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F.E.A.R: False Expectations Appearing Real – How to Worry Less and Follow Your Dreams! Part 4 of Top 5 Series

Mark Twain photo

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened!”  Mark Twain

Take if from a man who knows.  Mark Twain lived and wrote in a time and a place where his subject matter (racism & slavery) was not generally appreciated.  He also tried his hand at making a traditional living and then decided to quit and live his dream of being a writer, which wasn’t always easy or without its financial setbacks.  However, he persevered and is now one of the most well-loved and well-known American writers of all time.  To read more about his bio, visit: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1244.Mark_Twain

F.E.A.R:  False Expectations Appearing Real

How many of us, since our childhood have had dreams of being a writer, artist, photographer, dancer, musician or any number of creative pursuits, only to have those dreams squashed by the inevitable good intentions of a parent, teacher or authority figure with the words: “Well, you don’t want to become that!  You’ll never make a living at it!”

I wonder how many people have heard these words – or some variant of them – and how many have given up right then and there and buried those longings deep within; and how many, despite or in spite of those words, went headlong in the pursuit of their dreams just to prove that person wrong.  I don’t know about you – but I find the latter type of people – even if they weren’t all that successful – or at least not until after they were dead – much more inspiring than those who resigned themselves to a life and career that was more safe and secure.

These False Expectations – fears of what might happen – refer to the fears we have about stepping out into the canyon of our dreams.  Much like in the movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he is standing right at the edge of a huge canyon and he knows in order to get to the other side he must cross it.  However, there is no path or bridge – at least that he can see with his human eye.  He has to essentially step out first in complete faith, before the next step appears for him.

It is never easy to do this.  What if we step out and we plummet to our death?  What if we step out and fail?  This type of fear is based on false expectations – which seem very real – that we will fail.  Why do we expect to fail, however?  Where do these thoughts or beliefs come from?  We know of plenty – thousands – maybe millions – of people who have stepped out and they have succeeded – some from talent and some from sheer luck or being in the right place at the right time:   Oprah, Brittney Spears, Donald Trump – how many more?

Why do we perceive ourselves so different from these people?  They are, after all, simply human just like us.  They came into this world just like us and will leave it the same way.  Why is their journey destined to be so much more wrought with financial success or fame or living their dreams?

I am here to tell you that it is not.  One of my favourite quotations is: “Well, no one told me I couldn’t do it!  So I did it!”  The only difference between most of us longing for our lost dreams and those living them is one thing – FEAR – the false ideas and core beliefs we have about ourselves and our lives.  We tend to remain where it is comfortable and safe.

I can tell you that I have never had anything too exciting happen to me by staying comfortable or safe. Trekking off to Colombia, South America to teach when I knew no one, was not without its discomfort or danger – but I did it and it changed my entire perspective – and I wrote a book about it!  Applying and re-applying to Teacher’s College and getting rejected twice before getting my – albeit 11th hour admittance – was not comforting to my ego.  Sitting for hours and hours pouring my blood, sweat and tears into three, now almost four novels, knowing full well that I might never get published wasn’t very comfortable either.  Heading off to do missionary work for three months in a foreign country didn’t feel very safe – but the experience changed my life.  Flying to Honduras to write for a month when I barely had enough money to live – the money turned up, however – didn’t make me feel very comfortable either.  Resigning from my secure paying teaching job in a small town to brave the big city of Toronto  to teach and write where I was most happiest, wasn’t very comforting or safe – but here I am – two years later, in Toronto, writing, teaching and enjoying my life.

Is it without struggles?  No.  Have I had my faith stretched as far as it could possibly go the last few years?  Yes.  Has a job always came?  Yes.  Have I survived?  Yes.  Am I determined more than ever to be financially free to write and travel this vast world now that I have had so many caverns and canyons to cross?  Absolutely!  This is what stepping out does – either by miracle, luck or perseverance we do make it the other side – and each time, it makes us more and more fear – less!

I once read a quotation that said, “Never sit down to write, until you have the courage to stand up and live!” (Henry David Thoreau).  Hence, I am now sitting down to write – and to write with everything I have in me regarding my blog and my posts, because I have stood up and lived and I want to encourage you to do this as well.  Do I suggest quitting your job tomorrow and taking up painting?  No.  What I suggest are a few practical things:

1. Make a list of all of your False Expectations:  every fear, worry, excuse, reason as to why you shouldn’t be living your dream and why you will fail.  Then burn it, toss it, rip it up!

2.   Read Debbie Ford’s “Best Year of Your Life” and “What Colour is Your Parachute?” by Richard Nelson Bolles who states: ” Always define WHAT you want to do with your life and WHAT you have to offer to the world, in terms of your favorite talents/gifts/skills-not in terms of a job-title.”  Incidentally, he was fired from his job in 1968 and you should see what has come out of him crossing this cavern of failure to his success.  Check out his bio – well worth the read:  http://www.first30days.com/experts/richard-nelson-bolles

3.  Make a plan of what your dreams or goals are – go revisit your childhood – your inner child will tell you exactly what those dreams were.

4.  Simplify Your Life – get rid of all the things, ideas and even people (especially toxic and negative ones) that are cluttering your life and holding you back!

5.  Then put all of your energy into what you love – or all of your spare energy until things begin to start opening up for you.  Since I began this blog and really focusing on writing – and writing the things that I am most passionate about – which is everything I have learned through my education, experience, people, setbacks and successes – my writing, my creativity, my inspiration and opportunities have opened up exponentially for me.  Just today, without even asking for it, I was asked if I’d like to teach a Writer’s Craft Course, which I have been longing to do for over five years.

6.  Then figure out how your dreams will meet the needs of the world.  Service to others and making this world a better place for others while also nurturing your dreams is the best way to watch the Universe open its doors to you!

Leap of Faith (Indiana Jones)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_-BOvWVycM

Remember:  W.O.R.R.Y.    Wondering Obsessively Rarely Reaps Your…Dreams!

Next Post:  F.E.A.R:  Forgetting Everything is All Right – How to Have More Faith!

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10 Things Your Authentic Self Has to Tell You: Live Your Dreams! Part 1 of Top 10 Series

If people aren't laughing at your dreams...

It is so important to live one’s dreams and to follow the path of one’s authentic self.  If you are not sure who your authentic self is, do two things today:

1.  Go find a picture of yourself when you were a little boy or girl (that you really like), frame it and place it some where you can always see it to remind you of your true, loving self.  How could you ever be critical or hard on him/her?

2.  Make a list of all of the things you used to love to do as a kid – and the things you dreamed of being.  These are the things which will lead you back to the path of your authentic self.

This is the reason that I am sharing some of my photos that capture my authentic self  – these are the things that I dreamed of becoming and doing as a child and what I loved to do the most:

1.  Teaching and Teaching in foreign country – Colombia, South America

2.  Being a published author

3.  Playing in the water; making friends around the world; having adventure and travel in my life!

At My First Book Signing at Chapters Bookstore

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My Book Launch with City Mayor – Belleville

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Having Fun Ziplining in Costa Rica

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Tubing at Buttermilk Falls in Summer

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Tubing at Buttermilk Falls in Winter – brrrrrrh!

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Hanging out with Fellow Writers in Utila, Honduras

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Cracking into my Own Coconut in Honduras after a LONG hike!

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Hanging Out & Interviewing the Oldest Diver – Gunter – on Utila

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L.O.V.E – lights, camera, action! – Part 1 of Top 5 Ways to Change the World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-U0pMpYFJY (A wonderful link to watch and listen to after reading the blog – to remind and encourage you that you can be sure whatever you do in action for someone; the Universe will see to it that it will be contagious!  Trust in that!)

In my blog # 18, I mentioned that love is not a feeling, but an action.  You may have heard this before, but many of us have a difficult time getting our mind around this idea because often we are convinced we feel “love” somewhere in our bodies.

We certainly feel in our bodies, a response to a thought about love.  For example, imagine in this moment something or someone to which you feel love.  What is the feeling?  Where in your body do you feel it?

It is often a feeling of excitement like butterflies in our stomachs or a warm feeling in our hearts or maybe if it is romantic love, it is a longing to touch or be touched or kissed by that person.  These are physiological responses to thoughts, which is wonderful as it means that we can not only train our minds to think about love; we can also help our bodies to simulate these feelings whenever we choose.

Sometimes when I simply gaze at a picture of an ocean or look down at my beautiful aqua-blue ring that reminds me of the ocean, I feel a warm sense in my chest and an uplifting feeling.  I do not necessarily have to be standing on a beach in Cuba to feel this type of “loving” feeling – our minds are wonderful entities in that even when we imagine a person, event, or situation that we associate with happiness, our bodies react as if these experiences are real.

Herein lies the key to acting in love and thus, creating more love in our lives and consequently, attracting more of it too.  There is a very simple action that we can take in order to lift our frequencies from that Frustration Station of 97.5 to the L.O.V.E. Station of 101.5.  It is the action of doing a kind deed.

Almost every time in my life when I have found myself in a low or depressed state, something will happen either by coincidence or something that I do by choice for someone else and lo and behold I am uplifted out of this lower vibrational state into a higher, more loving state.  An example of this is that I am often the first person on the scene of accidents and I am confronted with an opportunity to act or react in a manner that causes me to completely forget about my own life, worries or situation and to be entirely focused on helping another human being.

My homework is not of course for any of us to go find the scene of an accident (but perhaps be open to whatever situation the Universe brings to help us out of our own funk) but to consciously choose to do something kind for someone else today.  You may buy the coffee for the person behind you in line (or the drive-thru) or you may not even decide what you’re going to do – part of what helps make each day more exciting is to start my day off with this simple prayer:  God/Universe, please put in front of me anyone (or anything including an animal) that may need a helping hand today.

Instead of hoping for a guardian angel, ask God/Universe to allow you to be one for someone else. How cool would it be to know that when you leave your home during the day that you could be on a mission for a higher power – imagine for one day what it would be like to know that God has chosen you to be his helper on this earth. You might be amazed at how willing God and the Universe is to use you to “love” another human being! One thing I know from experience is that when you put love into action and help another human being feel loved; the blessing will be returned to you exponentially.  One cannot out give the Universe; nor can one out love God!

Please try this experiment for one week with me.  Feel free to write to me at tcooperauthor@yahoo.ca or leave a comment about any of your experiences.  I would love to hear about anything that you do or have done that has helped you to tune into a higher vibrational frequency!

The Renaissance – To Be Reborn

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Michelangelo’s David – Varasi described David as “certainly a miracle that of Michelangelo, to restore to life one who was dead.”

I chose David in my Blog as he is the quintessential piece of art that truly represents what the Renaissance period was about – to be reborn – to be created and revealed out of the stone that one surrounds oneself in.

Michelangelo believed that within each block of marble was an art form already contained. Before beginning any sculpture, he studied the block of marble for days. He rose before dawn so that he could go outside and look at the block in the first rays of the day’s sunlight.

He believed that light would reveal the most about the block of marble. He would be able to see the direction of the grade, the flaws, the air bubbles, and the natural inclination of the rock. He then perceived his job as the sculptor to gently carve away all superfluous material so that the art inside could reveal itself.

This is what it entails to become reborn – not to hammer away at a rock (ourselves) to force it into a form –  but to gently remove the blockages so that the art or genius within can reveal itself.  This is what I intend to do this year and in so doing, to teach others how to accomplish it as well.

The Renaissance period which means, “to be reborn” is thought to have been a cultural movement that spanned the period roughly from the 14th to the 17th century, beginning in Italy in the late Middle Ages and later spreading to the rest of Europe.

This is what I intend this Blog to be – beginning with my own Renaissance – to allow my perspective in life to be continually reborn and hopefully, like a pebble in the water, whose ripples spread out and affect the multitude of molecules of hydrogen and oxygen around it – sharing my knowledge and experiences will inspire and help others to have a Renaissance of their own.

The beginning of my Renaissance Period began approximately ten years ago when I began reading a self-help book, entitled, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.  Her basic premise was and still is, if we begin to change our thoughts and our words from destructive or negative to creative, positive ones, we will begin to see changes in ourselves and eventually in our lives – we will begin to manifest the things we want, instead of continuing to create more of what we don’t want.  I am here to tell you I have seen living proof of this power in my own life over the last ten years.

I have been able to find employment as a teacher when all the odds were against me – to have a job taken from me, only to be given it back one hour later, to travel and live in Colombia, South America for three years, to write and publish two novels, to travel around the world, to attract many friends and wonderful experiences to my life.

However, there are times in our lives that we can go backwards on our journey of spiritual growth or at least become temporarily stuck in a situation that we cannot seem to get out of very quickly.  This has happened to me a few times along the journey even though I am convinced that I am thinking, saying and acting in accordance with my innermost desires.  However, as Louise Hay states when she finds many of her clients in this position she asks them how many positive affirmations they are saying each day.  They usually say about three a day.  Her next question is, how many negative affirmations or thoughts do they have during the day that negate these positive messages.  On further reflection, most clients find that when not focusing on saying their affirmations, they are often ruminating on their problem rather than the solution.

I have come to the conclusion that this is what has caused my re-lapse into a ‘stuck situation’.  Hence, I have reflected on what it is that I ultimately want.  In essence, to not look at the canyon I have to cross and all of the obstacles and fears of crossing it; but rather, focus on the other side AND most importantly, envision myself already on the other side celebrating that I have made it.

Consequently, I have begun – and this is why I am beginning this Blog today – because I am giving myself time as well as having a written, firsthand account of my Renaissance from where I am at present to where I am going…I hope that you will read along with me…

Please see sidebar for Topics Of Interest regarding your own Renaissance!