Tag Archive | hope

10 Things Your Authentic Self Wants to Tell You: Speak Your Truth – Part 8 of 10 Series

The-Wisdom-of-Yoda

Yoda would definitely encourage us to speak our truth….gently!

How many of us are afraid to speak our truth? Do we even know what our truth is?

Speaking our truth essentially means to express freely what we feel to be the best, healthiest and truest decision for ourselves regarding any and every situation with which we are faced.

For example, if someone asks us to do something and we really don’t want to do it, how often do we oblige this person, do what it is they are asking and then either mentally ruminate about how much we resent it or we express our displeasure verbally or through our body language to others and perhaps to the person who has asked us for help?

How many times, when someone is late or cancels on us or disappoints us in some way, we don’t bother to say anything, but all the while, hold onto anger or resentment towards this person?

How many times, when someone does something habitually to annoy us, pressures us to do something we don’t want to do, guilts us into doing something (the list goes on and on) do we keep quiet, but secretly become angry at this person or talk about them to others?

This is what happens when we are not speaking our truth; when we are not being true to our own needs, desires and preferences and care more about what people think of us than caring for ourselves.

Are there times when we need to sacrifice ourselves – our time, money, energy for the good of others?  Absolutely.  However, the problem is when we do it all of the time – we become chronic people pleasers and swallow our feelings of resentment and this almost always manifests itself in illness or gaining weight, eventually.

What are the signs we are not being true to ourselves and have failed to speak our truth?

1.  We feel angry, resentful or dread when we are about to do something.

2.  We are in a state of mental monkey mind – this is when we are going over and over what we would LIKE to say to this person, but we never actually verbalize it.

3.  When we find ourselves talking either about the person who has disappointed us in the form of gossip or complaining – or we are continually talking about how we have to do such and such for so and so and how unfair or what a pain it is.

4.  We develop colds, sore throats, toothaches – any illness to do with the throat or mouth is usually a red flag that we do not feel free to express ourselves and we are holding “infectious words” within us, instead of verbalizing them to others.

5.  We become gossips or are forever talking ABOUT someone rather than TO them.

6.  Our relationships begin to lack honesty or depth.

7.  We disempower ourselves and therefore feel weak or angry with ourselves.

8.  Eating disorders can develop – this is especially true of bulimia.  We literally “swallow” all of the unhealthy words or thoughts from others or ourselves and then regurgitate them back out in anger.

9.  Others sense our anger or resentment and avoid having social interactions with us.

10.  We actually create more separation from our Authentic Self and soon become almost deaf to our own needs and desires.

What does it mean to speak our truth?

It is when what we think, speak and act is in alignment with each other.  If we say yes to something, we make peace about it mentally and we do it.  If we say no to something, we mentally let ourselves off the hook – we do not allow guilt to develop and we stick to our “no” in our actions.  An example of this is when we begin dating and we tell our partner that we are not comfortable becoming intimate with them until three months have passed.  Then we speak and act according to what we have told the person.  If we sleep with them the next week (which of course all of us have gone back on what we’ve told someone at some point in our lives) we disempower ourselves and we never feel completely trustworthy in our own word – and neither will that other person.  My belief is, if you don’t think you can do it, then don’t say it!

Related Links:

Speak Your Truth http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Speak-Your-Truth_2

Advertisements

Sensory Stimulation – Stops Aging & Makes Us Smarter! – Part 5 of Top 5 Series

brain stimulated

Activation of the left cerebral hemisphere during sensory stimulation.

Sensory Stimulation Therapy

It turns out that stimulating our senses isn’t just beneficial for getting more in touch with our bodies and being in the present moment – it has been scientifically proven to slow the aging process, reprogram positive neuro-pathways in our brain (making us smarter by helping us think faster) and it can actually be very healing for children with autism and elderly people who have suffered from strokes or dementia.

What is sensory stimulation?

“The answer is that stimulating the senses can have a positive effect on learning as well as emotional and social growth in a child. Sensory stimulation in learning means having activities that challenge or make use of the five senses. These senses, touch, taste, smell, listening, and visual, must be included in one’s learning. Schools incorporate sensory stimulation in their curriculum from the basics of math and reading to special classes such as art or extracurricular activities such as sports. The same is true for children with special needs. For example, as more children become diagnosed with autism, more teachers are needed to educate them. Thus, it is good to see celebrities such as the telethon on comedy central held on October 15, 2006, that featured well-known comedians as well as other notable figures to help fund the building of a center to educate teachers who are specialized in teaching autistic children.

Sensory stimulation also affects the emotional and social growth of a child. Sensory affectional deprivation syndrome (link to this page) illustrates the importance of maternal affection. When moms (and dads) cuddle, sway, sing, or rock their babies and children, they are helping that child feel the emotional needs required for healthy growth.”

(http://www.autismindex.com/Therapies/Therapy_Key_Word_Site_Map/sensory/what_is_sensory_stimulation.html)

There are a lot of websites with a lot of information about the healing aspects of sensory stimulation as well as stores and places one can visit that are specifically geared to stimulating our senses.  How fun is that?

However, if you feel like making your own fun and stimulating your own senses, read the list below!  Enjoy!

Next Blog Series:   Fear – When it’s a gift – When it’s a curse! 

List of Sensory Stimulators:   (http://www.activitytherapy.com/sensorystimulation.htm)

Vision

Pretty Wrapping Paper & Florescent Papers

Animals such as Birds, Bird Feeders, Fish Tanks

Bubble Tubes

Colored Lights, Strings of Lights, Christmas Lights

Light Box

Rattles, Tambourines

Mirrors

Flashing lights & Strobe Lights

Wind Up Animals

Mobiles that are age appropriate

Wind Socks & Wind Chimes

Activity Boxes, Easy to Watch Videos

Relaxation Videos

Taste

Peanut Butter, Licorice

Jelly, Spices, Honey

Chocolate, Peppermint

Nutella (located with Peanut Butter)

Tea, Coffee, Milk Shakes, Sodas

Strong Smelling Soups

Yogurt, Ice cream, Ice Chips Flavored

Lifesavers, Pickles, Horseradish

Smell

Lavender and other oils. Use an Electric Aroma Fan

Pot Pouri, Sachets

Perfumes, Powders, Lotions

Sun Tan Lotions (Coconut)

Candles, Incense, Aromatherapy

Bath Oils, Bubble Baths, Bath Soaps

Spices

Powders, Talcum Powders, Pillows with Powders inside

Flowers, Shrubs with Scents, Flowering Trees

Bakery, Candle Shop, Candy Shop

Pet Shop, Fruit Stand

Licorice

Hearing / Sound

Water Sounds, Fountains, Bubbling Brooks, Sound of Waves

Faucet turned on, Waterfall

Washing Machine, Dishwasher

Music, Bag Pipers, Concerts

Wind Chimes

Ticking Clocks, Metronomes, Coco Clocks

Music Boxes, Whistles

Instruments- Maracas, Pianos, Tambourines, Rattles, Chimes, Electric Key Boards, Pianos, Drums

Touch

Fake Fur, Soft Ear Muffs

Pets, Horses, Cows

Outside-Leaves, Tree Bark, Roses

Snow, Sand, Shells, Sea Weed

Hard Items-Rocks, Tree Bark, Fences

Soft Items-Clay, Dirt, Play Dough

Cotton, Sheepskin, Feathers,

Pastas, Cereals, Spaghetti

Large Beads, Jewelry, Gaskets

Pat Mats, Activity Aprons & Activity Pillows

Body Pillows, Textured Fabrics

Massage, Silk Materials

Dryer vibration, blow dryers, washing machines

Movement

Swings, Slides

Hammocks

Trampoline

Sleigh Riding

Horseback Riding

Rolling Down Hill

Merry Go Rounds

Our SIXTH Sense – Are We Listening? – Part 4 of Top 5 Series

Yoda

This voice is what you hear when you are quiet – when you take the time to tune out all the other voices, advice, criticism of others and listen to your inner guide.  I was once told, “You don’t need to ask anyone else for advice – you only need to sit with yourself and ask yourself – your Internal, Intuitive, Inner Voice (notice all of the words include the word “I” and “in” ) – meaning if you look within; you will find the answers you seek.

Our inner voice is like a good friend – an inner Yoda if you will – who cares for us very much and who wants to guide us in the right direction.  In fact, when any circumstance first visits us, is when this voice is the strongest.  We do not think it so much as we feel it.  It will be the first voice or sense we have about a situation – whether the person, event or circumstance is safe or not; whether we feel excited or fear regarding it (or him/her) – and it will be the loudest. However, like a good friend who tries to give us wise advice – if we refuse to listen or do not pay attention –  like a good friend – our inner voice will eventually give up and let us go in the direction we choose.

This inner, wise voice often gets drowned out by our ‘second thoughts’; by our fears or by the voices of others and hence, we often find ourselves going down a path that becomes difficult or unpleasant.  If it’s unpleasant, you can be sure you ignored your inner voice somewhere along the way – it will never lead you astray or down the wrong path – ever!

We sometimes lead ourselves down a particular unpleasant path in order to learn or teach ourselves something – but we probably could have learned the same lesson on a more enjoyable path.  We often think that we have to suffer in order to learn a lesson – and of course, we do  learn things from experiencing suffering – but we can learn things through pleasure or accomplishment as well.

For example, when we learn to drive, we do not have to have an accident to learn this skill.  However, if we do not listen to the wisdom of our parents or what the Driver’s Education instructor teaches us, we may end up getting into an accident. Thus, we finally learn to put their advice into practice to avoid the same mistake next time.  However, had we simply listened to the original warning, we would not have had to suffer the accident at all. This is why we come equipped with our own inner, intuitive voice – to keep us away from and out of ‘accidents’ and on the safe, more pleasurable path in life.

Buddhists say that to live is to suffer – not because we have to, but because there is an understood premise here – we are human – we do not always listen to wisdom, which creates our own suffering and hopefully helps us to be more wise or spiritually aware in the future. Of course, this does not actually work for everyone.  Some people are doomed to repeat the same error over and over and inevitably end up having their last accident.

In fact, sometimes what we do also causes suffering for others; for example,  a person who drinks and drives often results in someone innocently being killed and therefore many others suffer.  In every way our suffering comes back to a human ignoring their inner, intuitive voice.  It’s kind of like imagining we all have a little Buddha or Yoda within us.  If God or the Universe or Divine Creation has equipped us with this wise being within us – to lead us and guide us – why on earth would we ignore it?  But, ignore it, we do!  (This is my attempt at Yoda’isms)

How do we get better acquainted with this inner voice – this wise sage that lives with us? 

Below is a 5-10 minute activity to help you connect with your Intuitive Inner Voice: (It’s fun and relaxing!)

Sit comfortably with a straight spine, yet relax the body.  Feel yourself connected to the ground as you breathe deeply through the nose. Close your eyes, inhale deeply and travel in your imagination through a little boat in your bloodstream to your 3rd eye (a point about 2.5 cm above the bridge of the nose).  Here you see a ‘House Of The Senses’.  Allow it to be as it is.  Open the door with a golden key and enter.  Have a look around.  What can you see, hear, smell?  What is beneath your feet?  Enter a room on the right and explore.  This is the Room of Sight.  If any improvements, cleaning etc. are needed here, ask your angels or guides to appear and do the work.  Make it sparkle, and set it up just the way you want it.  Then progress through each room in turn – they lead off each other, in a circle going around the house, as follows:  Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste, Touch.  Visit each room in turn, notice how it is, clean and clear it, improve as necessary,  let your guides help.

Now, you return to the centre of the house.  Ascend the stairs to the room above.  This is the room of the Sixth Sense.  Again, notice how it is, clean and clear it, ask your guides to make any needed improvements.  Now, breathe deeply in the clean fresh air, and then blow, blowing through all the doors and windows, the rooms of your senses, several times.  Then leave the house through a new door, knowing you can return any time.  Come back to the conscious world now, and notice how your senses may have changed.  Bite a crisp apple, notice the scents in the air,  hear the sounds… (This meditation is adapted from ‘The Possible Human’ by Jean Houston.)

If all else fails and you find yourself in a situation that you’re not sure of what to do, listen to the following song.  It always helps me remember that there is something beyond me that is leading me and if I wait (for example, draft that email, don’t send it or don’t say “yes” right away to someone you’re not sure about) there WILL be an answer, just let it be, for now!

Let it Be by the Beatleshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0714IbwC3HA

Related Articles:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/6_secrets_to_develop_your_six_senses

Albert Instein the gift

Next Blog Series:  The Gift of Fear

Our Senses – Being in the NOW – Part 1 of Top 5 Series

Sight                               Hearing                                                  Smell

bth_Beautiful-Lake-in-the-Morning Sightrushing waterbth_red-roses

Taste                                             Touch

bth_tastingFeather and foot

During my four years of studying with the Gestalt Institute of Toronto, I heard one of the catchiest – and inspiring –  phrases of my life (so far):

Lose Your Mind and Come to Your Senses!”

This phrase is born from the idea that in order to live in the present moment, we need to stop ruminating about our past and to stop worrying about the future.  In essence, we need to allow ourselves to get out of our heads – lose our minds – and become fully AWARE of our bodies and more specifically, our five senses:  sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. This also includes being aware of our breathing and any pain, discomfort or feelings present within our bodies.

This allows us to become more present – and in the present, there is no past and there is no future and therefore, we are not ruminating or worrying.  There can only be a state of awareness and this is where we can do our most meaningful internal work.

It is interesting that in our society we are told we should not lose our mind – to lose our mind or our head infers that we are in a state of some irrational or uncontrollable emotion or that we have checked out of reality.

I don’t know about you – but sometimes doing just that, feels really good!

More often than not, however, we use food, alcohol, drugs or any number of external stimuli to help us get out of our minds and escape reality.  So, how do we learn to achieve this state of being – aware and in the moment – without these stimuli and why is it important to do so?

First of all, I am not condoning or judging anyone’s need for these external stimuli – in a world like ours with so many stresses, it is no wonder that we feel we need these things.  In fact,  some of these things – in moderation – can help us to be more in the moment.  A glass of wine every once in a while can relax us and allow us to enjoy our sense of taste!

Even after a lot of this type of training – and believe me, when I first began learning about being in the present moment, I was generally always in my head – I was struggling with being aware of my senses and therefore, being present.   This was never so obvious until one day, I was having lunch with a friend in a little deli that was partly under renovations.  We were engrossed in a very heady conversation when I realized that I had been leaning against the wall – more like framework with studs – for 45 minutes; and sticking out from the beam that I was leaning on, was a nail – the sharp end protruding out.

Had I really been leaning my arm against the sharp end of a nail for 45 minutes and hadn’t noticed?  I thought to myself, ‘Oh my goodness, how numb am I to my own senses and how much pain can I actually take before I take action?”

Interestingly enough, another exercise that we did in our group training was holding our index fingers against someone else’s cheek and pressing in – the instruction was to do this until the person receiving the pressure told us to stop.  While we did this, the person who was experiencing the pressure was to state – as best they could in this position, “I can take it.  I can take it,” over and over.  I took the pressure for at least 2-3 minutes without ever telling the person to stop.  After the exercise, we were asked a series of questions:

1.  How long did you take the pressure or pain?

2.  If you did take it for a prolonged amount of time, what made you continue taking it?

3.  Why did you take it at all?

This was one of the first revelations I had about my ability to take pain in my life; and my need to prove to myself and everyone around me that I can take it and how very strong I am.  The most significant question that our leaders posed to us after this exercise, was, “why would you take this pressure at all, if at any given moment – the first second it started – you could have told the person to stop?”

What a question!  Yes, why did we?

Why do we accept pain so easily and why do we – why did I, have something to prove regarding my own pain?  It wasn’t that I was unaware of this pain, like I was with the nail – which was really more frightening to me as I had to wonder, how could anyone lean on a nail for 45 minutes and not be aware of it?

The exercises around this topic taught me that I was almost completely unaware of my own body.  In fact, I was so unaware of my own internal pain that I had become numb to the things that caused me external pain and I had this stubborn need to prove to the world that I could take anything it threw at me.

The real issue with this is that as long as we remain numb to our pain; we often remain numb to joy and contentment as well.  Hence, I have written  blogs on depression and how it creeps up on us because of our inability to allow ourselves to feel our pain – our sadness or anger; hence, we end up not being able to feel anything – not even joy or satisfaction.

There are a few quick and effective ways to begin tuning into our bodies – ours senses – and they are well worth the time.

1.  A quiet room:   One of the things I do is sit in the sauna – this not only affords me complete interaction with my body in that I am sitting quietly allowing it to breathe and to sweat – I am usually completely alone and able to take the time to get in touch with how I am feeling emotionally and physically.

2. Sitting in or Near Water: Not everyone of course, has the luxury of having a sauna, but taking a hot bath or shower can work as well – anywhere there is water or the sound of water  can be soothing and cleansing – being in water cleanses our entire chakras and aura.  The sound of running water also affords us the luxury of tuning out external noises and distractions.  Furthermore, the bathroom is great as it usually is the only room in the house with a lock on the door – especially if you have young children or anyone living with you that could be distracting.

3.  Closing Our Eyes for 30 Seconds:  You can do this anywhere – even at work.  Close your eyes and check in with your body – from the top of your head, right down to your toes.  You can simply do a mental scale from top to bottom or you can actually ask your body what it is feeling.  The important thing is to become aware of any sensations within your body – good or bad – pleasant or uncomfortable – without judgement.

Notice how you are breathing as well.  Once you become aware of your breathing, attempt to take in deeper breaths through your nose and out through your mouth.  Some people are very uncomfortable with the idea of meditating or doing long breathing exercises – I totally understand this as I am still working on it myself – but even 30 seconds can ground you and bring you back to a state of peace if things are hectic around you or within you.

4.  Go lose your mind:  Exercise, run, play – do anything physical that can bring you out of your head and into your body.  If you want, punch a punching bag or go into the woods for a walk and smash a stick against an old root – apologize to the root beforehand perhaps if you feel badly about it – and lose your mind.  This is a great way to release tension, stress and anger that is built up.  After you’re done, check in and notice what emotions come up.  You might be surprised about what you get to finally release or whose pictures come to mind!

5.  Massage:  Whether you visit a massage practitioner or you simply ask for one from a partner or just massage your own feet, be sure to get touched at least a few times a day as our body needs to have this sense stimulated as it releases endorphins and it simply feels good.

6.  Pet an animal:  Petting an animal certainly is one way to become connected with your sense of touch.  It also calms our breathing and usually while we are being stared at by big brown eyes or listening to the purring of a contented cat, we escape from our minds – and the stress of the day – at least temporarily.

Namaste – Peace Be With You!

Next Blog:  What is Sensory Perception and How Do Our Perceptions Lie to Us?

Healing Depression – E.F.T. Technique – Part 3 of Top 5 Expert Series

depression image9372362-happy-young-woman-spreads-her-arms

E.F.T.  stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is tapping on a series of pressure points (much like acupuncture) on our hand as well as our upper body (head, collarbone, under arm) while saying a series of statements that are true for us regarding our emotions or beliefs about certain things, people or situations in our lives.  For example, we would begin by speaking the truth about how we feel:  Whether that is scared, angry, resentful or sad about the current – or past – situation in our lives.

Once we have gone through a series of tapping in this form; we would follow it by a series of  tapping on these same pressure points while stating – or replacing the first – with what we want to see, feel or create in our lives.  I have used it (you can visit E.F.T. practitioners in your community) and the great thing about it is, that it is one of the easiest methods in which you can help yourself move through stuck emotions and finally be free to explore new creativity and healthier beliefs – and therefore healthier choices – for yourself.   Stefan Gonick is an expert on the topic and the practical application of E.F.T.  Please refer to this site below to see a video tutorial to learn how to practice E.F.T. on yourself!  http://www.eft-alive.com/how-to-do-EFT.html – Stefan Gonick

Although you may feel silly doing it the first or second time, believe me, you will get over this resistance once you see and feel how beneficial and easy it is. There are many reputable people who can teach you and demonstrate the technique on the internet.   One of the most reputable healers I know is Louise L. Hay who is the author of “You Can Heal Your Life” which I read ten years ago and changed my thinking and the way I approach everything I say, think and do regarding my life.

Below is an actual interview with Nick Ortner – (The Tapping Solution) with Louise herself.  He offers this information below after spending an afternoon interviewing and using E.F.T. with Louise L. Hay:

“Louise has recently been using Tapping
in her own life, with amazing results.  I had
the opportunity to tap with Louise privately,
but in this video she was brave enough to tap
on camera so that we could share it with you!

I’ve got to tell you… what Louise shares
in this video is real, vulnerable, and
extremely moving…”

Watch it here:

http://click.icptrack.com/icp/relay.php?r=20835330&msgid=345958&act=KCWQ&c=758700&destination=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thetappingsolution.com%2F2013VideoSeries

 Next Post:   Healing Depression Without Drugs

Forgiveness – Letting go and Beginning Again – Part 3 of Top 5 Series

It is never easy when a door closes – whether we are the one who closes it or it is closed for us; mostly because it entails saying goodbye to something or someone in our lives that no longer serves us but we have become attached to. It does not seem to matter if it has been good for us or not.  We often have a difficult time letting go of things – things that haven’t brought us that much happiness, including an abusive relationship, bad habits or even negative emotions such as unforgiveness or bitterness.

However, the one wonderful thing about this time of year – when one is ending and a new one is just around the corner, is that we seem to want – even if it isn’t any easier – to actually let things go. In fact, we tend to almost look forward to saying goodbye to things and begin anew.  We want to let go of bad eating habits, not-so-great spending methods, extra weight, even a not-so-great relationship or in some cases, an entire year that was not at all what we had hoped for or expected.

Whatever it is that we are saying goodbye to this year, it is important to remember that once we let go of anything, our hands are free to accept and receive many other, wonderful things.   The problem is that we often perceive our open hands (or hurting heart) as signifying emptiness and we do not like this feeling very much.

Hence, we hang on to the closed-door while there is a perfectly lovely one we can walk through if we allow ourselves to do so.  So why do we struggle so much in letting go of that closed-door as illustrated in the picture above?  Understanding why we become so attached to things is crucial in being able to finally let go and put ourselves in a position to accept the new.

# 1.  Understanding our Need for Attachment:    It is very similar to a dog with his bone.  My dog Jack is enthralled with his bone that I bring home and give him – so much so that if I try to take it away from him, even if it is to give him a new bone, he fights me tooth and nail – literally.  Why?  Well, Jack’s ancestors knew that scrap bones were hard to come by – dogs got fed last and if they were lucky they were thrown a bone once in a while.  They never knew when their next bone was going to come.  Hence, they would often go find a secluded location, dig a hole and bury the bone in order to ensure that it was never taken from them.  The irony of this is that they didn’t allow themselves to really enjoy the bone in the moment and would sometimes even forget where they buried it; hence, preventing themselves from enjoying the very thing they were trying desperately to protect.

We may laugh at this example and yet, as humans, are we so different?  How many of us receive a new toy, piece of jewellery or even a wonderful smelling candle or any kind of item and instead of wearing it or using it in the present moment, we place it somewhere safe and think, “One day soon, I will bring that out and enjoy it”.   I am guilty of this myself when it comes to even simple things such as candles and bath gel.  Whenever I receive these types of gifts, instead of allowing myself to enjoy them, I will often stash them away thinking that one day when I have time to myself to have a leisurely bath, I will dig them out and enjoy them.  What most often happens is I find them a year later while I’m hiding my new stash of candles or I will find myself burning these wonderfully smelling candles when guests come over.  Why is it that we will allow ourselves to enjoy things for the benefit of other people but often sacrifice ourselves?

#2.  Identifying Things We Need to Let Go Of:  The second most important thing we need to do is to identify the things and perhaps relationships that are no longer serving us.  We need to sit down and make a list (yes, I am encouraging you to do this today – what better day than the last day of a past year?) of the things that we would like to get rid of and the things that we would rather not let go of, but know they are not healthy for us nor are they truly making us happy or serving us.  It could be a list of very important things like a relationship or simple things such as old clothes or items that we have been holding on to thinking that one day we might use them.  Begin your list and see what comes up – you may be surprised.

#3.  Negative Attachment:  Ask yourself: What is this negative attachment really doing for me? Chances are that rather than making you feel safe and joyful, you are feeling tired, anxious, unhappy about yourself and unable really to live a full life. While you may want control, this habit is making you totally out of control and making you live in hardship rather than peace. You may want love, but this relationship is making you feel unloved and if you are honest with yourself, you know it won’t change.  (Practical and Spiritual Tips for Letting Go of Unhealthy Attachments by )

#4.  Discovering Yourself in the Process:  Everything we hang on to serves us in some way.  For example, we even hang on to “stories of our lives”  which are evident when we hear ourselves say, “Oh that’s the story of my life!” or “That’s just my luck!”  or “Why does this keep happening to me?”  I wish I could tell you that you just have bad luck or these are random things that happen to you; but the truth is we create everything and everyone if our lives; so that if we have something  or someone in our lives that we find less than desirable, we have attracted them for one of two reasons.
Number 1.

We have the same need/issue/emotion within ourselves.  For example, every time I would go out dancing with my girlfriends, I seemed to attract really annoying people – the kind of guys who would grind next to me, bump into me and hit on me even though I wasn’t interested in them at all.  I used to say, “I am a freak magnet”.  And guess what?  I kept attracting them!  When I began to realize the emotion that was evoked within me – mostly frustration and sometimes anger, I began to realize that something within me was frustrated and angry.  I was perhaps still angry at an old ex but because I was no longer able to express this anger to him, I continued to attract guys I could become angry at in order to work out this unresolved feeling.

The problem with this subconscious method of working emotions out is just that – it is in our subconscious and we are truly not aware of what we are doing.  Hence, we continue the same thing over and over.  The most empowering thing we can do for ourselves when we realize we are experiencing the “same story” or “experience” over and over, is to look within (not without at this annoying person or situation) and ask ourselves, “Okay, what is the emotion that keeps coming up for me?” and then ask ourselves this, “who am I still mad at in my past?”

Number 2:

The second reason we continue to experience similar stories in our lives is that believe and speak what I spoke out: “I am a freak magnet”. As long as I believe that many guys are freaks and I am a magnet for them, I will continue to attract them. The interesting thing is that I stopped speaking this “story” over my life, worked out my anger and rarely do I ever get approached by these types of people. If I do, I recognize, “oops, I still must have a little residual anger or frustration going on within me” and begin (once I’m home from having my fun dancing of course) to work on getting it up and out of my body! How do we do this?

#5.  Unresolved Emotions:  Okay, great!  We’ve discovered feelings from the past that are still creating the same stories for us today, but how do we let go of them?  There are several, practical ways one can actually release stuck emotions and finally be free of them.  We have to find the method that is right for us but I am going to list the top five methods that I have found to work well and fairly quickly (remember that we cannot jump over, go around or evade our feelings – we must plow through them – it is the ONLY way to be truly free of them).

#1.   Reiki.  Find a reiki practitioner (one referred to you by a close friend or colleague is usually good) who can help us, not so much through talking, but through energy work in our bodies by getting to the heart of the stuck emotions and releasing them in a safe, effective manner. Many reiki masters will encourage us to do a little talking so they can get a sense of where and what we are holding onto emotions, but unlike traditional therapists, most of the work done is through energy work in our bodies.  As long as we only “talk” about our emotions, we remain in our heads.  We need to get in touch with our bodies.

#2.  E.F.T.  This stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is tapping on a series of pressure points (much like acupuncture) on our upper body (head and collarbone) while saying a series of statements that are true for us regarding our emotions and then beginning to state what we want to see and feel in our lives. I will not go into a lot of detail here about E.F.T. but I have used it (you can visit E.F.T. practitioners in your community) and the great thing about it is that it is one of the easiest methods in which you can help yourself move through stuck emotions and be free.  Although you may feel silly doing it the first or second time, believe me, you will get over this resistance once you see and feel how beneficial and easy it is. There are many reputable people who can teach you and demonstrate the technique on the internet.  I have found many on YouTube that can walk you through the technique working out any number of issues.

# 3.  Exercise:  Any kind of movement whether it is traditional exercise, yoga, using a punching bag (really great for anger issues as you visualize the person or think about the situation that has angered you) or even dancing can help us to move and release stuck emotions.  Again, you have to do some research or experiment and discover what is the best form of exercise for you.  Even walking while expressing your true emotions can be powerful.  Sometimes, I walk and punch my arms out in front of me while saying to the person I am angry at, the things that I would have liked to say to their face.  The most important thing is to first be honest about your feelings and then express them.

#4.  Forgiveness:  Once you have identified the emotions and expressed them, we must be willing (not necessarily able in the moment) to forgive and let go of this person or story in our lives.  This is why I highly recommend one uses techniques such as Reiki or E.F.T. because even though we can “talk” through an issue; sometimes anger, hurt and bitterness is deeply ingrained in our bodies and these techniques will focus on our body, not just our head and our thoughts.

Unfortunately, many times, we cannot reason our way to forgiveness and letting go – we must first go straight through the emotion.  If you believe in God or a higher power such as the Divine Universe, sometimes a simple statement such as, “Please God/Universe/Divine Creator help me to forgive this person as I cannot do it on my own.  Show me or put in front of me ways in which I can reach forgiveness.”  There is something very powerful in the WILLINGNESS to forgive that helps us along the journey.  Do not worry about the “how” as something greater than ourselves, when “it” hears that we are simply WILLING to forgive and move on, will move heaven and earth to help us do this even if it’s just putting in our path a person or situation that will help us – just be open to seeing that person or situation when it appears for you as it WILL appear!

#5: Beginning Anew:  Once we have done our “work” or “exercises” to work through our emotions, the best part – the most exciting part is to begin to see all of the open doors around us.  In fact, many doors will have been open the whole time except that because we were so stuck in our old emotions – holding on to that handle of the closed-door so tightly – that we were unable to see the other open doors around us.  Begin to imagine what those doors would look like and what sign would be on them such as “New Friendships”  “New Loving Relationship” a “New Job” “New Insight” “New Invitations and opportunities for Fun”.

Whatever it is we are looking for is always right there waiting for us – we just can’t always see them which makes letting go of that closed-door so frightening.  What if there is no one else to hang out with?  What if we never meet anyone else?  What if no one else will love us?  What if that new job never comes?  and so on.  The best way to reassure ourselves that these “new doors” will open is to remind ourselves of how many doors we have already closed – or have been closed for us over the span of our lifetime and how many new doors have always opened.  The best way to see our future is to let go of the past, but we can always use it as a GPS to get where we are going and to not repeat the same stories and end up in the same location.

Now, close your eyes and see whatever doors you have been holding onto, for whatever reason finally closing.  Then, turn yourself around in your mind’s eye and imagine all the new doors that are opening for you and allow yourself to put your hands out and receive whatever they have for you.  As Adele says in her famous song, “Throw your soul through every open door”!   What a great way to live!

Happy “New” Year and blessings as you begin to forget about all those old bones that you’ve finally buried and begin to get excited about all the new ones that will be given to you.  The thing to remember is that if I, as Jack’s master, would never take away one of his old chewed bones if my intent wasn’t to give him a brand new, whole one to chew on (as I am always looking out for his best interest and I am only human), than how much more is our God/Universe/Divine Creator who is Divine Love, looking out for us?  However,  just as our Divine Creator wants to endow us with the new, he/she cannot until, like Jack, we are willing to let go of that nasty old bone!  : )

Listen – Live Interview – How YOU can Begin Living a Life Of Vibrant Energy!

LISTEN TO TANYA M. COOPER:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lizyt/2014/11/25/tanya-m-cooper-author

LOVE Cover

Please check out Tanya’s latest book which is a compilation of all of my posts within this blog at the following sites:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/tanya-m-cooper?store=allproducts&keyword=tanya++m+cooper

http://www.publishamerica.net/product53922.html

How can you live your own Renaissance?

1.  Change Your Perspective:

     The Mystery of Mona Lisa:

“When the viewer looks directly at [her] mouth…the fovea{of our eye] does not pick up the shadows, and the portrait no longer appears to be smiling.  Therefore, the appearance and disappearance of her smile really is an attribute of viewers’ vision. This is one of the reasons why the painting has remained an enigma to art enthusiasts and perhaps the most famous painting in the world.” http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-mystery-behind-the-mona-lisa.htm

Another example is the pigeon; it’s head continually sways from front to back so that when its head is in backward motion, the pigeon is re-aligning its vision in order to see what is ahead of it.  We need to do this on a continual basis as well – step back from a person, decision, situation – in order to gain a fresh perspective on it and in many ways, this results in fresh solutions or actions that we begin to realize we can take regarding any situation in our lives.

2.  Think differently:  This is similar to gaining a new perspective but it entails actually training ourselves to catch the bombardment of negatives thoughts we have, when we have them and to cancel them and exchange them for more hopeful, insightful ones.  This isn’t always easy.  Read my posts under Re-programming Our Subconscious Mind for practical ways to do this.

3.  Change Your Words:  We begin with our words and then match our vibrational energy – how we feel about the words and their overall message or meaning – to them. For example words such as joy, pleasure, fun, happiness, wealth have a much higher vibrational energy than words such as sadness, fine, okay, bad, depressed, debt. Essentially, we create our lives and the things in it by sending out certain vibrational words and thoughts. This is why it is SO important not just to say your affirmations but to feel and visualize you feeling the joy of success, or having the job or relationship you want.  Please refer to my posts under Affirmations & Manifestations.

4.  Stop Trying to Force Things:  While I am convinced that the more we begin to think, speak and act positively and raise our vibrational level, the more we will begin to feel better and manifest things in our lives; I too, recognize that we must not overwork ourselves at it either. Otherwise, we can also create negative effects by putting too much pressure on ourselves and actually manifest something we do not really want or need.  Please refer to my posts under Affirmations & Manifestations.

5.  Keep Health at the Top:  Always include a reference to your health. Our subconscious at the very base level, is most concerned with our health and survival. Hence, it automatically keeps all of our internal organs working, our heart beating and our brain active even when we are asleep. So when we pair whatever we desire with the fact that having it will bring about a more peaceful or joyful or healthy existence for us, our subconscious works even harder to bring it about.  Here is my example:  It is EASY, HEALTHY and JOYFUL for me NOW to be financially FREE to TRAVEL and to WRITE! Thank you!  Please refer to my posts under Health & Healing.

6.  Stop Settling for Second Best: When we settle for less than what we want, it’s because we do not have enough faith to believe we can and will get exactly what we ask for.  Hence, we usually end up with less than what we had hoped for.  Choose what you want and keep your focus on it! Please refer to my posts under Prosperity.

7.  Avoid Toxic or Negative People:  If there are people in your life who negate what you think, believe or aspire to – these people do not share your positive energy and will most definitely create, if not in your life, then in your own consciousness a seed of doubt which inevitably, despite our best efforts can lead to a full-fledged weed within our minds. Avoid people like this. Obviously people mean well and want to give you advice. However, while humans cannot open certain doors that the Universe can; humans too can keep doors shut with their own minds that the Universe cannot open. Be wary of the company you keep and the thoughts that you entertain!  Please refer to my posts under Love & Relationships and Fear.

8.  Align Your Actions with Your Words:  Another obstacle lies not in our words but our actions. For example, if we steal anything there is a strong message to the Universe that we cannot afford to buy things. If we borrow or use the copier at work for personal items, it sends the same message. We must live a life of the utmost integrity to send the utmost positive messages to the Universe that we can afford and believe we deserve the very best.  Please refer to my posts regarding Affirmations and Manifestations.

9.  Be Grateful:  Every day, we need to give thanks for what we have and to focus on that; not on our lack.  For example, if we are awaiting something to manifest in our lives, we need to rejoice in the things that have already happened and the things that are about to happen. What I want to stress is that once things begin to flow in our lives, we must rejoice in them and we can also utilize them to convince our subconscious that we indeed receive the things in which we need and for which we ask. It is not always easy to be patient and keep our faith in-the-meantime; however, if we focus on the times in our lives and the things that have manifested, we are better equipped to handle those times that it appears nothing is happening.  Please refer to my posts regarding Gratitude.

10. Love: Thoughts of love (not necessarily the romantic kind, but rather love as in pure appreciation) vibrate higher than any other emotion. Period. You (in your non-physical form) are essentially unlimited love, joy, and abundance. Everything that everyone wants in their life is because they think it will give them a taste of these things – love, freedom, and joy.

The basis of your life is freedom.

The purpose of your life is joy.

That is why you are here. So find something, anything that you love and fixate completely on it for a few minutes. It doesn’t matter what the object of your love is – just feeling the emotion purely will raise your vibration.

For further reading on any of these topics, please refer to the right sidebar Topics of Interest.