism & slavery) was not generally appreciated.  He also tried his hand at making a traditional living and then decided to quit and live his dream of being a writer, which wasn’t always easy or without its financial setbacks.  However, he persevered and is now one of the most well-loved and well-known American writers of all time.  To read more about his bio, visit: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1244.Mark_Twain

F.E.A.R:  False Expectations Appearing Real

How many of us, since our childhood have had dreams of being a writer, artist, photographer, dancer, musician or any number of creative pursuits, only to have those dreams squashed by the inevitable good intentions of a parent, teacher or authority figure with the words: “Well, you don’t want to become that!  You’ll never make a living at it!”

I wonder how many people have heard these words – or some variant of them – and how many have given up right then and there and buried those longings deep within; and how many, despite or in spite of those words, went headlong in the pursuit of their dreams just to prove that person wrong.  I don’t know about you – but I find the latter type of people – even if they weren’t all that successful – or at least not until after they were dead – much more inspiring than those who resigned themselves to a life and career that was more safe and secure.

These False Expectations – fears of what might happen – refer to the fears we have about stepping out into the canyon of our dreams.  Much like in the movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he is standing right at the edge of a huge canyon and he knows in order to get to the other side he must cross it.  However, there is no path or bridge – at least that he can see with his human eye.  He has to essentially step out first in complete faith, before the next step appears for him.

It is never easy to do this.  What if we step out and we plummet to our death?  What if we step out and fail?  This type of fear is based on false expectations – which seem very real – that we will fail.  Why do we expect to fail, however?  Where do these thoughts or beliefs come from?  We know of plenty – thousands – maybe millions – of people who have stepped out and they have succeeded – some from talent and some from sheer luck or being in the right place at the right time:   Oprah, Brittney Spears, Donald Trump – how many more?

Why do we perceive ourselves so different from these people?  They are, after all, simply human just like us.  They came into this world just like us and will leave it the same way.  Why is their journey destined to be so much more wrought with financial success or fame or living their dreams?

I am here to tell you that it is not.  One of my favourite quotations is: “Well, no one told me I couldn’t do it!  So I did it!”  The only difference between most of us longing for our lost dreams and those living them is one thing – FEAR – the false ideas and core beliefs we have about ourselves and our lives.  We tend to remain where it is comfortable and safe.

I can tell you that I have never had anything too exciting happen to me by staying comfortable or safe. Trekking off to Colombia, South America to teach when I knew no one, was not without its discomfort or danger – but I did it and it changed my entire perspective – and I wrote a book about it!  Applying and re-applying to Teacher’s College and getting rejected twice before getting my – albeit 11th hour admittance – was not comforting to my ego.  Sitting for hours and hours pouring my blood, sweat and tears into three, now almost four novels, knowing full well that I might never get published wasn’t very comfortable either.  Heading off to do missionary work for three months in a foreign country didn’t feel very safe – but the experience changed my life.  Flying to Honduras to write for a month when I barely had enough money to live – the money turned up, however – didn’t make me feel very comfortable either.  Resigning from my secure paying teaching job in a small town to brave the big city of Toronto  to teach and write where I was most happiest, wasn’t very comforting or safe – but here I am – two years later, in Toronto, writing, teaching and enjoying my life.

Is it without struggles?  No.  Have I had my faith stretched as far as it could possibly go the last few years?  Yes.  Has a job always came?  Yes.  Have I survived?  Yes.  Am I determined more than ever to be financially free to write and travel this vast world now that I have had so many caverns and canyons to cross?  Absolutely!  This is what stepping out does – either by miracle, luck or perseverance we do make it the other side – and each time, it makes us more and more fear – less!

I once read a quotation that said, “Never sit down to write, until you have the courage to stand up and live!” (Henry David Thoreau).  Hence, I am now sitting down to write – and to write with everything I have in me regarding my blog and my posts, because I have stood up and lived and I want to encourage you to do this as well.  Do I suggest quitting your job tomorrow and taking up painting?  No.  What I suggest are a few practical things:

1. Make a list of all of your False Expectations:  every fear, worry, excuse, reason as to why you shouldn’t be living your dream and why you will fail.  Then burn it, toss it, rip it up!

2.   Read Debbie Ford’s “Best Year of Your Life” and “What Colour is Your Parachute?” by Richard Nelson Bolles who states: ” Always define WHAT you want to do with your life and WHAT you have to offer to the world, in terms of your favorite talents/gifts/skills-not in terms of a job-title.”  Incidentally, he was fired from his job in 1968 and you should see what has come out of him crossing this cavern of failure to his success.  Check out his bio – well worth the read:  http://www.first30days.com/experts/richard-nelson-bolles

3.  Make a plan of what your dreams or goals are – go revisit your childhood – your inner child will tell you exactly what those dreams were.

4.  Simplify Your Life – get rid of all the things, ideas and even people (especially toxic and negative ones) that are cluttering your life and holding you back!

5.  Then put all of your energy into what you love – or all of your spare energy until things begin to start opening up for you.  Since I began this blog and really focusing on writing – and writing the things that I am most passionate about – which is everything I have learned through my education, experience, people, setbacks and successes – my writing, my creativity, my inspiration and opportunities have opened up exponentially for me.  Just today, without even asking for it, I was asked if I’d like to teach a Writer’s Craft Course, which I have been longing to do for over five years.

6.  Then figure out how your dreams will meet the needs of the world.  Service to others and making this world a better place for others while also nurturing your dreams is the best way to watch the Universe open its doors to you!

Leap of Faith (Indiana Jones)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_-BOvWVycM

Remember:  W.O.R.R.Y.    Wondering Obsessively Rarely Reaps Your…Dreams!

Next Post:  F.E.A.R:  Forgetting Everything is All Right – How to Have More Faith!

F.E.A.R: Fighting Everyone And Regretting it – How to Respond – Not React! Part 3 of Top 5 Series

F.E.A.R.    Fighting Everyone and Regretting it!  (Reactionary Response)

Many of us make decisions or react out of fear in regards to a present situation because we are triggered by a memory – either consciously or subconsciously – of a past experience where we were hurt or offended in some way.

It is similar to when we have a wound or a cut that is in the process of healing; and someone comes along and bumps into us or pokes us in that exact spot.  We react involuntarily in order to protect ourselves.  Have you ever had someone say or do something to you and you react before you even realize what you are doing and you think to yourself, ‘why did that upset me so much?’  Sometimes we are aware of why we had such a reaction; and sometimes we just know that we are really hurt or really angry.

Many times, we have emotional wounds that were never addressed – usually from our childhood as we were not in a place to speak up for ourselves; nor was it safe to cry or get angry and so we either buried these hurts or these wounds scabbed over and left an indelible mark, but we do not think we carry this pain anymore because the scab has made that area numb to any more pain.

However, when it comes to emotional pain, it will continue to be triggered over and over again until we are able to face it and overcome it.  This is why we often attract similar people or situations to our lives; our subconscious is aware of the underlying hurt and it wants to be free of it and therefore sends out vibrational messages to the universe about the pain and inevitably attracts to us the very instances we need in order to finally heal.

An example:  If we had a parent who was emotionally neglectful and we are carrying pain from this – of feeling rejected – we will continue to attract the same kind of relationships to ourselves.  This is why there is so much advice to always look within in and not without.  In essence, it is not the other person we need to change – it is ourselves.  I mention this phenomenon in greater detail in my other posts under the topic, forgiveness. 

My experience is that I attracted this kind of relationship last spring – I was frustrated and angry because I had been hurt and deceived by a good friend and refusing to deal with that pain, lo and behold, I later attracted an another individual to my life who was also frustrated and angry towards people and towards me.

In many ways, he said things to me that I was feeling towards my friend and towards myself for having been foolish enough to trust this friend. It wasn’t until I was willing to revisit the original hurt that I not only was able to forgive my friend but also had the strength to extricate myself from this new unhealthy relationship.  Thank goodness, because I am more open now to attracting and meeting someone who is healthy and loving.

What happened in the meantime however, is that hanging on to that original pain and anger since last January, I inevitably continued to attract more and more frustrating situations and people to my life.  I was bombarded in 2012 with situations that led me to be hurt, frustrated and taken advantage of.  I became reactionary to these events, instead of being able to respond in a healthy manner.  These people with whom I was angry went on with their lives; I however, found myself stuck in this perpetual well of frustration.

However, the good news is that one day in the early fall, I awoke – my subconscious I suppose shook me awake – and I was able to become free of this pattern.  How did I do it?  I have discussed in many of my posts that there is a process to getting past painful experiences and finally being free of them.  Here is a simplistic outline of this process that I have found works for me:

1.  Sit down and ask yourself when this issue began:  You may get an answer that it was in your childhood, or like me, I knew it was about a year ago.

2.  Face your true feelings:  I had to admit that I was hurt and angry with my friend.

3.  Express these feelings honestly:  I wrote an email to this person (always DRAFT your email – which is not reacting, but responding) outlining what I perceived happened and how really hurt and disappointed I was.  I would normally simply draft it, read it a few times and then delete it.  This time, however, I sent it to the person.  I would highly recommend that you write the email or letter and then wait for a few days before sending it.  You may find that simply writing it and expressing your true feelings is enough.  Sometimes, simply reading it and re-reading it and validating your own feelings can be sufficient.  If however, you feel that you need the other person to know of your hurt; or you genuinely feel this person could benefit from hearing the truth, then it will be up to you whether you choose to send it or not.  If it is a boss or employer where it could put your job or career in jeopardy, I would highly recommend you don’t send it – especially from a reactionary standpoint.  Get a second opinion – have a friend or a colleague (that you REALLY know you can trust)  read it over and ask them what they would recommend.

4.  Forgiveness:  Like most of us, I don’t always feel like forgiving; but we do this for OURSELVES, not for the other person.  The adage, “bitterness is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die” is so true.  We cannot hang onto bitterness as it only poisons ourselves; meanwhile the other person goes merrily on their way.

5.  Visualization Technique:  One way that I achieve forgiveness is through visualizaton.  I imagine a lake with a dock and a boat – the size of the boat varies depending on how angry I am at the person.  I imagine that this person (or situation) is sitting in the boat.  Now, sometimes, if I am really angry, I get in the boat and I pummel this person until there is nothing left of him/her except a little pebble.  Sound awful?  Well, I encourage you to do this if you have that much anger – remember, this is only a visualization technique and cannot hurt the other person; but it a safe way for you to express all of the frustration, anger or disappointment you are carrying.  You can also punch pillows on your bed if that seems less aggressive.

However, lying to ourselves, trying to pretend we aren’t that angry, does not do us any good.  Let’s get good and honest with ourselves.  Sometimes, I am able to simply untie the boat and send it on its merry way with that person in it (I don’t always give them paddles!).  The last time I used this technique, I simply got in the boat, picked up the pebble (what was left of this person) and threw it into the lake and I kept the boat!   There have even been times, that no matter how much I expressed my anger or beat them into a little pebble, I was still not able to push off the boat and let them “go”.

Hence, I have asked Jesus (insert Buddha or whomever you associate with a stronger ability to love) to push the boat off for me.  This may seem silly to you; but I know it has worked for me.  You have to find what works for you – you may visualize something entirely different.  However, I do believe there is something very powerful about actually visualizing the “letting go” or “sending off” or “freeing of” this particular person or situation.  In essence, we are letting off the hook for hurting us.  Another wonderful way to get to the heart of the matter and be truly free from triggers is to use E.F.T. Emotional Freedom Technique.  I have discussed this technique in my other posts and I highly recommend that you read more about it or watch a video on it on the internet to learn more about it!

Step # 6:  Rejoice – be thankful for the lessons or the revelation that this person taught you and then rejoice that you are free to move on with your life – free of the trigger and now free to attract more healthy situations to your life.  We can learn just as much from a healthy, wonderful person or relationship as we can from a negative one!

How can you be sure you have really let it go?

The next time someone similar comes into your life, you will find yourself much less attracted or  not wanting to spend time with this person; or you may simply respond to what they say or do in a more healthy manner.  Sometimes, you may have to go back again and revisit the hurt – I have had to go back to the boat and go a few more rounds with some people!   In any case, you will notice when you begin to respond and not react to similar situations.  You can pat yourself on the back and know that this particular trigger is no longer causing you the same internal F.E.A.R.

Remember:  “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Next Post:  F.E.A.R:   False Expectations Appearing Real – How to Not Worry So Much!

Sensory Stimulation – Stops Aging & Makes Us Smarter! – Part 5 of Top 5 Series

Activation of the left cerebral hemisphere during sensory stimulation.

Sensory Stimulation Therapy

It turns out that stimulating our senses isn’t just beneficial for getting more in touch with our bodies and being in the present moment – it has been scientifically proven to slow the aging process, reprogram positive neuro-pathways in our brain (making us smarter by helping us think faster) and it can actually be very healing for children with autism and elderly people who have suffered from strokes or dementia.

What is sensory stimulation?

“The answer is that stimulating the senses can have a positive effect on learning as well as emotional and social growth in a child. Sensory stimulation in learning means having activities that challenge or make use of the five senses. These senses, touch, taste, smell, listening, and visual, must be included in one’s learning. Schools incorporate sensory stimulation in their curriculum from the basics of math and reading to special classes such as art or extracurricular activities such as sports. The same is true for children with special needs. For example, as more children become diagnosed with autism, more teachers are needed to educate them. Thus, it is good to see celebrities such as the telethon on comedy central held on October 15, 2006, that featured well-known comedians as well as other notable figures to help fund the building of a center to educate teachers who are specialized in teaching autistic children.

Sensory stimulation also affects the emotional and social growth of a child. Sensory affectional deprivation syndrome (link to this page) illustrates the importance of maternal affection. When moms (and dads) cuddle, sway, sing, or rock their babies and children, they are helping that child feel the emotional needs required for healthy growth.”

(http://www.autismindex.com/Therapies/Therapy_Key_Word_Site_Map/sensory/what_is_sensory_stimulation.html)

There are a lot of websites with a lot of information about the healing aspects of sensory stimulation as well as stores and places one can visit that are specifically geared to stimulating our senses.  How fun is that?

However, if you feel like making your own fun and stimulating your own senses, read the list below!  Enjoy!

Next Blog Series:   Fear – When it’s a gift – When it’s a curse! 

List of Sensory Stimulators:   (http://www.activitytherapy.com/sensorystimulation.htm)

Vision

Pretty Wrapping Paper & Florescent Papers

Animals such as Birds, Bird Feeders, Fish Tanks

Bubble Tubes

Colored Lights, Strings of Lights, Christmas Lights

Light Box

Rattles, Tambourines

Mirrors

Flashing lights & Strobe Lights

Wind Up Animals

Mobiles that are age appropriate

Wind Socks & Wind Chimes

Activity Boxes, Easy to Watch Videos

Relaxation Videos

Taste

Peanut Butter, Licorice

Jelly, Spices, Honey

Chocolate, Peppermint

Nutella (located with Peanut Butter)

Tea, Coffee, Milk Shakes, Sodas

Strong Smelling Soups

Yogurt, Ice cream, Ice Chips Flavored

Lifesavers, Pickles, Horseradish

Smell

Lavender and other oils. Use an Electric Aroma Fan

Pot Pouri, Sachets

Perfumes, Powders, Lotions

Sun Tan Lotions (Coconut)

Candles, Incense, Aromatherapy

Bath Oils, Bubble Baths, Bath Soaps

Spices

Powders, Talcum Powders, Pillows with Powders inside

Flowers, Shrubs with Scents, Flowering Trees

Bakery, Candle Shop, Candy Shop

Pet Shop, Fruit Stand

Licorice

Hearing / Sound

Water Sounds, Fountains, Bubbling Brooks, Sound of Waves

Faucet turned on, Waterfall

Washing Machine, Dishwasher

Music, Bag Pipers, Concerts

Wind Chimes

Ticking Clocks, Metronomes, Coco Clocks

Music Boxes, Whistles

Instruments- Maracas, Pianos, Tambourines, Rattles, Chimes, Electric Key Boards, Pianos, Drums

Touch

Fake Fur, Soft Ear Muffs

Pets, Horses, Cows

Outside-Leaves, Tree Bark, Roses

Snow, Sand, Shells, Sea Weed

Hard Items-Rocks, Tree Bark, Fences

Soft Items-Clay, Dirt, Play Dough

Cotton, Sheepskin, Feathers,

Pastas, Cereals, Spaghetti

Large Beads, Jewelry, Gaskets

Pat Mats, Activity Aprons & Activity Pillows

Body Pillows, Textured Fabrics

Massage, Silk Materials

Dryer vibration, blow dryers, washing machines

Movement

Swings, Slides

Hammocks

Trampoline

Sleigh Riding

Horseback Riding

Rolling Down Hill

Merry Go Rounds

Our Senses – How We Perceive Our World – Part 2 of Top 5 Series

What do you see? 

A young lady or an old woman?

Sensory Perception is defined as:

The conscious recognition and interpretation of sensory stimuli that serve as a basis for understanding, learning, and knowing or for motivating a particular action or reaction. (www.freedictionary.com)

Sensory Perception is an interesting phrase – mostly because we trust that what our senses tell us is truth – but our perception is essentially based on what we think we are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling and it is not necessarily the reality of the situation.

Hence, it is called sensory perception –  meaning that we are only able to make conclusions based on what our senses discern, depending on what our past experiences have been.  Of course, the problem with this is that sometimes we have had many negative experiences and we tend to perceive many new experiences in the same manner.

For example,  if while the majority of society is taught that something is “blue” –  we are told that this same colour is called “red” and no one tells us differently, every time we see what is society-approved as blue, we will inevitably call it red; causing our experience to be different and setting us apart from others.  This difference in perception and in cultural teaching is what often leads to cultures and races being unable to truly understand or agree with each other.  How many ideas, beliefs and opinions cause conflict among people because they believe their belief to be absolute truth.

Much of what we learn regarding our senses is based on what our society or culture teaches us to be “our truth”.  Of course, there are things across humanity, such as “hot” that our bodies respond to instinctually – when our sense of touch sends a message to our brain that something is hot and could harm us – we automatically release or remove it from our hands.

Similarly,  when we hear something that we perceive as negative or we might consider harmful to us emotionally, we also tend – or have learned to – react automatically – and not always in the most positive manner.  This is metaphorically referred to as our “blind spot” – that part of us that is not able to see the situation clearly; and therefore, is not able to respond in a positive or healthy manner.

While it would be very difficult – although not impossible – to reprogram our brains to not respond to hot substances, it is absolutely possible to re-program our minds (and heal our hearts) about certain incidents in the past and therefore, learn to respond positively instead of react negatively to external stimuli that we perceive as harmful.  Check out the Perception Test below and see how your perception rates!

Related Articles & Activities:

Take the Perception Test (Can you Spot a Fake Smile?) – Fun!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/

Physical limitations of our 5 senses (ie: blind spot):

http://io9.com/5926643/10-fundamental-limits-to-human-perception-++-and-how-they-shape-your-world

Next Blog:  Our Senses – Are we connected with them?