Archive | September 2012

Listen – Live Interview – How YOU can Begin Living a Life Of Vibrant Energy!

LISTEN TO TANYA M. COOPER:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lizyt/2014/11/25/tanya-m-cooper-author

LOVE Cover

Please check out Tanya’s latest book which is a compilation of all of my posts within this blog at the following sites:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/tanya-m-cooper?store=allproducts&keyword=tanya++m+cooper

http://www.publishamerica.net/product53922.html

How can you live your own Renaissance?

1.  Change Your Perspective:

     The Mystery of Mona Lisa:

“When the viewer looks directly at [her] mouth…the fovea{of our eye] does not pick up the shadows, and the portrait no longer appears to be smiling.  Therefore, the appearance and disappearance of her smile really is an attribute of viewers’ vision. This is one of the reasons why the painting has remained an enigma to art enthusiasts and perhaps the most famous painting in the world.” http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-mystery-behind-the-mona-lisa.htm

Another example is the pigeon; it’s head continually sways from front to back so that when its head is in backward motion, the pigeon is re-aligning its vision in order to see what is ahead of it.  We need to do this on a continual basis as well – step back from a person, decision, situation – in order to gain a fresh perspective on it and in many ways, this results in fresh solutions or actions that we begin to realize we can take regarding any situation in our lives.

2.  Think differently:  This is similar to gaining a new perspective but it entails actually training ourselves to catch the bombardment of negatives thoughts we have, when we have them and to cancel them and exchange them for more hopeful, insightful ones.  This isn’t always easy.  Read my posts under Re-programming Our Subconscious Mind for practical ways to do this.

3.  Change Your Words:  We begin with our words and then match our vibrational energy – how we feel about the words and their overall message or meaning – to them. For example words such as joy, pleasure, fun, happiness, wealth have a much higher vibrational energy than words such as sadness, fine, okay, bad, depressed, debt. Essentially, we create our lives and the things in it by sending out certain vibrational words and thoughts. This is why it is SO important not just to say your affirmations but to feel and visualize you feeling the joy of success, or having the job or relationship you want.  Please refer to my posts under Affirmations & Manifestations.

4.  Stop Trying to Force Things:  While I am convinced that the more we begin to think, speak and act positively and raise our vibrational level, the more we will begin to feel better and manifest things in our lives; I too, recognize that we must not overwork ourselves at it either. Otherwise, we can also create negative effects by putting too much pressure on ourselves and actually manifest something we do not really want or need.  Please refer to my posts under Affirmations & Manifestations.

5.  Keep Health at the Top:  Always include a reference to your health. Our subconscious at the very base level, is most concerned with our health and survival. Hence, it automatically keeps all of our internal organs working, our heart beating and our brain active even when we are asleep. So when we pair whatever we desire with the fact that having it will bring about a more peaceful or joyful or healthy existence for us, our subconscious works even harder to bring it about.  Here is my example:  It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me NOW to be financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE! Thank you!  Please refer to my posts under Health & Healing.

6.  Stop Settling for Second Best: When we settle for less than what we want, it’s because we do not have enough faith to believe we can and will get exactly what we ask for.  Hence, we usually end up with less than what we had hoped for.  Choose what you want and keep your focus on it! Please refer to my posts under Prosperity.

7.  Avoid Toxic or Negative People:  If there are people in your life who negate what you think, believe or aspire to – these people do not share your positive energy and will most definitely create, if not in your life, then in your own consciousness a seed of doubt which inevitably, despite our best efforts can lead to a full-fledged weed within our minds. Avoid people like this. Obviously people mean well and want to give you advice. However, while humans cannot open certain doors that the Universe can; humans too can keep doors shut with their own minds that the Universe cannot open. Be wary of the company you keep and the thoughts that you entertain!  Please refer to my posts under Love & Relationships and Fear.

8.  Align Your Actions with Your Words:  Another obstacle lies not in our words but our actions. For example, if we steal anything there is a strong message to the Universe that we cannot afford to buy things. If we borrow or use the copier at work for personal items, it sends the same message. We must live a life of the utmost integrity to send the utmost positive messages to the Universe that we can afford and believe we deserve the very best.  Please refer to my posts regarding Affirmations and Manifestations.

9.  Be Grateful:  Every day, we need to give thanks for what we have and to focus on that; not on our lack.  For example, if we are awaiting something to manifest in our lives, we need to rejoice in the things that have already happened and the things that are about to happen. What I want to stress is that once things begin to flow in our lives, we must rejoice in them and we can also utilize them to convince our subconscious that we indeed receive the things in which we need and for which we ask. It is not always easy to be patient and keep our faith in-the-meantime; however, if we focus on the times in our lives and the things that have manifested, we are better equipped to handle those times that it appears nothing is happening.  Please refer to my posts regarding Gratitude.

10. Love: Thoughts of love (not necessarily the romantic kind, but rather love as in pure appreciation) vibrate higher than any other emotion. Period. You (in your non-physical form) are essentially unlimited love, joy, and abundance. Everything that everyone wants in their life is because they think it will give them a taste of these things – love, freedom, and joy.

The basis of your life is freedom.

The purpose of your life is joy.

That is why you are here. So find something, anything that you love and fixate completely on it for a few minutes. It doesn’t matter what the object of your love is – just feeling the emotion purely will raise your vibration.

For further reading on any of these topics, please refer to the right sidebar Topics of Interest. 

 

 

The Renaissance – To Be Reborn

Image

Michelangelo’s David – Varasi described David as “certainly a miracle that of Michelangelo, to restore to life one who was dead.”

I chose David in my Blog as he is the quintessential piece of art that truly represents what the Renaissance period was about – to be reborn – to be created and revealed out of the stone that one surrounds oneself in.

Michelangelo believed that within each block of marble was an art form already contained. Before beginning any sculpture, he studied the block of marble for days. He rose before dawn so that he could go outside and look at the block in the first rays of the day’s sunlight.

He believed that light would reveal the most about the block of marble. He would be able to see the direction of the grade, the flaws, the air bubbles, and the natural inclination of the rock. He then perceived his job as the sculptor to gently carve away all superfluous material so that the art inside could reveal itself.

This is what it entails to become reborn – not to hammer away at a rock (ourselves) to force it into a form –  but to gently remove the blockages so that the art or genius within can reveal itself.  This is what I intend to do this year and in so doing, to teach others how to accomplish it as well.

The Renaissance period which means, “to be reborn” is thought to have been a cultural movement that spanned the period roughly from the 14th to the 17th century, beginning in Italy in the late Middle Ages and later spreading to the rest of Europe.

This is what I intend this Blog to be – beginning with my own Renaissance – to allow my perspective in life to be continually reborn and hopefully, like a pebble in the water, whose ripples spread out and affect the multitude of molecules of hydrogen and oxygen around it – sharing my knowledge and experiences will inspire and help others to have a Renaissance of their own.

The beginning of my Renaissance Period began approximately ten years ago when I began reading a self-help book, entitled, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.  Her basic premise was and still is, if we begin to change our thoughts and our words from destructive or negative to creative, positive ones, we will begin to see changes in ourselves and eventually in our lives – we will begin to manifest the things we want, instead of continuing to create more of what we don’t want.  I am here to tell you I have seen living proof of this power in my own life over the last ten years.

I have been able to find employment as a teacher when all the odds were against me – to have a job taken from me, only to be given it back one hour later, to travel and live in Colombia, South America for three years, to write and publish two novels, to travel around the world, to attract many friends and wonderful experiences to my life.

However, there are times in our lives that we can go backwards on our journey of spiritual growth or at least become temporarily stuck in a situation that we cannot seem to get out of very quickly.  This has happened to me a few times along the journey even though I am convinced that I am thinking, saying and acting in accordance with my innermost desires.  However, as Louise Hay states when she finds many of her clients in this position she asks them how many positive affirmations they are saying each day.  They usually say about three a day.  Her next question is, how many negative affirmations or thoughts do they have during the day that negate these positive messages.  On further reflection, most clients find that when not focusing on saying their affirmations, they are often ruminating on their problem rather than the solution.

I have come to the conclusion that this is what has caused my re-lapse into a ‘stuck situation’.  Hence, I have reflected on what it is that I ultimately want.  In essence, to not look at the canyon I have to cross and all of the obstacles and fears of crossing it; but rather, focus on the other side AND most importantly, envision myself already on the other side celebrating that I have made it.

Consequently, I have begun – and this is why I am beginning this Blog today – because I am giving myself time as well as having a written, firsthand account of my Renaissance from where I am at present to where I am going…I hope that you will read along with me…

Please see sidebar for Topics Of Interest regarding your own Renaissance!

 

Gratitude Brings Changes in Attitude – Part 1 of Top 5 Series

Other than forgiving others, gratitude is probably one of the most important elements we need to incorporate into our lives on a daily basis.  This is for a number of reasons.

#1:  Being grateful for what we have each day delineates  the things that are going well in our lives and shifts our focus from what we perceive is not going well to what is right in our lives.

#2:  Being grateful signifies to the Universe that while we are grateful for what we have; we will be even more grateful for what we still wish to receive. If we were to give someone a gift and they responded with how awful the gift was, it’s doubtful that we would continue to give this person gifts of any kind.  If we grumble or bring negative attention to what we do not like in our lives, it is often the case that we continue to receive more of whatever it is.

#3:  Our consciousness does not discriminate between good or bad; it simply hears what we say and responds in turn by creating more of what we focus on.  For example, if we focus on our debt and ruminate about it; we will surely create more of it in our lives.  Instead, when we begin to worry about the money we owe or our lack of money, we need to cease thinking about it and begin to focus on a solution to the issue or better yet, begin to think of the money, prosperity and abundance that we already have in our lives and all of our blessings.

Ten years ago, after reading, the Simple Abundance Journal Of Gratitude  by Sarah Ban Breathnach, I began to write a list of five to ten things that I am grateful for each day.  It was very difficult to feel badly about my life when I was focusing on all of the blessings that I had.  My father, from an early age also taught me that if I ever felt badly about any circumstance in my life that I should look down, not up as there are many people in this world that have much less than we do and who suffer terribly at the hands of others.  If we wake up each day without pain, without hunger, with our freedom and in a warm bed, we should be very grateful.  Anything else we have above that; we should be exceptionally grateful.

How do I feel grateful when things are not going well in my life?

This may not be easy at every given moment, but it is a conscious decision to spend time thinking or writing what we are grateful for. I believe that no matter what is going on in our lives, we are still able to finding something to be grateful for, even if it is small.  If you have lost your job, you can still be grateful that you have a loving family.  If you have an illness you can still be grateful that you are alive.  Even if you can only begin with being grateful for the meal you had last night, it’s a start.  And the Universe responds to the smallest of things.  Begin now to make a list of things you are grateful for in this very moment.  If you want to take it one step further, make a list of things you are excited about in the near future or in a year from now.  Sometimes our present does not seem very exciting, but we can always relay to the Universe that our future is about to get a lot more exciting!

Some simple gratitude affirmations are:

I am thankful for being me.

I am thankful for my loving pets.

I am thankful for the abundance I already have in my life.

I am thankful for the meal I had tonight.

I am grateful for the job I have.

One thing that is very important if we are attempting to manifest new or better things in our lives, in terms of love, friendships, places to live, a car, or just about anything we desire, we must never grumble or be negative about what we already have.

A sure way to make sure that the Universe never provides us with a new car is to grumble about the one we have or complain about the home we have now, if we are searching for a new place to live.  We must find the beauty in what we possess now and then begin to ask the Universe to provide the newer or better one.

Good Health: Moving from “Dis-Ease” to Living at Ease – Part 1 of Top 5 Series

 

 Our health and well-being is the most important aspect in our lives.  Why?  Because no amount of money, prosperity or possessions can replace, be traded for or buy good health.  How can we truly enjoy anything in life if we are physically unwell?  Louise L. Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life believes that every physical ailment is a psychological manifestation.  Her book outlines almost every possible illness that we can create within our own bodies, along with the root emotional cause and the affirmation which can help to alleviate it.  Of course, it is not simply our words that bring about good health, prosperity or love. It is the emotion and energy we attach to it and how often we practice self-love and positive thinking and speaking.

In order to be mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually healthy, is to first love ourselves.  We must begin to eliminate all negative self-talk and replace it with loving affirmations towards ourselves.  Positive thinking and speaking – some call this a form of mediation – has been scientifically proven to alleviate stress and negative moods and feelings, ultimately creating more serotonin and feel-good chemicals within our body.   This positive energy, in turn, can be as effective as chemotherapy or pharmaceutical drugs in that it can create positive chemical reactions in our bodies.  However, if we have spent a lifetime of producing negative alchemy within our body, then obviously it will take some time and effort regarding our affirmations to undo the harm we have – and perhaps our parents in what they taught us regarding ourselves  – created in our own bodies and ultimately in our lives.

How do we do this?

Again, major illnesses come from deep-rooted or chronic belief systems.

The Belief that Illness Brings Attention:

If we had a parent or sibling who had an illness while we were growing up and we associated being sick with receiving a lot of attention, we sometimes manifest illness or chronic illness (hypochondria) in order to get the attention we feel we need from our environment.

Chronic Stress:

Any amount of stress over time, if not released can cause toxins in our body.  These toxins accumulate very much like keeping a storage box full of anger, sadness, and unforgiveness towards others or events in life.  When we begin to free ourselves from these “stuck” emotions, we also tend to see symptoms of illnesses – as well as behaviours that can bring about illnesses such as over-eating or lack of exercise – alleviate and disappear.

Out of Ease:

When we find ourselves not at ease it often leads to some kind of “dis-ease”.  At times, we have moderate stress and it can manifest in a simple cold. We tend to recuperate at the rate at which we can reduce the stress or stimuli that is causing the issue in the first place.  However, if we look at pneumonia for example, it is caused by a buildup of infection that is “stuck” from chronic illness in our bodies.  We tend to have emotions that are “stuck” in our bodies and build up to the point where we sometimes need help from an external source to fight against it.

Over-Eating or Lack of Motivation for Exercise:

Anything regarding food and unhealthy eating usually has something to do with lack of self love and not feeling safe in our environment.  I cocooned myself during my high school years by over eating in order to protect myself from the critical environment in which I found myself.  Interestingly enough, once I finished University and moved to another country, far away from the stimuli that was causing me to cocoon, I lost forty pounds which seemed to melt off of me with no work on my part.

I also felt empowered for the first time in my life and received a lot of positive attention as I was a stranger in a foreign country.  It turned out that my belief system about myself and the critical voice that I had internalized from my childhood began to give way to a more positive, self-loving voice.  I am convinced that this helped me to heal from long-standing criticism.  It was just the beginning and while my physical appearance looked great as I began to exercise and eat much healthier, I still had a lot of internal work to do to catch up.  Eventually, however, with the help of reading many books such as Louise L. Hay’s, I began to do the internal work that was needed to restore my complete mental, emotional and physical well-being.  I have not gained the weight back in fifteen years and probably look ten years younger now than I did then.

Mirror Work:

It is important that on a daily basis we look in the mirror and remind ourselves of the love we have for ourselves.

What if we do not feel loving towards ourselves right now?

#1:  Mirror Work does get easier the more you do it, but if you are not ready to say, “__________, I love you and I believe you deserve wonderful health in your life,” then begin with, “_________, I am willing to like/love you in this moment and am beginning to believe you deserve wonderful health in your life.”  As the words get easier – and they will get easier over time – readjust them to be more positive and direct.

#2:  If you are having a really difficult time loving your adult self, take some time to peruse some old photographs when you were a child.  Choose a photo of yourself as a child that you do feel compassion or tenderness towards.  Take it out and put it in a frame or better yet, enlarge it and put it somewhere in your home that you can be reminded of that innocent child that you still have within you that desperately needs to hear from your adult-self that you love him or her.

Repeating such statements as, “I love and approve of myself” daily can begin a healing process within our bodies that can astound us.  This is not only effective in our physical health and well-being but also for our emotional and mental health as well.  If you cannot say it to yourself yet; then say it your childhood picture – to your inner child for whom you do feel love.

Affirmations:  Sample Affirmations that You Can Use

Health & Well Being

“I am 100 % healthy on a molecular, cellular structure.”

“My face and body reflect the youthful child within me!”

“I love my body and am healthy, fit and feel great.”

“I am healthy and happy at ___ (your ideal weight) pounds.”

“I have lots of energy and exercise 3 times a week!”

I challenge you to begin doing this today and healing and well-being will begin to manifest within your body and your life!  You may even wish to give love to the certain body part of area that is inflicted with the illness.  I speak over my breasts all of the time as for many years I always wished I had larger breasts.  Now, I am simply happy that I have healthy ones!

Affirming What You Want – Part 5 of Top 10 Series

Change Ahead

Journey of a Thousand Steps Begin with a Single Step

I am watering the flower today…by beginning with my mantra that is my end goal.  I wish to be financially prolific so that I can travel and write at leisure.  I challenge you to think about what it is that you want your final goal to be – is it an overall feeling of freedom or a specific goal or manifestation such as a new car or home or relationship.  Choose your end goal and then begin to work backwards from there.

#1:   It is even better when you can include the word NOW within your mantra, because every time you write, “I want” or “I will have” your subconscious hears the longing for something in the future and almost always will keep you in the “want” or “will have” position.  You have to program your subconscious to believe that you already have what you desire and that you are grateful for having it.   Then your subconscious will begin to go about sending out vibrational energy in order to manifest whatever it takes towards your overall goal.

#2:   In addition, think of an adjective that conveys emotion as the universe is not simply responding to your words, but the positive vibrational energy you are sending out into the world.

#3:  Always include a reference to your health.  Our subconscious at the very base level, is most concerned with our health and survival.  Hence, it automatically keeps all of our internal organs working, our heart beating and our brain active even when we are asleep.  So when we pair our desire with the fact that having it will bring out a more peaceful or joyful or healthy existence for us, our subconscious works even harder to bring it about.  Here is my example.

It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me  NOW to be  financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE!  Thank you!

It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me  NOW to be  financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE!  Thank you!

It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me  NOW to be  financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE!  Thank you!

It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me  NOW to be  financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE!  Thank you!

It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me  NOW to be  financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE!  Thank you!

Manifesting Our Desires: Affirmations and Visualizations – Part 3 of Top 10 Series

How do we do this?  We begin with our words and then match our vibrational energy – how we feel about the words and their overall message or meaning – to them.  For example words such as joy, pleasure, fun, happiness, wealth have a much higher vibrational energy than words such as sadness, fine, okay, bad, depressed, debt.  Essentially, we create our lives and the things in it by sending out certain vibrational words and thoughts.  This is why it is SO important not just to say your affirmations but to feel and visualize you feeling the joy of success, or having the job or relationship you want.

Success & Prosperity

“Everything I touch is a success.”

“I am one with the Universe and it amazes me everyday with its generousity, love and support.”

“I am one with the Universe and this connection brings me fulfillment and abundance.”

“I am blessed beyond my fondest dreams.”

“I am in the flow of abundance.”

“Money, prosperity and wealthy flows to me every single day!”

“Money is attracted to me from every different direction.”

Relationships & Love

“I am in harmony in all of my relationships.”

“I am fulfilled in a loving relationship.”

Health & Well Being

“I am 100 % healthy on a molecular, cellular structure.”

“My face and body reflect the youthful child within me!”

“I love my body and am healthy, fit and feel great.”

“I am healthy and happy at 130 pounds.”

“I have lots of energy and exercise 3 times a week!”

Send as many of these types of vibrational messages out today as you can – they are like a boomerang and will bring back to you the things you desire…but remember to appreciate the bud and soon, the flower will grow and blossom!

I chose the picture below because it is me doing my first book reading at Chapters and that is definitely something that I envisioned happening since I was a little girl!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Attracting Love: Part 2 of Top 5 Series

Stop Complaining

Rejoicing in Love

For the past six years I have been technically single – meaning I have dated for a few months but have not been in a long-term relationship.  Why is that?  Good question.  It isn’t because I haven’t desired it. It isn’t because I haven’t attracted a lot of people in which to date.  It’s probably a combination of a number of things.

What are the obstacles that we create for ourselves when it comes to manifesting a loving relationship?

#1:  Negative Affirmations:  

One obstacle that I created for myself is that while I was writing and saying affirmations that I wanted to find a great person to love; I spent a lot of my time commiserating with girlfriends about my awful dates – which of course, only attracted more awful dates in which to confirm my “stuck” belief that dating is not fun.  I had to change my perspective about dating and to be sure that I was affirming I wanted great dates with great people more than I was commiserating.

#2:  Negative Beliefs: 

Negative Beliefs are more difficult to change or uproot than simply changing our words.  These are sometimes deeply rooted beliefs from our childhood or from our past experiences and are often associated and tangled with emotions that are stored in our memories and in our bodies.  For example, if someone has wounded you by being unfaithful to you and you have not fully addressed it, healed from it and forgiven the person in completeness, you still have a wound that is not fully healed.  It may have scabbed over; but underneath it is still infection and we all know what happens when infection brews beneath the surface.  It can then seep into the rest of our body and create havoc in many other areas.  This is why it is imperative to be true to ourselves and face our anger or sadness around this area.  How can we believe that we will attract a partner who is faithful if we still have infection from the last hurtful experience brewing beneath the surface?  The only way is to become aware of it, talk about it with someone and work through the pain until we can ultimately and truly forgive the hurt.

# 3:  Fear:

This is similar to the previous obstacle in that a lot of fear we have originates in our childhood or past experiences where we are taught to fear certain things, whether that be love or success or prosperity. Often we are taught that if we actually do possess these things they will be taken away from us.  A too good to be true type of mentality.  Many people, when things are going really well in their lives become fearful that something bad is going to happen.  This is a normal and human response to our anxiety driven environment.  We are so used to having stress, anxiety or worry in our lives that when things alleviate and we actually find ourselves happy or at peace, there is an automatic response in our minds that something bad must be going to happen.  This in turn, gives us something to worry about and therefore reinstates the “state” in which we’ve become accustomed.  This is not a normal or natural state in that we are meant to be at peace and be happy.  We are meant to commune with nature and run through grassy fields jumping for joy. Hence, when we escape to the quiet woods or serene waters, we feel this way, if only briefly until our minds take us from our present moment of peace to an internal world of chaotic thinking.  When you find yourself happy or at peace, do not fret.  It is not that something bad is going to happen next.  It is that a part of your brain feels compelled to be stressed or worry about something and so it creates that very thing.  The best thing to do when you find this happening is to thank your mind for working so hard and then instantly begin an affirmation in response to it such as, “I am deserving of happiness and peace and all is well in my life.”  Repeat this until your mind settles down and begins to feel at peace.  Repeat as needed!

 # 4:  Unforgiveness: 

Unforgiveness is the number one reason for the things that we desire not manifesting themselves in our lives.  It is also the number one cause of illness, often because negative thinking, bitterness and gal comes from unforgiveness and left unchecked in the body, produces toxins which can manifest themselves in the form of disease such as cancer.  This is what unresolved pain and hurt from past relationships can do to our present ones.   We do not forgive for the other person as much as for ourselves. Letting people off the hook for the things they  have done – big and small – is extremely important for releasing wonderful things into our lives. As difficult as it is to forgive; it’s more difficult to live a life of mediocrity and with just enough money or not enough love.  Aren’t we asking the Universe in asking for what we desire to “forgive us our trespasses as WE forgive those who trespass against us”?  This is why it is imperative to resolve issues and forgive others; not so much for them and to let them off the hook, but  ultimately to free ourselves to fully attract safe, loving relationships in our present.

# 5:  Our Language:

Attracting what we want is a twofold effort.  We must be sure that our thoughts and beliefs match our words and that our words match our actions.  We must repeat our affirmations daily and as often as we can; but we must also be sure that the energy we give our words matches our true desire and feelings about what we perceive we will have once our desire is manifested.  For example, if you imagine that finding love will bring you happiness, joy, contentment and peace then your words to attract your mate must mirror this in their energy.  Simply, when you say, “I am deserving of a wonderful romantic life-mate or husband/wife” say it with as much joy, happiness and energy as you can muster.  It is not our words that attract what we desire so much as it is the energy we exude when we think and say them.

From “Me” to “We”:  Revising Our Love List

In addition, something that became very useful to me was not only what I thought and said but what I wrote.  Instead of writing a list of “I wants” in a partner, let us attempt to write a list that encompasses both people’s needs and desires once  we find each other.  For example, “We share in wonderful experiences and share common goals.”  This makes it less about meeting our own needs and meeting the needs of the relationship as a whole.  I have included a sample of my own revised list from “me” to “we”.

In revising my own list, I have put an intention out to the universe of what I truly want in a partner and will not settle for second best again – ever!!!!

Do Not Strive to Find Perfection; Strive to find a Perfect Mate for You

Will everything be perfect?  Of course not.  We need to recognize that we have areas of individual growth and maturity on which to work and we need to understand this is also true with respect to how we communicate and respond to each other within a relationship.  I don’t know of a perfect relationship out there; I only know of couples who are willing to work together for a mutually respectful, loving, fun, romantic relationship and ones where people give up because the other person is not perfect or has issues. I have realized a few revelations after having a long-term relationship with myself:

#1:  The adage that “There is no perfect person; only a person with whom you can live with his/her imperfections” is absolutely true.

#2:  We need to forgive the other person for their idiosyncrasies if we expect to be forgiven for ours!

#3:  Find the humour in everything you share – even your annoyances.  It is sometimes beneficial to exchange a list of things that are your pet peeves (or were in past relationships) – a kind of non-wish list that we hope the other person will respect right off the bat so that silly, unimportant issues will not cause problems between you and your partner later on.   Even though these seem like trivial items,  they represent respect and attempting to make each other’s lives a little more peaceful.  We have enough annoying things to deal with such as traffic and everyday occurrences that when we come home we would rather not deal with unnecessary annoyances from each other.

#4:  We will never find the perfect person and if we continue to expect it, we will end up perfectly single for the rest of our lives.

Of course, it is never good to settle for less than what we want or to ever tolerate abuse of any kind, but if the issues with our partner are every day issues that every other couple experiences from time to time, then we can try to work through them and move on from them.  The truth is every person we meet or date is simply a reflection of ourselves and guess what?  If we dump the person we are with, we will inevitably end up looking in the same mirror with the next person we choose until we truly face the reasons why we continue to attract these qualities in someone else.

The “Me” to “We” List for Attracting the Love You Desire:

I am so happy and grateful for my romantic relationship!

  1.  I am enjoying a wonderful, romantic, mutually exclusive, respectful, fun and emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, financially healthy and fulfilling relationship that leads to marriage, with a wonderful person.
  2. We feel an effortless and easy connection with each other.
  3. We are attracted to each other very much.
  4. We genuinely love each other.
  5. We share similar spiritual and philosophical outlooks.
  6. We feel inspired and excited by each other and by our lives together.
  7. We feel at ease and comfortable with each other.
  8. We understand and reciprocate compassion for each other.
  9. We share in wonderful conversations and common activities that we really enjoy.

10.We respect and admire each other for who we are.

11.We both love the water, share excitement about boating, water activities and owning a home and a cottage on the water.

12.We share similar dreams and goals for our lives with passion, volunteer work, and enjoying life and travelling.

13.We feel at ease and safe in our love for each other.

14.We make each other want to be better people.

15.We are proud of each other and support each other in the things in which we believe and do.

16.We make each other feel loved, beautiful, (he feels manly) wanted, sexy and we only want to be with each other.

17.We are both open-minded and open-hearted to each other, other people and the needs of our global community.

18.We feel heard and understood by each other.

19.We have fun and laugh together every single day!

20.We feel like we are each other’s soul mate.

I challenge you to revise your list if it has been primarily “I” based and change it around to encompass the things in which you desire to share with your partner – a mutually beneficial relationship that is a win-win for both of you once you find each other.  And be sure, you will find each other!