Tag Archive | E.F.T.

Financial Freedom: Gratitude is the Secret Ingredient in the Recipe for Success! Part 2 of 5 Series

Recipe for Success black scroll

Gratitude is the #1 – and most readily available – ingredient in the recipe for Success!  It is the biggest investment we can make in hoping to reap the dividends of life!

If you can think, speak or write – you can be grateful!  Gratitude is like the baking powder in most baking recipes.  It is the easiest and best way to make any form of bread, pastry or dessert rise and EXPAND and become bigger than its original size.  Hence, gratitude in its purest form – being truly thankful for the things that already exist in our lives – even if it’s the last dollar we have – is the most effective ingredient in the recipe for expansion of our success!

For example: 

If we have a job; appreciate it even more for all those right now looking for work.

If we have our health; rejoice in it for all those who do not.

If we have food on the table each day; give thanks before we eat it  and remember all those who are hungry.

If we have a friend, tell them regularly how grateful we are that they are in our lives – for all of the people who are alone in this world.

My father used to say to me, “when you feel down, never look up – look down.  There is surely someone who has less than you and would be glad to be in your shoes.”

There are many activities we can do today to help us to feel more grateful about our lives; and you know the wonderful thing about being grateful?  It helps us to feel so much better about our lives and often can lift us out of our blue mood – and this expansion of feeling and vibrational energy – not action – is what attracts more and more wonderful things.  Like attracts like.  When we send out gratitude vibrations, there is an energy that vibrates at a level that automatically brings more things for which to be grateful.

What are some Gratitude Attitude Activities?

I saw this on the Facebook page “Feel Good” and thought it was a wonderful idea:

# 1.

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#2.  Gratitude Journal:   Each day in your journal or you can purchase “Simple Abundance Gratitude Journal” by Sara Ban Breathnach which actually has each day already prepared for you to write the top 5 things for which you are grateful.  If not, then grab a piece of paper and begin writing today either when you wake up or when you go to bed about the 5 things you are grateful for that day.   Sara’s website:  http://www.simpleabundance.com/gratitude_journal.html

3.  Gratitude Affirmations: These are from my Blog # 3 “Gratitude Brings Changes in Attitude” for more reflection and information about gratitude.

Some simple gratitude affirmations are:

I am thankful for being me.

I am thankful for my loving pets.

I am thankful for the abundance I already have in my life.

I am thankful for the meal I had tonight.a

I am grateful for the job I have.

One thing that is very important if we are attempting to manifest new or better things in our lives, in terms of love, friendships, places to live, a car, or just about anything we desire, we must never grumble or be negative about what we already have.

A sure way to make sure that the Universe never provides us with a new car is to grumble about the one we have or complain about the home we have now, if we are searching for a new place to live.  We must find the beauty in what we possess now and begin to sit calmly in that attitude of gratitude.  

Gratitude is the one ingredient, if you decide to include it in your recipe for life and success, that requires you to really not do much else in terms of action in your life to bring about change.  If you begin to express gratitude and an opportunity comes your way, by all means, take action.  However, one does not need to strive, force or plow one’s way to success.  Gratitude, just like baking powder, will cause the expansion of what we already have to rise and become something bigger and grander! 

4.  Looking for Beauty:  Today, either while you drive to work, at work or in your home or community, make it your mission to look around and see the beauty in something and take a minute to be thankful for it.  It may be the beauty in the sunrise, a picture, a poster, a person, yourself in the mirror, a mother holding the hand of a child, or a flock of birds overhead.  Then make it a daily habit to see as much beauty in the world as possible.  Elizabeth Taylor‘s mother, while she was pregnant with Elizabeth made a habit of looking at beautiful things each and every day and often would gaze at lavender Violas and always claimed that was why Elizabeth was born with eyes the colour of lavender (bluish purple).

5.  Watch Gratitude Videos:  There are many gratitude videos on the internet – while some include affirmations of being grateful and then include manifesting statements, I chose one that simply had reminders of why it is important to be grateful in our lives – even in the times of setbacks.  It is easy to be grateful when things are good and when we are manifesting what we desire – true growth in life, however, requires us to feel this way even when nothing seems to be happening.  Maintaining gratitude will help us to sustain our faith in these times.

6.  Reflection:  At the end of each day, while you lay in bed, reflect on and choose ONE thing that you are most thankful for during the day and say “thank you, thank you, thank you” before you close your eyes for that ONE thing.  You will most likely awaken to a new day with many more things for which to be thankful.  How?  Because the Universe hears your gratitude and responds by expanding it while you sleep! 

Next Post:  Financial Freedom:  The next ingredient is breathing! 

Depression – Part 1 of Top 5 Series – Lifting Ourselves Out of It

depression imagehappiness on coast

Depression is defined as:

1.  Severe despondency and dejection, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.2.  A condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.However, Depression Doesn’t Exist!    

Now that I have your attention and possibly your anger, please, keep reading!

For anyone who experiences depression or has come through it, the feelings associated with it are very real.  However, one of the most valuable lessons I learned from my four years of Gestalt Psycho-therapy training was that depression in and of itself does not exist – it is a mental and physiological response to one of two things:  repressed anger or repressed sadness.

Think of it as holding a ball full of air underneath the water.  Everyone knows that it is difficult to do because the displaced air within the ball forces it to ascend upwards and we have to forcefully hold it to keep it under the water. When we do eventually let it go; it flies out of the water upwards proportionately to how deep we were holding it under.

This is very similar to what happens when we are holding anger or sadness within us – it wants to come up and be expressed – but we may not want to see it on the surface.  The problem with this is, the more we repress our anger or sadness, the less we can actually feel joy or happiness.  This is why it is crucial that we allow our anger and sadness to come to the surface so that our hands – and our entire being – is open to experience the joy and happiness life has to offer as well.

The fact that depression in most cases is a result of holding on to negative feelings – and negative energy – is very good news.  While depression feels like a heavy weight upon our shoulders or quicksand that we feel powerless to become free from – anger and sadness are simply emotions that have been trapped within our bodies in response to an experience – and we can be free of them, which in turn will eventually help lift the feelings associated with our depression.

How do we do this?   

I am certainly not going to advise for or against anti-depressants; but  sometimes they can be a TEMPORARY solution to severe depression until we can process and deal with the sadness or anger in which we are holding.  Times in my life that I have experienced depression I did not take drugs and I was able to work through it and come out the other side and that is what I want to share with you today.   The truth is there is no quick fix to dealing with depression.  If one is in this state, even affirmations and trying to lift our vibrational energy may not work – although they cannot hurt either!

Step # 1We need to first identify what emotion is causing the depression – is it anger or is it sadness?  And very often, even behind our anger lies sadness or disappointment over something that has happened to us.  For example, if someone has said or did something very hurtful to us, we are likely to have felt sadness but masked it with anger very quickly in order to deal with it and ‘feel stronger’.  Often we mask our sadness with anger in order to have the strength to stand up to or say goodbye to a particular person or situation in our lives.  How many times have we thought we originally felt anger towards someone and then a few days later, realize that we are actually sad about what happened?

Step # 2:  What are we feeling sad or angry about? The problem with trying to discover what and why we are feeling what we are is that many times by the time our bodies have gone into a depressed state, the actual original hurt or event has long since passed.  It may even have been something in our childhood originally and has been triggered again by something in our adult lives.

So how on earth do we get to the heart of the issue and figure out how and why we are feeling this way?  It isn’t easy. This is the step at which most people feel the most resistance – especially if the hurt did originate – and most do – in our childhood.  We have buried it so deeply and so strategically in order to not have had to deal with it – usually because we were too young to do so or simply not equipped – that there are a few layers that we have to peel away first.  It is necessary that we realize this is a process – and that is what I want to stress here – growth and healing of any kind is a process.  When we cut our finger, our bodies have a wonderful – some would even say miraculous – ability to heal the wound.  This does not happen overnight however; but we can apply ointments that expedite the process.  This is where therapeutic modalities come in – they can include anything from journaling, talking with a friend, talking with a trained psychologist, E.F.T (Emotional Freedom Technique which I will be writing about in a later blog as part of this 5 part series), Reiki, Acupuncture and many more.  You need to discover which one works best for you. In the meantime, I will share with you some practical techniques you can do in the privacy of your own home.

Step # 3:  Writing to Heal 

I have done this several times and I cannot stress enough how powerful – and effective – a technique it is to get at the heart of many of our repressed emotions and physical ailments.  What we do is actually journal with the Depression – almost as if it is a person – or the physical issue – directly.  Why not give it a try? If it doesn’t work then you haven’t lost anything; if it does, I would love to hear back from you as to how it helped.

Dear Depression: 

You have taken over my body, slowed me down, made me feel lethargic and really awful some days.  You must be doing this for a reason.  Please, what is it that you are trying to tell me?  What real emotions are you trying to hold onto for me?  I know you are not my enemy.  I know that you are attempting to protect me from my real emotions.  Please help me to figure out what these are.

Take a few seconds and then respond from the Depression’s point of view – in other words, give it a voice.

Dear (Your Name):

Here is where you allow – freely and without judgement – your Depression (and you do not have to be severely depressed at all, you may just simply feel down or not so great) tell you what is really going on with you.  You may be surprised by what it tells you or it may make a lot of sense.  The trick is to allow it a voice.

This is the same for ailments in the body – another manifestation of repressed hurts, emotions or beliefs that have surfaced in a physical form. Please refer to my Blog # 17:  A Disclaimer about Hemorrhoids and other Annoying Manifestations about this very thing.  It does not matter if this is a small annoyance such as a hemorrhoid or if it is cancer.  Our bodies are the mediator between our core inner self – our subconscious – and our minds.  They are constantly giving us messages. When our leg falls asleep and we begin to feel pins and needles, our body is communicating to us that we need to move and stop cutting off the blood supply to our extremities.  Why does it do this?  To protect us.  Why do our bodies develop “dis – ease”?  Because we are “out” of “ease” with our true selves and our bodies want to return to homeostasis and ease again – and it will help us do this if we are willing to give it a voice.

Dear Hemorrhoid/ Dear Cancer:  Again, allow yourself to be really honest about how you are feeling towards it.  Maybe you hate your cancer or your disease.  Tell it that.  It can handle it because it is in your body to tell you something as well.  Then let it.

Give your depression, anger, sadness and your pain – whether it be emotional or physical, a VOICE today.  Let it communicate to you in plain language what it has been trying to tell you silently.  Once you “hear” it – you may well be on your way to recovery and freedom.

Below is a website that delineates the Myths and Facts regarding Depression:   

http://www.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-depression-myths

Next Post:  Depression – Top 5 Experts/Techniques Series – Deepak Chopra  

 

Forgiveness – Letting go and Beginning Again – Part 3 of Top 5 Series

It is never easy when a door closes – whether we are the one who closes it or it is closed for us; mostly because it entails saying goodbye to something or someone in our lives that no longer serves us but we have become attached to. It does not seem to matter if it has been good for us or not.  We often have a difficult time letting go of things – things that haven’t brought us that much happiness, including an abusive relationship, bad habits or even negative emotions such as unforgiveness or bitterness.

However, the one wonderful thing about this time of year – when one is ending and a new one is just around the corner, is that we seem to want – even if it isn’t any easier – to actually let things go. In fact, we tend to almost look forward to saying goodbye to things and begin anew.  We want to let go of bad eating habits, not-so-great spending methods, extra weight, even a not-so-great relationship or in some cases, an entire year that was not at all what we had hoped for or expected.

Whatever it is that we are saying goodbye to this year, it is important to remember that once we let go of anything, our hands are free to accept and receive many other, wonderful things.   The problem is that we often perceive our open hands (or hurting heart) as signifying emptiness and we do not like this feeling very much.

Hence, we hang on to the closed-door while there is a perfectly lovely one we can walk through if we allow ourselves to do so.  So why do we struggle so much in letting go of that closed-door as illustrated in the picture above?  Understanding why we become so attached to things is crucial in being able to finally let go and put ourselves in a position to accept the new.

# 1.  Understanding our Need for Attachment:    It is very similar to a dog with his bone.  My dog Jack is enthralled with his bone that I bring home and give him – so much so that if I try to take it away from him, even if it is to give him a new bone, he fights me tooth and nail – literally.  Why?  Well, Jack’s ancestors knew that scrap bones were hard to come by – dogs got fed last and if they were lucky they were thrown a bone once in a while.  They never knew when their next bone was going to come.  Hence, they would often go find a secluded location, dig a hole and bury the bone in order to ensure that it was never taken from them.  The irony of this is that they didn’t allow themselves to really enjoy the bone in the moment and would sometimes even forget where they buried it; hence, preventing themselves from enjoying the very thing they were trying desperately to protect.

We may laugh at this example and yet, as humans, are we so different?  How many of us receive a new toy, piece of jewellery or even a wonderful smelling candle or any kind of item and instead of wearing it or using it in the present moment, we place it somewhere safe and think, “One day soon, I will bring that out and enjoy it”.   I am guilty of this myself when it comes to even simple things such as candles and bath gel.  Whenever I receive these types of gifts, instead of allowing myself to enjoy them, I will often stash them away thinking that one day when I have time to myself to have a leisurely bath, I will dig them out and enjoy them.  What most often happens is I find them a year later while I’m hiding my new stash of candles or I will find myself burning these wonderfully smelling candles when guests come over.  Why is it that we will allow ourselves to enjoy things for the benefit of other people but often sacrifice ourselves?

#2.  Identifying Things We Need to Let Go Of:  The second most important thing we need to do is to identify the things and perhaps relationships that are no longer serving us.  We need to sit down and make a list (yes, I am encouraging you to do this today – what better day than the last day of a past year?) of the things that we would like to get rid of and the things that we would rather not let go of, but know they are not healthy for us nor are they truly making us happy or serving us.  It could be a list of very important things like a relationship or simple things such as old clothes or items that we have been holding on to thinking that one day we might use them.  Begin your list and see what comes up – you may be surprised.

#3.  Negative Attachment:  Ask yourself: What is this negative attachment really doing for me? Chances are that rather than making you feel safe and joyful, you are feeling tired, anxious, unhappy about yourself and unable really to live a full life. While you may want control, this habit is making you totally out of control and making you live in hardship rather than peace. You may want love, but this relationship is making you feel unloved and if you are honest with yourself, you know it won’t change.  (Practical and Spiritual Tips for Letting Go of Unhealthy Attachments by )

#4.  Discovering Yourself in the Process:  Everything we hang on to serves us in some way.  For example, we even hang on to “stories of our lives”  which are evident when we hear ourselves say, “Oh that’s the story of my life!” or “That’s just my luck!”  or “Why does this keep happening to me?”  I wish I could tell you that you just have bad luck or these are random things that happen to you; but the truth is we create everything and everyone if our lives; so that if we have something  or someone in our lives that we find less than desirable, we have attracted them for one of two reasons.
Number 1.

We have the same need/issue/emotion within ourselves.  For example, every time I would go out dancing with my girlfriends, I seemed to attract really annoying people – the kind of guys who would grind next to me, bump into me and hit on me even though I wasn’t interested in them at all.  I used to say, “I am a freak magnet”.  And guess what?  I kept attracting them!  When I began to realize the emotion that was evoked within me – mostly frustration and sometimes anger, I began to realize that something within me was frustrated and angry.  I was perhaps still angry at an old ex but because I was no longer able to express this anger to him, I continued to attract guys I could become angry at in order to work out this unresolved feeling.

The problem with this subconscious method of working emotions out is just that – it is in our subconscious and we are truly not aware of what we are doing.  Hence, we continue the same thing over and over.  The most empowering thing we can do for ourselves when we realize we are experiencing the “same story” or “experience” over and over, is to look within (not without at this annoying person or situation) and ask ourselves, “Okay, what is the emotion that keeps coming up for me?” and then ask ourselves this, “who am I still mad at in my past?”

Number 2:

The second reason we continue to experience similar stories in our lives is that believe and speak what I spoke out: “I am a freak magnet”. As long as I believe that many guys are freaks and I am a magnet for them, I will continue to attract them. The interesting thing is that I stopped speaking this “story” over my life, worked out my anger and rarely do I ever get approached by these types of people. If I do, I recognize, “oops, I still must have a little residual anger or frustration going on within me” and begin (once I’m home from having my fun dancing of course) to work on getting it up and out of my body! How do we do this?

#5.  Unresolved Emotions:  Okay, great!  We’ve discovered feelings from the past that are still creating the same stories for us today, but how do we let go of them?  There are several, practical ways one can actually release stuck emotions and finally be free of them.  We have to find the method that is right for us but I am going to list the top five methods that I have found to work well and fairly quickly (remember that we cannot jump over, go around or evade our feelings – we must plow through them – it is the ONLY way to be truly free of them).

#1.   Reiki.  Find a reiki practitioner (one referred to you by a close friend or colleague is usually good) who can help us, not so much through talking, but through energy work in our bodies by getting to the heart of the stuck emotions and releasing them in a safe, effective manner. Many reiki masters will encourage us to do a little talking so they can get a sense of where and what we are holding onto emotions, but unlike traditional therapists, most of the work done is through energy work in our bodies.  As long as we only “talk” about our emotions, we remain in our heads.  We need to get in touch with our bodies.

#2.  E.F.T.  This stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is tapping on a series of pressure points (much like acupuncture) on our upper body (head and collarbone) while saying a series of statements that are true for us regarding our emotions and then beginning to state what we want to see and feel in our lives. I will not go into a lot of detail here about E.F.T. but I have used it (you can visit E.F.T. practitioners in your community) and the great thing about it is that it is one of the easiest methods in which you can help yourself move through stuck emotions and be free.  Although you may feel silly doing it the first or second time, believe me, you will get over this resistance once you see and feel how beneficial and easy it is. There are many reputable people who can teach you and demonstrate the technique on the internet.  I have found many on YouTube that can walk you through the technique working out any number of issues.

# 3.  Exercise:  Any kind of movement whether it is traditional exercise, yoga, using a punching bag (really great for anger issues as you visualize the person or think about the situation that has angered you) or even dancing can help us to move and release stuck emotions.  Again, you have to do some research or experiment and discover what is the best form of exercise for you.  Even walking while expressing your true emotions can be powerful.  Sometimes, I walk and punch my arms out in front of me while saying to the person I am angry at, the things that I would have liked to say to their face.  The most important thing is to first be honest about your feelings and then express them.

#4.  Forgiveness:  Once you have identified the emotions and expressed them, we must be willing (not necessarily able in the moment) to forgive and let go of this person or story in our lives.  This is why I highly recommend one uses techniques such as Reiki or E.F.T. because even though we can “talk” through an issue; sometimes anger, hurt and bitterness is deeply ingrained in our bodies and these techniques will focus on our body, not just our head and our thoughts.

Unfortunately, many times, we cannot reason our way to forgiveness and letting go – we must first go straight through the emotion.  If you believe in God or a higher power such as the Divine Universe, sometimes a simple statement such as, “Please God/Universe/Divine Creator help me to forgive this person as I cannot do it on my own.  Show me or put in front of me ways in which I can reach forgiveness.”  There is something very powerful in the WILLINGNESS to forgive that helps us along the journey.  Do not worry about the “how” as something greater than ourselves, when “it” hears that we are simply WILLING to forgive and move on, will move heaven and earth to help us do this even if it’s just putting in our path a person or situation that will help us – just be open to seeing that person or situation when it appears for you as it WILL appear!

#5: Beginning Anew:  Once we have done our “work” or “exercises” to work through our emotions, the best part – the most exciting part is to begin to see all of the open doors around us.  In fact, many doors will have been open the whole time except that because we were so stuck in our old emotions – holding on to that handle of the closed-door so tightly – that we were unable to see the other open doors around us.  Begin to imagine what those doors would look like and what sign would be on them such as “New Friendships”  “New Loving Relationship” a “New Job” “New Insight” “New Invitations and opportunities for Fun”.

Whatever it is we are looking for is always right there waiting for us – we just can’t always see them which makes letting go of that closed-door so frightening.  What if there is no one else to hang out with?  What if we never meet anyone else?  What if no one else will love us?  What if that new job never comes?  and so on.  The best way to reassure ourselves that these “new doors” will open is to remind ourselves of how many doors we have already closed – or have been closed for us over the span of our lifetime and how many new doors have always opened.  The best way to see our future is to let go of the past, but we can always use it as a GPS to get where we are going and to not repeat the same stories and end up in the same location.

Now, close your eyes and see whatever doors you have been holding onto, for whatever reason finally closing.  Then, turn yourself around in your mind’s eye and imagine all the new doors that are opening for you and allow yourself to put your hands out and receive whatever they have for you.  As Adele says in her famous song, “Throw your soul through every open door”!   What a great way to live!

Happy “New” Year and blessings as you begin to forget about all those old bones that you’ve finally buried and begin to get excited about all the new ones that will be given to you.  The thing to remember is that if I, as Jack’s master, would never take away one of his old chewed bones if my intent wasn’t to give him a brand new, whole one to chew on (as I am always looking out for his best interest and I am only human), than how much more is our God/Universe/Divine Creator who is Divine Love, looking out for us?  However,  just as our Divine Creator wants to endow us with the new, he/she cannot until, like Jack, we are willing to let go of that nasty old bone!  : )