Tag Archive | Human

Making Mistakes: How to Embrace Them! Part 1 of 5 Series

beaut from a  dark room
How many of us have made a mistake in our lives? 

Every one of us!  One of the most comforting things I have learned from studying literature that spans centuries is that I have come to understand one invaluable lesson:  whatever error or mistake we make; someone, somewhere in history has already made it already!

As part of the human race we share a number of important things:

1.  We are made of blood, muscle and bones.

2.  We feel sadness, anger, love, jealousy, joy and many other emotions.

3.  We are mortal.

4.  We are all connected.

5.  We ALL make mistakes.

Avril Lavigne sings in her song, Complicated, “Chill out, what you yellin’ for?
Lay back, it’s all been done before,” so we can comfort ourselves in the fact that whatever we do to err in this life; it’s already been done at least once – probably millions of times!

How do we deal with the fact that we are not perfect and that we do make mistakes?

1.  We need to embrace our darkness – that part of ourselves that is quite capable – if not expert – at making mistakes.

2.  We need to own up to our mistakes the best we can and be determined to learn from them; so that we do not repeat them and we are able to approach the same situation in a much better and clearer perspective next time.

3.  We need to remember that what our mistakes teach us most of all is this:  To not judge others when they make mistakes and to demonstrate compassion to others in their mistakes.

4.  We need to learn to demonstrate that same compassion for ourselves – that is the ONLY way to be more compassionate to our fellow human.

5.  We need to learn to forgive ourselves when we make a mistake and not ruminate about it – thinking about our error will indefinitely lead to more mistakes as we will not be focused on improving, but on our fear of faltering again, and therefore, we will re-create more mistakes.

Next Post:  Our Ugly Side – How to Embrace It!

 you have the power

Related Articles:

Making  Mistakes to Enhance Self-Esteem and Improve Performance http://www.excelatlife.com/articles/mistakes.htm

How to Bounce back from a Mistake: http://99u.com/tips/7089/How-To-Bounce-Back-From-A-Big-Mistake

Try Again by Aaliyah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjnbozivsEo

Prosperity: Manifesting Our Divine Inheritance! Part 1 of 5 Series

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What is our Divine Inheritance Exactly?

Affirmations are a very important aspect of manifesting the things in which we desire.  However, as I have previously mentioned, more important is the level of vibrational energy we think, say or intend along with our affirmations and this is directly related to how deeply we believe that it is our divine right to deserve our divine inheritance.

As human beings that were created, born and brought forth into the light – by our very nature and existence – it speaks volumes that we are an integral part of creation and therefore we are divinely appointed to be here on earth and to receive our inheritance from our Divine Creator.  No father or creator wants to deny his/her creation its inheritance.  In fact, even as limited human beings; we long to leave a legacy and inheritance for our children.  Our Divine Creator wishes the same for us.

We sometimes have a difficult time creating or accepting this inheritance because at the core of us we do not truly believe we deserve it.   Hence, before we begin to work on manifesting prosperity or this inheritance, we need to begin with affirmations such as “I love and accept myself” because we need to first love ourselves in order to feel that we deserve the things in which we desire.

Louise Hay states that “if we felt this way already, we would not have to do the affirmation; so therefore, we say it UNTIL we (or our subconscious) believes it” and then it will begin to ring true for us and subsequently begin to manifest the things in which we want to see and experience in our lives.

I have been affirming that I am open and receptive to new and creative ways to achieve the things that I wish to manifest and today, while I was exercising  – exercising is another great way to lift our vibrational energy by the way – a very specific idea and way of affirming things in my life,  suddenly came to me.

One of the most important aspects of being able to create, manifest and attract the things we desire is being able to truly believe we deserve those things and this can really only come through loving ourselves.  I speak of this in one of my earlier posts about doing mirror work and repeating mantras while we look into our own eyes, such as “I love and accept myself” and “I am deserving of all wonderful things” which definitely has to be the beginning of this process.

If we do not love ourselves or believe we deserve the very things we are asking for; then our subconscious retains those blocking beliefs and cannot allow wonderful things to enter our lives.   One of the ways to begin to believe that we are deserving of love and good things is to recognize that within all of us dwells a spirit that in its essence is divine, perfect, loving and deserving of all things.

This spirit is directly connected and one with our Divine Creator and Intelligence that helps us to manifest the things we desire. Hence, the breakthrough I had this morning was to transcend my physical being – looking in the mirror (while I was working out) and really looking into my eyes and seeing past my physical body into the spirit essence of myself.  I began to recite these words that resonated with my spirit and therefore felt very true to me.  I began to recite very simple mantras and then continued to expand on them until I had a whole repertoire that I plan on using for the next month.

They are:

I am love as my Divine Creator is love. I am joy as  my Divine Creator is joy. I am forgiving as my Divine Creator is forgiving. I am prosperous as my Divine Creator is prosperous. I have access and deserve all abundance of the Universe as my Divine Creator has access to all abundance. I am patient as my Divine Creator is patient. I am calm as my Divine Creator is calm. I am wealthy and abundant and have everything I need and desire as my Divine Creator is wealthy and abundant and has everything he/she needs and desires. I am worthy and deserving of all wonderful things in the Universe as my Divine Creator is worthy and deserving. I am allowing and accepting all good things into my life as my Divine Creator is allowing and accepting and longing to provide for me all good things.

This form of affirmation truly resonates with my spirit because I realize that at the core of me, my genetic and cellular make-up begins with the same essence as my Divine Creator who is the best of everything and possesses all of these wonderful qualities and thereby, I do also.   I especially feel it is helpful in those moments when I lose my joy or calm or patience to affirm these types of affirmations and remember that yes, in my own power perhaps it is difficult to remain in these peaceful states, but that my spirit that is infinitely connected to the Divine Creator is always in this perfect state.

It is only my physical mind or body that is reacting to external stimuli, thus producing thoughts that produce negative emotions or responses; but inside, all the while my spirit within me is waiting for me listen to its calm and reassuring voice.  Therefore, in essence, we have the power at every given moment, if we can remind ourselves (and this can only come from practice) that we have the peaceful state of love, joy, calm and forgiveness right at our fingertips within us.

Our spirit who is the exact image of the Divine Creator is dwelling within us to overcome the negative reactions of our human state. I am including a wonderful link from YouTube that I found today as well.  I found it very calming, meditative and a wonderful tool to remind me of this connection between myself and my Divine Creator and it definitely lifted my vibrational energy to a wonderful level thus inviting new creative ideas about these affirmations.

I am going to listen (and watch) it every day for a month…and I invite you to do the same and hopefully together we will be able to report back in a month how many wonderful things have been manifested in our lives.  And remember, rejoice in even the small things – the parking spot at the mall that you just happened to get or the five dollar discount you got at the store or even a coffee bought by someone else.

Namaste – May peace be with you as you go about your day!  : )

YouTube link:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmwlH-3L1Zg

Next Post:  Prosperity:  How to Attract It!  Part 2 of 5 Series

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Accept Yourself – the Good, the Bad & the Ugly! Part 9 of 10 Series

Woman hugging herself

What does it mean to really accept yourself?

It means to be very truthful and clear about not only your best qualities; but also your worst and still love, respect and appreciate yourself!

The adage, “the more we resist, the more it persists” is absolutely true when it comes to the sides of ourselves that we really do not want to accept.  Hence, the more we try to suppress them, hide them, avoid facing them or avoid admitting them, the more we are destined to manifest them in ourselves and in our lives.

For example, many of us identify certain character traits within ourselves that we see in our parents and as soon as we become remotely aware that we may be like our parents (what we perceive to be the not-so-great-side), we so badly do not want to become them that we resist and deny these attributes.  Hence, that’s where many of us end up – acting just like one or both of our parents.

For example, if one of our parents was unfaithful in their marriage, drank too much or was abusive, we often swear to ourselves that we will NEVER be like this.  Ironically, this very issue will creep up on us and we will find ourselves in the same predicament in our own relationships – or we will attract a partner who acts out these behaviours.

It may not happen at first; but eventually it will.  This is often called a “mid-life” crisis – it is essentially that time in our lives when we can no longer suppress the feelings or judgements that we had in our childhood about these behaviours of our parents and they resurface in order to be worked out.

My advice is to work on these emotions now – to learn to accept that as part of the human species, we are capable of being unfaithful, an alcoholic, or abusive and to focus on the feelings and judgements – justified or not – we have around these types of behaviours.  As long as we are judging our parents or hanging on to unforgiveness for what they did to our family life or to us, we will inevitably follow in their footsteps or attract similar situations to our lives.

The other adage, “we don’t like in others what we don’t like in ourselves” is true as well.  Every time we critique or have a judgement about another human being, it is always wise to ask these questions:

1.  How are we like this person?

2.  How are we ______(insert characteristic here)?

3.  When have we ever ____________?

We will soon discover that at some time in our lives, we too have demonstrated this same behaviour as the very person we are judging.  Why?  Because we are human and if we share one inexplicable quality it is this:  the ability to make mistakes and not be perfect!

I highly recommend reading Debbie Ford‘s book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” which details how, in our pursuit to be perfect, better than others, not have any “negative” characteristics, we chase after the light – the positive side and all the while try to hide the fact that we have a dark side.  Consequently, this dark side continues to resurface within us and our lives and it is an un-ending treadmill we put ourselves on.  Her book also offers exercises on how to learn to accept all sides of ourselves – the good, the bad and the ugly.

Debbie Ford says this about getting to a point of really accepting and loving ourselves: 

“I think I would tell everybody that you have the right to love all of who you are.  The dark and the light. The good and the bad. The human and the divine. The weak and the strong. The meanness and the kindness.  The selfish and the selfless. That is why we are here. That’s real love. That’s learning to love. We’re here to learn to love all of  who we are. When we love all of who we are, we love all of who everyone else is. It’s easy to love yourself when you wake up  feeling good and you have enough money and enough health and all the things we look for. But is that even love? Our job is that stretch.  How do I love myself when I’m broke, or how do I love myself when I feel insignificant, or insecure, or angry? That is our birthright.  That’s when we return to wholeness. It is really the hardest thing a human can do – is to love all of one’s self.”

Here’s to celebrating ourselves – the good, the bad and the ugly!  Hopefully, after all is said and done and we have truly embraced the fact that we are NOT perfect, we can actually laugh at ourselves.  When we can forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and our mistakes and get back up and try again, we know that we have synthesized our dark side with our light and it will be much easier for us to shine from a truly authentic part of ourselves.

It will also allow us to be less critical and judgemental of others.  Let’s be honest, we never really feel good for very long when we judge others.  When we can accept others, warts and all – we know then that we have truly learned to accept ourselves too!

Link to Debbie Ford’s website and book: 

http://store.debbieford.com/product_info.php?products_id=9

Next Post:  10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You:  Romance Yourself!  Part 10 of 10 Series…

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Forget Your Shoulds! Part 6 of 10 Series

progressisimpossiblewithoutchange

angry girl pointing her fingerangry guy pointing his finger“You SHOULD!”

How many times have we shaken our fingers at ourselves about something we should have done, should be doing, or should do soon?  We are often “shoulding” ourselves about something; and this is not surprising as most of us could not count how many times we have been told in our past about something we should do.  We have heard it from our parents, adults, teachers, authority figures, siblings, peers in the past and perhaps even now; and more often, from ourselves.  We are carrying on a tradition that others began inside of our minds and we should stop!  Okay, this is the one should you can listen to!

For example, how many us are able to accomplish our New year’s resolutions?  Most of us are not successful because we often try to change things that are so well-established not only as a habit and part of our life-style,  but in the neuro-pathways of our mind.

One exercise that I completed in my four years of training to be a psycho-therapist was extremely helpful in  helping me begin to make changes – albeit small changes at first – in my life and getting rid of my shoulds and turning them into accomplishments.

Many of us have a long list of shoulds:

I should go to the gym

I should go on a diet

I should be more patient

I should travel more

I should save my money for travel

I should save more!  Work more!  Work less!

…and the list goes on.

For some reason, the word “should” continues to resonate in our minds as a non-committal, sit-on-the-fence mentality that rarely ever brings about action, let alone change.   Hence, we continue to tell ourselves that we should do this or we should do that; and we almost never get around to it.

The exercise to change this kind of mentality is very simple – and yet it works.  It entails making a list of our shoulds.  Then, after reading it through, we need to decide whether we WILL or we WON’T take the action.  After we decide, we need to literally cross out the word “should” and write above it (or below it) the words “I will” or “I won’t”.  For example, if you have on your list, “I should eat less” cross out the should and write what you’ve decided to do:  I will eat less or I won’t eat less.

After you’ve finished “correcting” your list, then tuck it away somewhere and leave it for a month or two months – however long you can wait.  I did this for one month and when I returned to my list – I could barely remember what I had written on it – I had accomplished all but one of the things that I had previously, so many times said I should do.

For some reason, our brain is able to make connections to our commitment to take action and either consciously or subconsciously, we begin to make small – and sometimes big – changes in our lives.  What can an exercise like this one hurt?  Perhaps, if you return to your list and you still have things to change, you can redo the list and re-commit.  I know for me, this was the beginning of changing my entire language around accomplishing anything.

For example, another non-committal word is trying.  “Trying is lying” to ourselves.  As long as we are in the should stage or the trying stage, we do not accomplish the things we want.  Instead of saying, “I should work out three times per week,” say, “I will or I am working out three times per week.”  Instead of saying, “I’m trying to change” simply say, “I am changing ________ about my life” or “I will change _________ in my life.”  Period.  We wouldn’t want a non-committal reply from people we are relying on, so why do we accept it from ourselves?

Next Post:  10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You:  You Don’t Have to Like Your Family!  Part 7 of 10

10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You – The Naked Truth About Yourself! Part 5 of 10 Series

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The 5th Thing Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You:

You are NOT your house, job, car, money or possessions!

I want you to imagine for a moment that you are just you.  Imagine that you are sitting on the bench above and you have no job, no career, no family, no clothes, no car, no possessions and you have to rely simply on who you as a person.  Now ask yourself these questions:

1.  Who am I? What qualities or attributes do I possess within me that make me who I am?

2.  How do I use my possessions to tell myself, my family and the world who I am? Can I live with myself without all of these “things” representing me?

I am going to preface this post with saying that there is nothing wrong with being blessed and having a home, job, career, car – even two or three cars, a family, lovely clothes and lots of possessions.  We are entitled to our divine inheritance as is everyone on this planet.

However, there is something wrong with tying our whole identity as a human being – the organic, molecular structure and the spirit within us – to a series or collection of physical inorganic, man-made items that we call “ours”.  Why?  Only because we get so tied up and stressed out with the purpose of obtaining – and then maintaining and sustaining – these things that we forget our own self-worth – who we truly are without these things.

I am convinced this is why many people who become wealthy or famous or politically successful fall into the temptation of corruption – it’s because they forget who they are at the core – they’ve lost sight of their inner self that has integrity and honesty – in the pursuit of fame, fortune and prestige.  The rest of us who live moderately successful lives also do this – perhaps not on the same scale, but we forget or resent spending time with our families because work is more important; we don’t take care of our own health because we are too busy running around to actually run.

What good are any of these things, if we are lying in bed with a disease caused from the stress of obtaining and keeping these things or we have lost our families because of our negligence?

It all comes down to this:

Net Worth vs. Personal Currency:

Have we put our “Net Worth” before our own Personal Currency – what we are worth as a human being?   I am here to tell you that your net worth is not – and never will be – worth more than your own personal currency which consists of your character, your spirit, your ideas and the love you have to offer to your fellow human beings.

We can easily lose our jobs, houses, cars, family and all of our possessions; but the real tragedy is when we lose ourselves – our humanity, our integrity, our kindness, our patience towards others and our own families.  So today, go sit on a park bench during your lunch and take inventory. If this bench was your home, could you live with yourself?

Next Post:  The 6th Thing Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You!