Tag Archive | subconscious

You are the Architect of Your Life!

Dream House Dream house 2

You ARE the architect of your own life!

It’s interesting that we know for a fact that BEFORE every house in this entire world  comes into existence, it is only a  THOUGHT or an IMAGE in someone’s  mind first!  This is true whether it be a shack, ranch-style or beach house, mansion or castle.

Then why do we, when we know that everything that has ever been built or created was once just a thought in a person’s mind – how do we doubt that we can create anything in our own lives?

If you have an image of your life or your dream house or your ideal car  – the very fact that this desire is in you, means that it wants to be expressed in the physical form.

This is why inventors, like the Wright brothers who imagined an object that could fly were able to ultimately express their idea  in the physical form; and look at what has manifested from their idea in the last 100 years!

There are laws of manifesting that we need to remember:

1.  All Space is FILLED with a Creative power – it is amenable to suggestion and as you think it and say it, you’ve placed it in the Universe and it will come into manifestation.  It’s like a mold – what you pour in, is exactly what you’ll get back!

2.  The Past is the Past: Nothing you’ve thought, said or done has any power to create your life today.  If you’ve made a mistake or thought things from a fearful standpoint,  do not condemn yourself, but start fresh today, creating what it is you WANT – do not focus anymore on what you don’t want.  The past is in the past. The power of the Universe responds to what you THINK today!

3.  Germination law:  Everything that we think or want to have manifest, needs time.  Everything in creation needs a certain amount of germination time, whether it be an acorn into an oak tree, a seed into a flower, or a fertilized embryo into a baby,  but the Universal Law of Creation WILL cause it into fruition.

And guess what?  It will also produce  an abundance surpassing its original size or energy.  For example, the acorn becomes the oak tree which produces hundreds, if not thousands of more acorns.  A flower produces tonnes of new seeds and a baby grows into maturity to either produce babies of its own or it has an abundance amount of influence on others throughout its life.

4.  We attract more of what we are:   The Acorn does not turn into an oak tree as much as it attracts more and more particles like itself that eventually grow and expand into the oak tree.  Hence, you can – out of your imagination – and your vibration – expand yourself and what you attract to you.

5.  Single-Focus is Key:  We must be single-focused in what we want as the Universe responds to our every command – eventually.  If you want your dream house – be very specific about it – do not vacillate between your dream house being a beach house and then the next week, a mansion (unless you want both).  Sending out contradictory ideas will bring just that – a contradictory energy that becomes an obstacle to manifesting what you want.  If an acorn said one day it wanted to be an oak tree and then the next week, changed its mind (it can’t, but we can) and wanted to be a maple tree, this very vacillating will cause the acorn to never become what it is meant to be.  It will be one of the acorns that simply lay on the path and gets kicked around by hikers.

Three Principles of Prosperity:

1.  Build the Image – once you’ve imagined it and given thanks for it (this is the single most important aspect of manifesting – gratitude) turn it over to spirit – let go and let God/Universe – trust without a doubt that the Universe WILL respond and WILL manifest it!

2.  Match Your Vibrational Energy to your Desire for it:  I know you can imagine the longing of wanting something as we all have a pang in our hearts for what we really want.  What we need to do is refocus this energy of longing to an energy of gratitude – to the joy of when you receive it.

The universe responds to the vibrational feelings we put out to it – if we put out a vibration of longing or desire, it reads this and recreates situations to keep us right there – at the level of longing or desiring.

What we need to do is express the feeling associated with already having it – joy, relief, jubilation.  The Universe will respond accordingly and create each and every situation in order to maintain you at this level of vibration. Therefore, it follows that in order to keep us at that joy or jubilation, it must manifest those things that bring us this feeling.

What’s the quickest, most effective way to do this: 

Feel Gratitude:   close your eyes, imagine what you want and focus on the area around your heart and FEEL the gratitude of already having it.  Do this as many times as you can remember to do it on a daily basis.  Teach others – friends, relatives, or colleagues to do it and then it will not only be ingrained as a natural habit for you – you will be expanding your fulfillment of the desire even more because you are also helping others at the same time.

3.  Expect: Expect that the Universe WILL reward you for your faith in having the things that you want!

For more information about “Your Invisible Power” and Bob Proctor’s summary of it, view :  

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT_Ihuw6FYM

Your Invisible Power Subliminal Site: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N94N-NtbYBk

Laws of Manifesting Your Life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N94N-NtbYBk

Money: How to Build A Relationship With It! Part 5 of 5 Series

Girl hugging money tree

In my first post regarding money, I used an example of writing a letter to money to simply express how we have felt about it in the past and to take command over it in our present lives.  This post is focusing on how to further develop the relationship we have with money, which includes writing a love letter to it.

Why do we need to establish or re-establish a relationship with money?

Because we attract more of what we admire and love.  If we despise money or are resentful of rich people who have money; we will most assuredly send any money coming our way, running in the other direction.  Similarly, if we criticize, think negatively or despise a person, that person will not be attracted to us; nor will they hang around long!  This is often why some people attract money, only to lose it just as fast.

What does a love letter to money look like?

Before you can write a love letter to money, you must first write an honest account (in the form of a letter or a list) of your feeling towards it.  If you have any resentment or negative beliefs or thoughts about money,  you should first write a cleansing letter to money, being honest about your feelings.  Once you write this letter – and most likely you will have many revelations about your true feelings towards it –  you will be freer to write to it from a point of appreciation and love.  I have provided an example below, but of course our letter must be individual to our own experiences and feelings towards money.

Dear money

I have always liked you since I was little; I understood what great things you could provide for me, like candy necklaces, ice cream and Dorito chips, which I loved and would win bag after bag.  I loved when my mom or dad would reward me with you by cleaning my room or giving me twenty dollars allowance each week so that I could have you to enjoy and learn how to spend and save you wisely. That was the best.  I earned you from a very young age and I learned to love buying clothes, make-up and jewellery with you.

There was a time I probably didn’t fully appreciate you because I watched my mom and dad struggle with you, and sometimes fight about you.  So now, I am asking for your forgiveness for how I have thought about you all of these years; for some of the fears and judgements and criticisms I have had about you.  I’ve had my arms open just enough to get by and so that’s the limit to which you’ve always come into my life.  Please forgive me for this, too.  I am asking for your complete and utter forgiveness and I am forgiving myself in this VERY moment regarding how I have believed, thought and behaved with and towards you.

I do love you. I love everything you represent to me in terms of financial freedom; a beautiful beach house, tree-houses to live and vacation in, mansions, cottages on the water, beautiful, sexy cars, toys, like a jet ski and boats, especially cruise boats, beautiful exotic travel, lovely dinners and exquisite wine and cheeses.

I love you and the things are you capable of giving to me and others.  I also love that you can make people so happy.  I love that you can literally change our lives.  I love this about you.  I love that you exist and I am asking that you come, full throttle into my life and transform my life as I know it NOW and also so that I can turn around and have so much that I can freely give to my family, friends and strangers who need help in this area.

I also love the idea of being a spokesperson for you and how great you are and to help thousands – millions of people build and re-build a health relationship with you.  Please come into my life in abundance as I now open my arms fully to you; as well as my heart, mind, subconscious mind, body and give and love you freely as well.  Be my companion, my helper, my supporter and guide me in all of my life’s desires and dreams NOW!

I love you and I am sorry for all the things I have held against you.  I now let all of those false beliefs, thoughts and attitudes leave me.  I am free of all of them. I am free to love you. I am free to allow you to work wonders in my life.  I am free to love you solely as you deserve to be loved.

Sincerely,

_________________

For a great resource on how to attract money, read Rhonda Byrne‘s book, The Magic.  It focuses on gratitude – the single most important thing we can express in our lives and how the amount of thanks we give for what we already have is directly proportionate to what we receive.

Next Post:  Prosperity and Success: The Top 3 Exercises to Attract it to Your Life!

Money: How to Make it Serve You! Part 3 of 5 Series

girl surrounded by money

In What Area is Money Serving You?  In What Area is it Not?

Many of us struggle with money – or lack of it – now and then.  However, we do not necessarily struggle in all areas.  This is an important detail of which to take note.  For example, perhaps we are always lucky to land the right job at the right time; but we seem to always have an issue with having enough to pay our bills.  Perhaps, we are blessed when it comes to people paying for our dinners or other things we need; but we often have breakdowns with our car or other maintenance issues.  Maybe it’s that we are extremely lucky in winning money; but the next day, we have an accident and there goes the whole lot we’ve just won.

Why does this happen?

There is a reason why, in some financial areas we seem to thrive and in others, we are barely surviving.  The discrepancy between these areas is where lies our personal growth; and ultimately, our financial growth.  Our success is dependent on getting these areas healed and in order. 

For example, if money often seems to come to us easily; but then a few days later, our car breaks down and it just happens to be exactly or close to the amount we have just “luckily” received, chances are we have a subconscious, core belief that we either do not deserve the blessing we have been given or we do not truly believe that we are lucky or fortunate or that our luck will last.

We may be in a perpetual struggle between two conflicting beliefs because our father was always stating that he had the “luck of the Irish”, but we perpetually heard our mother say, “Oh, I just can’t get a break!”

We are often fed many misleading and negative ideas regarding money and finances and sometimes we’ve heard so many conflicting beliefs, we continue to create them in our adult lives. I don’t know about you, but this can be very tiring and frustrating! 

How do we break free of these beliefs once and for all? 

Sometimes, it is as simple as recognizing them, writing them down and saying to ourselves that we no longer need these beliefs and they no longer serve us.  At other times, if they are deep-seated beliefs or there is a great deal of emotion attached to them; it may require that we seek outside help from a psycho-therapist, spiritual healer, hypnotist or any other professional that can help us get to the bottom of these core beliefs.  The other very effective technique that can release triggers and blockages is E.F.T: Emotional Freedom Tapping Technique (please refer to my series on E.F.T on my right sidebar of my blog for more information regarding it)

Mediation is a key strategy at getting to our core beliefs, because it is in this meditative state between full consciousness and semi-sleep that we can send messages to our subconscious successfully.  Here are some key strategies to try within a meditative state:

1.  As I have mentioned in my other posts regarding this money series, watching and listening to subliminal training videos can be very helpful to begin our journey to financial freedom.

How to Think Like a Millionaire:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXPIVsDLRAM

2.  Harv T Ecker is another expert on changing our money blueprint or mindset by thinking like the rich, instead of from a poverty mentality:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeNAGoFSqno

3.  Focusing on an item that is symbolic of financial freedom can also be very helpful. I have a picture of the type of car I am intending to own in the next few months and it happens to be a car that represents for me that I am in a very lucrative financial position.  I imagine driving this particular car into my family’s driveway, right down to taking my dog cage out of the car and seeing my family coming out and greeting me to have a look at my new car.  I currently enjoy and treasure the car I am driving, but I often imagine I am driving my new car when I am behind the wheel of my current one; I even imagine how much higher I will sit in the driver’s seat.

4.  Visualizing Exercises:  These are exercises regarding forgiveness and letting go of our parents’ beliefs about money and wealth, which can be very effective.  I have visualized conversations with my parents; they are asking me for forgiveness for teaching me their limited views regarding money; and I am forgiving them and accepting from them a wonderful gift that they are happy to bestow upon me, allowing me to be physically and financially free from their home and moving towards my financially free lifestyle.

5.  The key is to meditate on or visualize things that actually bring us into a state of feeling associated with owning or having wealth.  For example, when I imagine driving my new vehicle, I can actually feel the excitement and the joy of the experience.  If repeating affirmations about being a proud owner – (I am not limiting the Universe as to how it wants to bring me this car – or speaking over myself that I have to earn the money for it) – of this vehicle registers on a scale from 1-10 at about a 6, then actually visualizing driving it and feeling the emotions attached to the experience, puts us at a level of 9-10.  This higher level is what will cause our subconscious and the Universe to respond more effectively to our request or desire.

Check Out Tony Robbins “How to Breakthrough”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc4rWleclXs

Next Post:  How to Create a New Blueprint for Our Money Consciousness. Part 4 of 5 Series.

Making Mistakes: How to Embrace Them! Part 1 of 5 Series

beaut from a  dark room
How many of us have made a mistake in our lives? 

Every one of us!  One of the most comforting things I have learned from studying literature that spans centuries is that I have come to understand one invaluable lesson:  whatever error or mistake we make; someone, somewhere in history has already made it already!

As part of the human race we share a number of important things:

1.  We are made of blood, muscle and bones.

2.  We feel sadness, anger, love, jealousy, joy and many other emotions.

3.  We are mortal.

4.  We are all connected.

5.  We ALL make mistakes.

Avril Lavigne sings in her song, Complicated, “Chill out, what you yellin’ for?
Lay back, it’s all been done before,” so we can comfort ourselves in the fact that whatever we do to err in this life; it’s already been done at least once – probably millions of times!

How do we deal with the fact that we are not perfect and that we do make mistakes?

1.  We need to embrace our darkness – that part of ourselves that is quite capable – if not expert – at making mistakes.

2.  We need to own up to our mistakes the best we can and be determined to learn from them; so that we do not repeat them and we are able to approach the same situation in a much better and clearer perspective next time.

3.  We need to remember that what our mistakes teach us most of all is this:  To not judge others when they make mistakes and to demonstrate compassion to others in their mistakes.

4.  We need to learn to demonstrate that same compassion for ourselves – that is the ONLY way to be more compassionate to our fellow human.

5.  We need to learn to forgive ourselves when we make a mistake and not ruminate about it – thinking about our error will indefinitely lead to more mistakes as we will not be focused on improving, but on our fear of faltering again, and therefore, we will re-create more mistakes.

Next Post:  Our Ugly Side – How to Embrace It!

 you have the power

Related Articles:

Making  Mistakes to Enhance Self-Esteem and Improve Performance http://www.excelatlife.com/articles/mistakes.htm

How to Bounce back from a Mistake: http://99u.com/tips/7089/How-To-Bounce-Back-From-A-Big-Mistake

Try Again by Aaliyah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjnbozivsEo

Prosperity: Obstacles to Success – How to Overcome Them! Part 2 of 5 Series

money on trees

Money, does in fact, grow on trees!

What obstacles get in the way of us manifesting the things we desire most in life?

In reality, only ourselves and our limited thoughts and beliefs can get in the way of us manifesting the things we desire.

Some of the obstacles are:

1.  Undeserving Belief:  We do not always believe we deserve what it is we are asking.

The only solution is to convince our psyches or our subconscious that we DO deserve these things.

How do we do that?

We simply form an affirmation that suggests it and begin to repeat it to ourselves daily and as often as possible.  At first, we do not always believe the affirmation.  This is why we have to say it repeatedly.  The areas where we already believe positive things are usually areas where we are having success.

It is necessary to repeat affirmations regarding areas that we are not having success because we are literally re-programming our neuro-pathways – our brain – to think and ultimately feel differently about our finances, love and health.  This ultimately brings about different and more positive results.  If we wish to accelerate this process, we can do mirror work, which can be very difficult at first but is highly productive.

What is mirror work?

We repeat affirmations to ourselves in the mirror.

Why is this effective?

It’s effective because we are faced with our true selves – our inner child if you will – who is the part of us who has the limiting beliefs.  Often as children we were told by our parents limiting statements regarding prosperity and money, such as “money doesn’t grow on trees, you know!”.

In regards to mirror work, you may want to begin with saying, “I love you _______” to yourself as many times as possible. It is even more effective when you use your first name.   If this is too difficult for you as we often do not truly love ourselves at the core, you could back up to where you are comfortable and say, “I am willing and open to loving you ________”.

After we begin to love ourselves, we can then progress to affirmations in the mirror that say,

” _________, you deserve to have the love, job, prosperity, dream house, and body you desire.”  Over time this will re-program our consciousness to believe these things and in time will bring about these manifestations we have been desiring.

2.  Discomfort:  We feel the discomfort of the last 500 metres and give up and throw away the paper or tape recorder with our affirmations on it (yes, I’ve done this!). 

This goes back to #1 in that we often meet obstacles or blocks in areas for a reason.  We want to blame circumstances or say that we “have no luck” or “this is the story of my life”.  These are the things that we absolutely have to refuse to say to ourselves.  Instead, we have to look within.

Everything that is going on in our lives, good and bad (remember bad is only a perspective) is a reflection of our inner-selves and beliefs.

For example, most people who have money issues have inherited long-standing beliefs about money.  They have received messages in their childhood, usually from their parents but not always, regarding money such as the aforementioned, “money doesn’t grow on trees“, or “money is the root of all evil.”  If we believe this, how is money or the energy around it suppose to respond to us?  It will avoid us like the plague.  If we said to a friend or partner, “you are the root of all evil” how long do we think this person would be attracted to us or want to stick around in our lives?

There are many limiting beliefs regarding finances.  Again, if you want to identify what is blocking you from prosperity or abundance in your life, simply look in the mirror and say, “My biggest fear about money is __________________” and notice what comes up.  Write it down and as much as you might resist it or not want to deal with it or face it, you must.  If we do not deal with our fears or limiting beliefs in areas of our lives, we will never be free to accept and receive the very things we desire.

3.  Indecisiveness:  We change our minds as to what we want, thinking that this will bring about “something” close to what we want.

An example of this, is vacillating between what we truly want and what we are willing to settle for.  For example, in a time when I was renting my house I had tenants that did not pay their rent for six months.  In awaiting their eviction, I vacillated between re-renting or selling my home many times.  Once they were finally evicted and I had my house back, I worked very diligently to clean it, paint it and put it back into the condition in which I had it before my renters took it over.  I was still undecided about whether I wanted to rent it again or sell it.  I had it on the market to sell for almost three months at that point, with no interest.  Well, no wonder.

I was sending mixed messages to the Universe as to what I truly wanted.  Single focus is very important in allowing ourselves to receive the things we want.  Once I saw my house restored to its original beauty I knew that I could not bear to rent it again only to have to restore it again.  I decided to sell.  I made up my mind.  Interestingly, during the first few days after I made my decision to sell, I had people come to view it during Open Houses and some mentioned that if I did not sell it they would be interested in renting it.  Curiously, I was open to that for a brief moment in time; mostly because meeting these people, I realized that there were responsible people out there that wanted to rent and would pay their bills.  However, these people were simply symbolic of that part of me that doubted I would sell it and thought, “Maybe I should rent it just in case I don’t sell it”.

What did I truly want at my core?  To sell it, to move on and bless someone else with it, while I re-focused my money somewhere else rather than continuing to pay its mortgage and utilities.  At that point, I firmly made up my mind to sell it.  I was determined.  I was single focused on one goal:  To sell my house and bless someone else with it in the meantime.

4.  Settling for Second Best:  We settle for less than what we want, not having enough faith to believe we can and will get exactly what we ask for. 

Which leads me to a very important point: If there are people in your life who negate what you think, believe or aspire to – these people do not share your positive energy and will most definitely create if not in your life, then in your own consciousness a seed of doubt which inevitably, despite our best efforts can lead to a full-fledged weed within our minds.  Avoid people like this.  Obviously people mean well and want to give you advice.  However, while humans cannot open certain doors that the Universe can; humans too can keep doors shut with their own minds that the Universe cannot open. Be wary of the company you keep and the thoughts that you entertain!

5.  Being the Victim:  We are stuck in negative patterns.

Even though we might say three affirmations a day for prosperity, we continue the rest of day thinking or speaking negative thoughts that negate the very positive ones we have worked on.  For example, we might affirm in the mirror that “we are in abundance and prosperity is coming to us from many different sources.”  Later that same day, however, we repeat negative phrases such as, “I can’t afford to go out for lunch” or “I have so much debt” or “I’ll never be able to afford that new car”.  Even insisting on shopping all of the time at discount or used stores sends a message to the Universe that we are in poverty and need to accept second-hand things.  There is nothing wrong with shopping at these places (I do it all of the time) as we may find a great treasure.

The problem exists when we only shop at such places and refuse to buy ourselves anything new or expensive.  Another obstacle lies not in our words but our actions.  For example, if we steal anything there is a strong message to the Universe that we cannot afford to buy things.  If we borrow or use the copier at work for personal items, it sends the same message.  We must live a life of the utmost integrity to send the utmost positive messages to the Universe that we can afford and believe we deserve the very best.  In the next blog I write about manifesting love and the obstacles in which we create for ourselves in that area.

Related Articles & Videos:

How to Attract Money:  http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Oliver2.html

Subliminal Conscious training to Attract Money: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlw97AQyswc

Next Post:  Prosperity:  How to be Single Focused on What you Want! Part 3 of 5

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Speak Your Truth – Part 8 of 10 Series

The-Wisdom-of-Yoda

Yoda would definitely encourage us to speak our truth….gently!

How many of us are afraid to speak our truth? Do we even know what our truth is?

Speaking our truth essentially means to express freely what we feel to be the best, healthiest and truest decision for ourselves regarding any and every situation with which we are faced.

For example, if someone asks us to do something and we really don’t want to do it, how often do we oblige this person, do what it is they are asking and then either mentally ruminate about how much we resent it or we express our displeasure verbally or through our body language to others and perhaps to the person who has asked us for help?

How many times, when someone is late or cancels on us or disappoints us in some way, we don’t bother to say anything, but all the while, hold onto anger or resentment towards this person?

How many times, when someone does something habitually to annoy us, pressures us to do something we don’t want to do, guilts us into doing something (the list goes on and on) do we keep quiet, but secretly become angry at this person or talk about them to others?

This is what happens when we are not speaking our truth; when we are not being true to our own needs, desires and preferences and care more about what people think of us than caring for ourselves.

Are there times when we need to sacrifice ourselves – our time, money, energy for the good of others?  Absolutely.  However, the problem is when we do it all of the time – we become chronic people pleasers and swallow our feelings of resentment and this almost always manifests itself in illness or gaining weight, eventually.

What are the signs we are not being true to ourselves and have failed to speak our truth?

1.  We feel angry, resentful or dread when we are about to do something.

2.  We are in a state of mental monkey mind – this is when we are going over and over what we would LIKE to say to this person, but we never actually verbalize it.

3.  When we find ourselves talking either about the person who has disappointed us in the form of gossip or complaining – or we are continually talking about how we have to do such and such for so and so and how unfair or what a pain it is.

4.  We develop colds, sore throats, toothaches – any illness to do with the throat or mouth is usually a red flag that we do not feel free to express ourselves and we are holding “infectious words” within us, instead of verbalizing them to others.

5.  We become gossips or are forever talking ABOUT someone rather than TO them.

6.  Our relationships begin to lack honesty or depth.

7.  We disempower ourselves and therefore feel weak or angry with ourselves.

8.  Eating disorders can develop – this is especially true of bulimia.  We literally “swallow” all of the unhealthy words or thoughts from others or ourselves and then regurgitate them back out in anger.

9.  Others sense our anger or resentment and avoid having social interactions with us.

10.  We actually create more separation from our Authentic Self and soon become almost deaf to our own needs and desires.

What does it mean to speak our truth?

It is when what we think, speak and act is in alignment with each other.  If we say yes to something, we make peace about it mentally and we do it.  If we say no to something, we mentally let ourselves off the hook – we do not allow guilt to develop and we stick to our “no” in our actions.  An example of this is when we begin dating and we tell our partner that we are not comfortable becoming intimate with them until three months have passed.  Then we speak and act according to what we have told the person.  If we sleep with them the next week (which of course all of us have gone back on what we’ve told someone at some point in our lives) we disempower ourselves and we never feel completely trustworthy in our own word – and neither will that other person.  My belief is, if you don’t think you can do it, then don’t say it!

Related Links:

Speak Your Truth http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Speak-Your-Truth_2

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Forget Your Shoulds! Part 6 of 10 Series

progressisimpossiblewithoutchange

angry girl pointing her fingerangry guy pointing his finger“You SHOULD!”

How many times have we shaken our fingers at ourselves about something we should have done, should be doing, or should do soon?  We are often “shoulding” ourselves about something; and this is not surprising as most of us could not count how many times we have been told in our past about something we should do.  We have heard it from our parents, adults, teachers, authority figures, siblings, peers in the past and perhaps even now; and more often, from ourselves.  We are carrying on a tradition that others began inside of our minds and we should stop!  Okay, this is the one should you can listen to!

For example, how many us are able to accomplish our New year’s resolutions?  Most of us are not successful because we often try to change things that are so well-established not only as a habit and part of our life-style,  but in the neuro-pathways of our mind.

One exercise that I completed in my four years of training to be a psycho-therapist was extremely helpful in  helping me begin to make changes – albeit small changes at first – in my life and getting rid of my shoulds and turning them into accomplishments.

Many of us have a long list of shoulds:

I should go to the gym

I should go on a diet

I should be more patient

I should travel more

I should save my money for travel

I should save more!  Work more!  Work less!

…and the list goes on.

For some reason, the word “should” continues to resonate in our minds as a non-committal, sit-on-the-fence mentality that rarely ever brings about action, let alone change.   Hence, we continue to tell ourselves that we should do this or we should do that; and we almost never get around to it.

The exercise to change this kind of mentality is very simple – and yet it works.  It entails making a list of our shoulds.  Then, after reading it through, we need to decide whether we WILL or we WON’T take the action.  After we decide, we need to literally cross out the word “should” and write above it (or below it) the words “I will” or “I won’t”.  For example, if you have on your list, “I should eat less” cross out the should and write what you’ve decided to do:  I will eat less or I won’t eat less.

After you’ve finished “correcting” your list, then tuck it away somewhere and leave it for a month or two months – however long you can wait.  I did this for one month and when I returned to my list – I could barely remember what I had written on it – I had accomplished all but one of the things that I had previously, so many times said I should do.

For some reason, our brain is able to make connections to our commitment to take action and either consciously or subconsciously, we begin to make small – and sometimes big – changes in our lives.  What can an exercise like this one hurt?  Perhaps, if you return to your list and you still have things to change, you can redo the list and re-commit.  I know for me, this was the beginning of changing my entire language around accomplishing anything.

For example, another non-committal word is trying.  “Trying is lying” to ourselves.  As long as we are in the should stage or the trying stage, we do not accomplish the things we want.  Instead of saying, “I should work out three times per week,” say, “I will or I am working out three times per week.”  Instead of saying, “I’m trying to change” simply say, “I am changing ________ about my life” or “I will change _________ in my life.”  Period.  We wouldn’t want a non-committal reply from people we are relying on, so why do we accept it from ourselves?

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